Hello out there in caregiver land...
Dad died Monday night after a long illness, Mom's dementia flipped from early stage to raging maniac last week. Hoped it was just the stress from watching her husband of 58 years slipping away. She started on Seraquel last week, first 25mg once a day, then 3 times a day for the last 3 days. Today, my doc said she should only be on twice a day. So I skipped a dose and she went off like a rocket. I gave her the third dose an hour ago and she's back to her old self. Dad's memorial service is next Thursday. Just trying to get her through it without an incident. She thinks I'm deceiving her. Especially where meds and her car are concerned. We did disable her car. We tried to explain to her why its unsafe to drive. The more we talked, the more po'd she got. I'm quite sure she's gonna haul off and belt one of us before long. I'm heartbroken, as her daughter and best friend. Thank God we have recently found an awesome caregiver who my mom fell in love with. She is on vacation, and doesn't even know that dad's gone yet. But we'll get her back after the funeral. Looking for lots of prayers and support.
Kathleen

Oh baby your welcome Im juss doin what I do best... tryin to git a smile goin! Hey I got my fingers crossed that the trials produce something for ya!
Now whatcha gonna do?....Come on lift that corner....now lift the udder one...come on its not that heavy!!!! I wanna see squidgy lines around those eyes!!! Seeee there it is!! A smile!

Hey Bgl
thanks for the cool thoughts. That picture looks yummy. This too shall pass. Calling docs tomorrow to see what's up re: clinical trial schedule and go from there. Each day a new adventure
Attitude is everything
k

Yikes Baby 115?! Oh! wheres the ice?! Wheres the ice cream wheres the Coca cola ARGGGH!
I used to live in LA @110-113 everyday in the summer in my backyard I feel your pain! And poor hunny! A cold in this heat how miserable! I happen to agree with you rent a daggum RV and travel! lol to cooler places! Im sendin cool thoughts to ya right now!

Hey! I just peeked in on her and she is awake. She had a bad dream, but she's okay and she's going to get up Let's see what the night brings!
take care
kathleen

Hey bgrl
It's 115 outside and i've been housebound for a couple of days. mama still sleeping 18 hours and so woozy and confused when she is awake. I'm tweekin' her meds this weekend. She actually got up and read the paper at 10:45am. She lasted until 12:30 before going back to bed for a "20 minute nap" That was 3 hours ago. Hubby is home with me today so that helps. He's down with a cold, but just having him in the house makes it less lonely. Also had a financial meeting with family. Don't know how long we'll be able to hold onto caregiver. As it is she is only here from 4-8 in the evening, but we love her and boy can she cook. Part of me just wants to rent an RV, put mom in the bed in the back and wake her up whenever we get to a cool site starting with the Grand Canyon. That way she can still get her sleep, but get out of the house without the heat bowling her over. My husband is gone from 4 am until 5pm every day and then he's pretty wiped out. Oooo poor pitiful me Thanks for being out there. Feeling better just writing about it.
kathleen

quote:

Originally posted by Kathleen M:
Feeling lonely and isolated. Any suggestions?
Kathleen

Oh Sweetie whats goin on there?? Need someone to talk to? Hollar back Im online sweetie

Feeling lonely and isolated. Any suggestions?
Kathleen

Thanks for input girls. My mom is far from being bedfast at this time. She seems to be coming out of shock from dad's death. Tonight she was sharing with me how sad and lonely she is without him and how lost she feels. She knows she had episodes of rage and she feels bad that she lashed out. She wants to get out more and we are going to senior center tomorrow. She feels guilty that she is a "burden" on me. I reassured her that she is not a burden, and that if we hadn't moved down here from Chicago 2 years ago, I'd have been sick with worry being so far away. She is quite often feeling better when she gets around other people. Tomorrow is another day. I hope we all get a good nights sleep. I hope you girls do too!
Night-nights!
kathleen

Kathleen,
Bedfast just means that a person can no longer get in or out of bed by themselves and pretty much have to stay in the bed. My mom cannot walk and can no longer control any of her movements. She cannot even turn over in the bed anymore. She has one arm and leg on the left side that is contracted. That means the muscles have loss their abiltiy to move and are drawn up in a position that they stay in all the time even when she is up in a chair ...which I do get her up in because it is not good for folks to lay in the bed all the time. It causes pnuemonia and bed sores to be much more likely.

