It has been nearly 2 years since I last posted here. I was my Dad's caregiver till he needed 24/7 care. Dad's illness brought out some serious rifts in the family. Happily my sister Joan and I reconnected. I think we both decided it was lonely without family with memories in common.

Joan is now dealing with the terminal illness of her partner. She and he found each other only about five years ago. I was so happy for her as she finally found a deep mutual love.

Bill was diagnosed squamous carcinoma a month ago. This is his second bttle and the outlook if bad. The oncoloist has told her that it will be 6 months to 1 year. Bill has no health insurance. He has been a welder for the last 20 years and the cancer is clearly from contact with carcinogenic flux. Scial services are providing hospice care. Bill is talking of future plans and is not confronting the diagnosis that hospice carries. he is in constant pain now.

I am worried for my sister. She is pretty much on her own and has in the last 6 years established her own small business. She has done well enough to support herself but not well enough to have savings or a staff. She knows she needs to continue working to keep a roof over their heads and also (I will say this for her) to assure that she has a future after this.

The emotions of trying to stay positive for Bill, the contradiction of his talking of the future while she hears the doctor negative diagnosis, the anguish of seeing the person she loves in pain and slipping away from her, the stress of dealing with his family who are still so new to her, the financial and work stress...all of this I know is overwhelming her. She is also herself still being treated for lymne disease.

So I know she needs help and advice from people who have been cancer cargivers. I can offer support and some advice but know that I cannot walk in her shoes.

Since I know that this forum saved my sanity and life many times during the years I cared for Dad, I am hoping that some on this board may have a referral to a forum for cancer caregivers. (Joan was not able to help much with Dad and so I think visiting this Alz forum would be difficult for her.)

Again, I hope some of you may be able to give me some links to send to her.

Thank you for the links. The first one in particular. I think it will help my sister. And it gave me quite a bit of information so that I can understand what she is going through. I knew I could count on this forum! Bless you.

Hi, Suzanne,
This is devastating for your sister, especially with such a bleak outcome. I guess her husband can deny all he wants to, but he should follow the hospice pain management for his own comfort.

There are some links to fill your request ... here are some:

http://www.cancer-pain.org/speak/cgforum.html

http://www.theblackriver.net/mmsurvey/patientlist.html

http://www.meds.com/cancerlinks.html

http://www.legacyofhope.org/

http://cancer.gov/