My mother seems to be in final stages of Alzheimers. She is in a nursing home and is pretty much bedfast or sits in a reclining chair. She has no muscle control to sit up. Anyone have any helping points on how to communicate or make some happiness in her life?

Momma lost vocabulary early on. I would tell her that I couldn't understand what she meant but wanted to know. I would ask questions that she could answer yes or no to try to find out what she was saying.

If your MIL is somewhat cognizant, you could try that....sort of 20 questions type of thing. "Are you talking about the NH? Are you hurting? Are you remembering the past?" If you can pinpoint a topic out of her words, you may be able to have a "sort of" conversation.

Sometimes when I couldn't understand Momma, I would just tell her: "I'm sorry. I am listening to you. I wish I could understand what you are telling me." Also, I would tell her that even if I couldn't understand what she was saying, I still loved her very much.

That's about all you can do if they are aware that you don't understand.

PATS

my mil is also in the last stage of ad and dying. it is very hard to endure. harder for her i imagine. when i visit her she spends all the time twisting and folding and pulling up her sheet. she talks but we can barely hear her and don't understand what she is saying. that is really hard, because she wants the conversation, but i don't know how to respond. one time she spoke and i agreed and she made a face like she could'nt believe what i said. any tips?

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Originally posted by :
My mother seems to be in final stages of Alzheimers. She is in a nursing home and is pretty much bedfast or sits in a reclining chair. She has no muscle control to sit up. Anyone have any helping points on how to communicate or make some happiness in her life?

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She will be aware of your presence even if she does not respond to you. Speak in a soft voice. Touch is very important and tells more than words ever could. You may just want to sit and talk about fond memories, of happier days, of all of those that love your LO in their life time. Speak of your favorite times, your love and your favorite memories.

JAN:

TOUCH is probably the most important communication at this point. Soft words of love may also get through at times. Soft materials for robes or blanket throws can be very comforting.

Just because she cannot sit up does not necessarily mean that she is very close to the end. Momma leaned to one side very much and had to be propped up with pillows. For her, this was the situation for more than a year (or maybe more than 2 years...I forget). And she was incontinent for at least 6 or 7 years. I'm not saying that this will be your experience, but it was ours. Each person is different.

Tapes of HER type of music may also be enjoyable for her, preferably the softer, slower tunes. Although Momma loved the Patriotic Marches as well as some of the Polka tunes, in additon to the Bing Crosby, etc. types.

Always try to get at her eye level when visiting and close to face/ear when speaking if her eyes are closed. Hold her hand or have an arm around her or stroke her face......these things will make her aware that she is not alone even when she cannot open her eyes.

Momma loved bells, so I kept one on her stand that could be rung occasionally. Even though it was small, I made sure that it had a good melodic tone. Sometimes the sound of her bell would cause her to open her eyes to look for it and sometimes she would just get a more relaxed look on her mouth (as if a smile was lurking in the background but just couldn't make it any further. Of course, there were times that she would be in such a deep sleep that nothing would seem to get through to her. But I always assumed that she might be able to hear or feel my touch at some level even though she was too tired to show it.

Hope this gives you some ideas to adapt to your own situation. Will be thinking of you and praying for all of you.

PATS

Dear Jan:
Your mother apparently is in the final stage of Alzheimer's Your goal is to continue to make her feel loved and still important. The loving thing for you to do is to be there with continued reassurance of your love. No heroic measures or forced feeding. Keep her comfortable with whatever it takes. Keep reminding her of good things in her past even though she may seemingly not be responding. Let her go feeling loved.
Keep faith and God bless.
Franklin