Today was the last straw. I have been so upset all day that I have ended up sick to my stomach. When it got to that point, I knew what I needed to do and that is think about me. My siblings are expecting me to pay the full assessed value of the property plus 25% of this house because I have supposedly lived here in this house scot free. They want to see Mom's bank statements for the last year. So I have decided this isn't worth it. So right after Christmas we are packing up all of our stuff and moving back to where we were living. The only thing of Mom's I am taking with me is her dog, and I will be danged if they are getting him. Then I am going to the lawyer and giving him the keys to the house, and resigning as Personal Rep for the estate. I am also changing my phone number and any contact will have to be through the lawyer. My husband and I decided that my mental health is more important than this crap. I don't need them, and I don't want anything except now I want my 1/5 in cash. I took care of Mom because I wanted to, now they are accusing me of things that aren't true. I know walking away won't change the way they think, but at least my stress level will be better. The things is, I shouldn't be surprised. I knew this was going to happen, but I always had hope. When this is all done, I will no longer have anything to do with them. As far as I am concerned, this part of my so called family no longer exists. Is this terrible?

Angel, I've been watching my partner deal with emotionally disowning her family for some time now. It's been such a drain on her because she truly wants a family - she wants to be close to them and be there for them and be fair with them - but they have made it quite clear that is not what they're after. The uproar over material items after her mother's death was horrible, and a lot has changed since. It's sad that , rather than bringing a family closer together, sometimes deaths can tear them apart. While your leaving your family behind is going to hurt on many levels I"m sure, the likely reality is that not doing so means being hurt repeatedly for the rest of your life. Sometimes the best you can do is to choose between two tough choices and in this case it would seem that disowning your family is the emotionally healthiest decision for you to make. I'm so sorry it has turned out like this for you. Youre not terrible Angel - what's terrible is how very different this could be and should be and I'm sure you wish it were. I wish you well - Melissa

"Whatever tomorrow brings, I"ll be there-with open arms and open eyes"

Dear Angel1023...

Last straws. It's always good to recognize when you've had the "last straw." As Sonia advised, trust yourself and move forward and surely ahead. The world and your new life await you.

Warmest regards and may the holiday season bring you peace and unexpected joy...

Joan Marie

"Dream as though you will live forever. Love as though you will die tomorrow."

Angel1023,

quote:

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As far as I am concerned, this part of my so called family no longer exists. Is this terrible?

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No, Angel, it isn't terrible. Sometimes, it is just the reality that some families can't co-exist. My mother and I had issues long before I finished high school; they worsened when I married; and totally fell apart more than 12 years ago. I haven't spoken to my family since then.

You did what you had to do when your mother was alive. Now that she is gone, you don't owe anything to the remainder of the family, and definitely, you are not required to be executor against your will. So shed the guilts, look forward to your new life, with a happier husband. I wish you peace and quiet, calm and love.

I'll offer you a smile, compliments of my eight-year old grandson:

Father: For Christmas, I would like a little peace and quiet.

Son: Well that's easy. I'll just wrap up an empty box. When you look inside, peace and quiet is all you will find.