It's been nearly two years since Dad passed away, and I still miss him every day.

I would never have survived being a 24/7 caregiver without the information and support that I received from the other members here.

Thanks and love to all of you.

Jo O

gigi, your feelings are more then understood.They are shared by many.When we have been responsible for so much we fail to see , as we have aged , so has our spouse.
We have divided out r attention among many that we do not have the time to notice changes of a loved one.He is with you.Put your arms around him and share what you are feeling in your heart.Assure him he is still the most important person in your life.
Consequences force us to get side tracked but not intentionally.Hey the hair shows his distinction.The wrinkles are earned.
Talk to him and share what you have shared with us.Unfortunately we have to spread the pie in small pieces when caring for someone.But a piece is better then nothing.
My husband looked soo professional with his gray hair.Actually he had no wrinlse til the dy he dies.I had and have them all.
Make the most of the many years you will have.
I recall a time I would say the house is full but feels empty.
I soon learned I had to make changes to bring it alive.Whisper in his ear, lol
There are days when something is so bothersome we have to share it with someone to allow your self to be honest with your feeling.

Jo Im so happy to see you!
(((HUGS)))
Its been a while but I often wondered how you were doin, what you were doin.
What are you up to now? Fill us in when you get a chance

Gigi, I so understand what you are expressing.
Now I am going to take the lighter side of this and tell you, your description fits me to a T.

Yes. Just looked at husband today, I mean really looked, probably first time in the past 2.5 years, and he's gained about 40 pounds, added wrinkles, sprouting white and gray hairs, and in the process is loosing the dark ones. I don't want it to happen so quickly. I want to be able to spend time with him. I miss him in all of this too. Even though he's right there beside me. I don't know if this even makes sense. Sorry about that. It all just came out all of a sudden. (sniff, sniff)

Gigi, I understand how you feel.It it normal .It would be so nice if you could have spontaneous time with your family.It is a tough balancing act for sure.

Be easy on yourself, if you can...I just can't imagine it.

With caring for mom and dad, i just get so emotionally tired, and physically, too, but really emotionally the most. It's been crazy since the accident and months and months in hospitals - 5 different ones, back to back. And now home to rehab, that turned into our very own version of a NH. Just we're not trained and we're our own cook, cleaner, and candlestick maker. It seems there never any time for the boys or for my husband at all. That makes me sad too. No time, no time, no time for anybody. Except in the wee hours of the morning when I can't sleep and feel bad about what I couldn't do. oh well............
Love is a difficult thing. It wraps ahold of you and doesn't let go. ANd that's exactly how you want it to be.

I am so sorry.
My husband is my best friend. I would be lost without him. My heart goes out to you.

It hasn't been long at all since he passed...

GiGi, thank you for your kind words.
The one thing you have to find is your self confidence.With this you begin to know that you can over come so many obstacles thrown to you each day.
Also, no one is perfect.That is just as important.
When you make a mistake, you learn from that mistake.When you do not know something, push pride aside and ask.
I came here knowing so little.Only the basics.Still so much I do not know but I want to continue to be informed.

My husband passed away Jan 11th of this year.In many ways it seems like yeaterday and at time an eternity.

ps. how long ago was it that you lost your husband?

I LOVE you MAE!!! you give me great hope. thanks! how do you know just what to say? You touch my soul - even when I didn't know it needed it. Thanks for knowing..........

GIGI, when you are in the daily stress of caregiving you do not realize your strengths.Not until you have lost your loved one and have a chance to reflect do you realize just how much you are able to do.You see you have challenged your self and met the challenge.Your failures will give you the determination to try again, just a different way.Each negative, in time, you will discover a positive.Most of it will be to your favor.

JO O,
I understand how you feel.There is not a day that goes by that I do not miss those I cared for.
I received so much from this forum.When my husband was in his last days Moms Buddy helped me in so many ways.She is so well informed.She gave me good information that I would not have and did not get from the doctor or nurses.
It was a long hard road but I was the winner in the end.
I learned so much about my self and medicine and the medical establishment.
It made me such a better person.
I am now a companion to a sweet lady who has the beginning of AD.Because of my experience I am so able to do what has to be done to be a companion.One thing I have learned is patience.
I thought once my caregiving days were done , my life would be better.Life is good but I am like this lost puppy.
I view my life in such a different way.I had a real purpose and it seems it has been taken from me.
I do appreciate every day that I am physically and mentally capable.

Hello! I'm new to cg for mom and dad, only 2.5 years now. I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting, it reminded me of why I am doing this and gave me strength tonight for the journey. I think I was led to peek in tonight. HE's been talking to me all day about it. That cg, isn't a duty, being a good daughter, an obligation, and that when all is said and done, instead it's an honor with no regrets. That takes the craziness away. Well, for the moment anyway. Keep your chin up.