Hi All,

Well its that time of the year when holidays are rolling up ... and I just don't feel like celebrating.

Mom's final decline began last year on Thanksgiving night when her lungs filled with fluid. She died a week and half later.

I know shes in a better place. I am doing pretty well considering what I've been through.

December is the anniversary of my husband's, best friend's and mom's death. My other best friend is in a nursing home with rapidly progressing dementia.

I'm feeling the full weight of the all the losses in my life.

Bleh, holidays! Sharon

Dear Career Counselor -- thank you for grounding me... I get caughyt up in the family dynamics and stress of the goings in regarding the holidays...I still have my lovely MIL who is declining with this Alzheimers. I will focus on the traesured memories that are created with the holidays and not get caught up in the chaos.

My prayers are with you as you carry the heavy loss...you loved you cared you gave...that is the holiday message.

peace and grace.

Dear Sharon,

The next time you are feeling the full weight of all the losses in your life, please know you have lightened the burden for many others. You really have... and I am just but one who appreciates all that you have taken the time to share with us. Don't stop!

Sending you hugs and wishing you peace in your heart.
Joan Marie

Sharon it is understandable you are experiencing these feelings.The holidays are the times we spend or spent with families.So many memories we have gathered.Christams is a beautiful time of yesr but there is something sad that is felt also.I believe it is all of those we have lost but the sweet memories linger.I had a tree last year as my grand children look forward to grand moms tree and decorations .I ALSO DID NOT WANT THEM TO FEEL THAT MY MOTHERS PASSING DID NOT MAKE THEM ANY LESS IMPORTANT.The hardest time is when we all open gifts.It has always been a time when we open the gifts , one person at a time.Mothers presence was missed and also she would always say we shouldn't have spent our money on her.My daughter would come early in the morning to capture the moment.She loved Xmas music.I recall a day when I took her out , she began to sing white xmas.She did not reconize many things but recalled all the words.She loved the Bing Crosby songs.Thank god we have movies to look back on.It is sad but it is necessary so she is never forgotten .She would help me make the dinner for the holidays.The joke was she would clean the turkey so wekll you were afraid there would be no meat left.She also was the one I tried new receipes on.She would like them and say it tasted like more.I never could count on anyone like I could my mother.We have to believe their spirit is with us and enjoying the families coming together.