Hi Everyone, I'm hoping some of you might have some words of wisdom for me. IH called me this afternoon and invited me over for supper. (I never ask what's cooking - it's always good eats) He told me he wanted to talk about something with me. (I love a good mystery) So, I jumped into my rattle trap (car) and sweeked down the road 2.2 miles. (long trip for the old girl but she made it down and back) (I always wear sneakers just in case) Anyway, he and his wife have a 3 bedroom house that they are in the middle of renovating. When it is finished - they want me and my weainer dogs to move in with them. They became more then best friends to me years ago. They are family. I love them dearly and they show their love for me every day. They didn't want an answer tonight, they want me to think about it before deciding. Things have been blissfully quite on the home front since the landlord was slapped with the Protection From Harassment papers so I have some stress free time to think about it. Right now I have NO clue what my future holds for me. Hubby had Life Insurance so I won't starve until I decide what to do with myself. Back to work....back to school.....I just don't know right now. (I do know Beebee is looking at my sandwich like it is a Pork Roast and I had better hand some over) They do have another house (also being renovated) that they live in during the winter months so I would have the place to myself 6 months out of the year. The one draw back would be all the weight I would gain cooking monster meals with IH. (he wears the apron in that household) Having no idea if I should do this or not, I thought I would toss the case to all of you. Any and all thoughts are welcome. Thanks.

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As far as an "easy out" for me goes - there is no and should never be an "easy" ANYTHING for me.

Oh Sprig!! Why are you not allowing yourself to accept ANYTHING easy? Be extra good to yourself now. I'm not trying to say that everyone should always take the easy way, because sometimes there's just NOT an easy way. But to say you shouldn't ever be allowed an easy way is punishing yourself.
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!! Some things you just can't fix, no matter how much time there is.
I can understand some of your feelings - the two of you together were thisclose to resolving the financial muddle, and now only you will benefit. But that in itself is a reason to fight. I'm not sure of the background here - did you have any knowledge that your husband's time here was limited? Did he? Carry on this legal fight - he would have wanted it for you.
At any rate, YOU DID NOT FAIL your husband. You accepted life with him the way it was, and loved him every minute of your time with him. Even if there were times you were so ragingly mad at him you happily would have pushed him off a cliff, you still loved him, way down deep in your soul. And still do, I know. About 6 months ago, I found a glass magnet with the word ALWAYS painted on it. It's inside my husband's urn. Because I will love him always, as I know you will love your husband. As all of us here will always love.

And love never fails. Love may be the only thing there is always time for, and most times, love is easy.

There, see? You already allowed one easy thing in your life. You can allow it again. Give yourself permission to accept easy.

Big, big hugs. Deb

I too failed at being Wonder Woman gals. If I only knew I sometimes say. But wow, life lessons learned can maybe help and save someone else from making the mistakes I did. My failures have also taught my son that his mom is not perfect (LOL) but it's what we do with these lessons and move on in as much as a positive manner as we can. Mom and Dad are dead. My husband is dead. My brother DOES NOT WANT to have any contact with me and HATES me. There is nothing I can do about those circumstances. I TRY to let go but like I said I'm NOT Wonder Woman and can't fix those things. What can I do? Clean my childhood home for the impending move so my brother can cash in on his half of it. Have the garage sale so when I do move I have some money put away for a new refridgerator that I know I'm going to need at the house we will be renting. (The old one is over 30 years and falling apart). Pack what I am not using so when it's time it will not be that overwhelming. Be nice to son who has lived here his whole life and understand how difficult this is for him and let him proceed for the time being at his own pace. But first..the kid next door beeped my car horn to tell me it's time to take him to work to paint my classroom while I get the summer stuff together. Be kind to yourselves. Eat icecream!

Yes, I failed at being "Wonder Woman". I sucks to be "Wonder Woman".

Well, BC, I am beginning to believe you and IH are two-in-one for getting my head on straight. I ask him all the time, "How the hell do you put up with me"? I am sorry for sounding so stupid eariler. His problem is he is afraid I will go crazy and forget how to fix pasta a zillion different ways. Have you ever caught blue crab off a dock using a long piece of twine, hook and a bit of hotdog? The tide must be just right and you have to be about 12 years old. It was a blast!

Honey, Sprig,
if it has been said before. When the "job" is done, Who are we?? Go fishing.

Scares me half to next year.

Did you fail at being "Wonder Woman"? So did I. For me , I still got my H, but I feel like I failed wih my older Bro.
I would have had to be "Wonder Woman" to change things. We do what we can, and that is it.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Bobcat,

Bobcat, You not only gave me food for thought, it is a 7 course meal. Lots to consider. Living in their home would be for as long or short as I wanted. If all was as it should have been with my landlord, I would most likely choose to stay put for a year. I think I will hold off on any decision to move until after court on the 17th. You asked if I know how to give myself a break. I'm not sure I understand what you are asking me. I do asume you are not talking about this cup of coffee I have sitting here. As far as an "easy out" for me goes - there is no and should never be an "easy" ANYTHING for me. I failed my husband. I know what you are going to say because IH and his wife have already told me - many times. But deep in my soul - I failed him. I tried so hard but there just wasn't enough time to fix things. And now it is too late. I'm tired of fighting all these people. I want it all to just stop. Even if I win the whole mess in the courts, I will have lost so much. My reason for fighting is gone. Oh my Lord - I hurt!!!! I thought I could do this. I need to find some serious help. Yes, I am scared.

Wisdom, here, honey is in your lap. If there is no long term commitment, and it is a comfort zone for you, Why Not? Still , if you have to ask, Is There a Not in your mind?? What would that be? Walk them "weiners", you'll keep the weight off.

Do you know how to give your self a break? Or do you think, underneath, if you take an "easy out", you'll do that forever and never stand up alone, again? That is a scary thought.