Well lets just hope I dont lose another post today! Sorry Kath Im grumpy lost sleep, lost post, anythin else Im gonna hit sumfin!
Juss kiddin! The sleep patterns have been an issue in this house for a while and no matter what I try the end result is the same, aggitation lashing out (what else is new ) I just hope for your sake it never gets too bad in your house My MIL does that thinkin thing too not a good thing for us here that means shes either gonna go through a bout of depression or lash out at the next thing that walks into view so be careful there baby!

Gabcan and Bunnysgrl,
Interesting to see you talking about sleep patterns. My mom did not sleep a wink last night and that was after she took her meds and 2 glasses of wine! She would never have been able to do that back in the day...She wasn't upset. Just awake in her bed "thinking". That happened twice this week. The other nights she still slept for 18 hours. Gabcan-what does "bedfast" mean? I'm still learning, one day at a time. She hasn't had an anger episode all week, but she came close last night...whew!
Kathleen

Gabgan, I figured that but it was worth the try right?! Even on tylenol pm she was up all night (how I havent a clue, I tried it once and slept a full 8 like the dead!) I took her off the caffiene and all was pretty quiet around here for almost 3 weeks (up all night though) but now shes going back to the yelling out and everything that goes with it. The need for alertness in the evening for their safety is one thing but the wakefullness is what makes them so cranky and apt to have hallucinations, yelling ect. Ahhh dont mind me I guess Im just trying to make things a little better for hunny is all. I can handle this...Him not so good...hes on the denial train to parts unknown...

Bunny's girl,
My dr would not give mom a sleep aid because he said too many old folks on them would get up in the night and fall. So we just had to use old fashioned things like herbal teas and no caffen and such. I tell you when she had her wake times it was impossible to keep her happy. I finally just put the tv on and told her to enjoy and went to bed...she was pretty good about staying in bed most of the time. I used to think it was sad that I spent time I could be spending with her sleeping but I am not a night person and I just could not keep her schedule.
Mom still has these wake and sleep periods but they are shorter now than they used to be and since she is bedfast she can't get up and get into anything. I leave her tv on in case she does need it for company. I also feel guilty about her not having a person with her when she is awake but I can't fix everything. God love her she is not "with us" much anymore ...she is in some far off land that I guess she enjoys ...she often has a smile on her face anyway.

Thanks for input SnowyLynne. Dr. is aware of mom's sleeping and eating patterns. Hopefully with change in meds and some more healing time she'll be up more. Depression over the loss of my dad is key in our circumstance. Today was a wonderful day. She ate every bit of dinner and had a most interesting conversation. Thanks for your support BG Yes, my bro and sil were Very happy to see us come home. We are soooo grateful for the break. I'll keep you updated on doc appt.
kathleen

Ah hah! Welcome back Kathleen! Glad to hear a good time was had!! I bet your brother and SIL are very happy to see you though. And dont wonder too much about her behavior it goes along with the territory, they are usually a little more emotional around their permanent cg's and act like angels around newbies for sure. Good luck tomorrow at the appointment.

Kathleen she NEEDS to eat & not just take her meds.Keepingher hydrated also.

Hello fellow caregivers!
Just got back from a wonderful vacation in Chicagoland. I am refreshed and ready to get back in the swing of things. Mom did pretty well while my bro and sis-in-law were here. Makes me wonder if it's just me that p's her off. Oh well. She did kiss me when I came in and asked if I had a good time. She's been on this awesome schedule. Sleeps from midnight until 3pm. We only wake her for meds. However, we visit Dr. Reyes, Alzheimer's specialist tomorrow and she will begin treatment as part of a clinical trial. Things could get rocky...or...maybe...they'll get a little better...(I like to fantasize about such things). One day at a time. Hope you are all taking care of yourselves as well as your loved ones.
Kathleen

Oh Gabgan...Ya know she does the stayin up right now which gets her cranky and depressed. Hell it would do me in! Would it be out of line for me to ask her doc for a sleep aide for this problem or should I just let it go? I cant imagine this does anyone any good to have only short naps for days on end???

Hey Kath I did my job then! Laughter is definately the best medicine! A good day for me would be....Ahhh a massage boy, a pool boy, a bartender, and Keith urban singin "Rainin on Sunday" to me! Woops did I fergit my hunny?! LOL! Ok so hunny is sittin on the sidelines watchin me finally enjoyin myself there I said it! And bein too young to have grandkids?! Never! You'll be the finest one at graduation time! Bet ya didnt think of dat!