your pictures came through loud and clear! great job! my favorites are the lamps, especially the floor one and i loved the ant, just loved it! what a unique way to combine natural elements! keep it up. if NM were not so far you would have a customer for sure the recipients of your work should be very honored! keep it up. i have just the place for the floor lamp and a person on my christmas list who would love the tray candle holder and the one on the fireplace. you have a creative talent. add new pictures when you get them.

Ok guys,

I have posted some pictures of my new craft. I don't know how to access them. Maybe you do. There are 9 pictures and it said something about having to have "Flash Player" to view the slideshow. Again, I don't know how it works but they are on the forum SOMEWHERE.

Billy G.

Thanks Bobcat,

I'll try it and see how it works out. Most all my pictures are already on my "puter" except for the most recent ones which I haven't downloaded yet. I'll get those on and then maybe upload a few to give you some ideas of what I do.

I guess I'll give it a shot and see what happens.

Billy G.

Billy, the good people here taught me how to use Photo bucket, and they have probably been sorry since, I have had a lot of fun with it. It will take a digital camera that will load to your computor, or a scanner to copy photos to save to a file. Then you can post them or put them in a photo bucket file that is free for basics and post them from there.. That is not a good explaination. Alot of this info, is in the "about our community" room. Or Since I am not good explaining this, MB and BG helped me through it and I will try to to better to help you. To start, you either have to have a camera that can download pics to the putor, or a scanner.

All of us would love to see your work. Others will jump in to help where I fall short.

If anyone can tell me how to post pictures I would be more than happy to. I like to share.

Some may not like my work but maybe some would. Most times I get "that is good but, could you do ........? To me that means they really don't like MY art, they only want special stuff and think I should be able to do it. I have one guy asking for an eagles head. What do I know about making an eagles head out of welded steel? I have an idea in my head but whether I can accomplish it or not remains to be seen. I told him I would try it but it may not turn out so good. Just have to see.

So far I have not sold anything I have just given it away. Maybe one day I will sell something.

Billy G.

Billy, most of us call her Hap. Solves a lot of problems, she will answer to Hap.
If you ever get an on line portfolio going, I would love to see it. Your work is of great interest to me.

Hey Bobcat, thanks for the contact. I appreciate your thoughts. So far I am doing ok. I am just trying to get accustomed to being "retireded" again. Now my problem is controlling my spending. I went to Harbor Freight today and reallllly had to keep from buying a couple new tools. I may get them anyway but will have to wait until next month.

How are you doing? Everything going ok for you?

Billy G.

Thanks FD&H.

Personally, I think you need a new online name. I for one, am uncomfortable referring to you as such. That is why I use initials.

Anyway, the metal craft that I do are things like lamps, vases for fake flowers, candelholders and yard art. I have several pictures I can share if you want. Just contact me outside this forum.

The reason I claim to be a "Jackass er.... Jack of all trades" is because, until recently, I have always done my own work on vehicles, home electrical, plumbing, construction or whatever. I am too cheap to pay for someone to do what I can do myself. I am an artist of sorts and an engineer by profession. So, if I can see something in my mind I can pretty much build it with my hands, provided I have the tools or materials to do it with.

I have always liked to draw and took some art classes in college. Then in 1982 my wife signed me up for some painting classes here locally. I then started painting canvases of landscapes and southwestern style art. However, in 1996 I lost my motivation and haven't gotten it back yet. So as a replacement I taught myself how to weld last year and have started creating with that medium. I also have bought an airbrush and have tried my hand at that. I thought it would be cool to do some body painting but, so far no volunteers. Therefore, I decided I could use it to paint my yard-art objects. At this time I have made an ant using river rocks and metal and I am currently finishing a hummingbird and flower. The hummingbird is made from a metal cut-out with attached wings. The flower I am making from the shell of an old waterheater. I cut the individual petals out and have welded them to a bolt for the main body part. Maybe I will finish that this week and get the bird painted using my airbrush. Next, a friend wants me to do an eagle head. I don't know if I can or not but thought I would give it a shot. If it comes out the way I see it in my mind he may not want to pay my price for it. So obviosely, I won't get paid for my time or creation. I'll have to charge something though just to cover some of the cost of my tools, electricity and other materials.

Sorry all, here I go blabbing again. Once, I get started it is hard to get stopped.

Hope all is well with everyone.

Billy G.

Hi Billy, just saw your name up there and thought I'ld let you know, that I think about you. How is it going.. I ' m sure nothing is easy.

billy g. hi. how was today? i hope you have some luck with ronni's food intake this weekend. what kind of a job did you get layed off from. i feel for you for that. i am intrigued by you mention of metal sculpture. i have been collecting some pieces from the eames era and the artisan house. what do you do with metal? hope it cools down enough to do more soon. you are a self proclaimed jack of all trades so i think you will find something new you like when you are ready.one thing at a time. god bless and i hope you have a quiet time to reflect on you and ronni's life together. happy birthday to ronni and may you find thanks in the 40 years together. god bless!

Thanks Ladies,

I am still trying to recoop from the layoff but I guess I will get through it.

It is hard to imagine that this woman and I have been together 40 years. I just wish she were aware of it. We have always celebrated our anniversaries except for last year and this one. Last year I went out with my kids and paid for dinner. This year I may just go out by myself and celebrate alone. It is nice to have the kids around sometimes but this year I feel like being alone so we'll see how it goes.

Well, everything has been going ok for the last few days. The caregiver said that Ronni has been throwing up her food (ensure) lately however, when I feed her I don't experience it so I am thinking it is realted to the way she is feeding Ronni. I will have the responsibility this weekend so we'll see how I do.

How's thing going out there with everyone? I haven't been keeping up. I'm sorry. I check my email several times a day but I haven't been visiting the forum.

Billy G.

Oh Billy (((Hugs))) you have had a bad few weeks, thats an understatement! Lets hope things calm down for you a bit. I hope mom is on the mend as well as Ronni.
I know you dont feel much like celebrating but please put that smile on and do it appreciate and validate it sweetie its all we got left, pull out the memories and tell that beautiful wife of yours Happy Anniversary and Happy Birthday from us to her

billy g, hi. i can't imagine a worse couple of weeks. hopefully you will hit a smooth stretch for awhile to recoup. nothing uplifts the spirit like hanging out with a youngster. hope you get the experience again soon. i'm sorry ronni has had a rough go of it lately. i pray that also goes better. take care and keep in touch.

Hi guys,

Bobcat, I'm sorry I just now read your post. Yes, it was great to have a kid around that I could have fun with. I wish she were here now.

I have had a few bad weeks. First, my favorite aunt died, then my mother fell and broke a few bones as well as having some stitches and just last Sunday a dear friend died. He had a massive strokes while on a road trip and never recovered. I just had dinner with him and his wife a couple weeks ago. They have been true friends throughout this whole affair with Ronni. I will miss him. I also got laid off from my job that I have had for the last year and 1/2. So needless to say, things haven't been so good lately.

Ronni hasn't been doing too well either over the last few weeks. She suffered from some infections and was having a bad upset stomach. She has somewhat straightened out now but still isn't up to par. However, with this disease I suppose setbacks are expected. All I can do is take it a day at a time.

I am occupying my time with running errands and my craft welding. It is pretty hot during the day so I can't do a lot until late afternoon when my driveway is shaded. So I spend a lot of time in the house under the air conditioner, which I hate. I can't wait for fall and winter to get here.

Monday will be our 40th wedding anniversary. It is too bad Ronni won't even know it. Sunday is her birthday and of course, she won't know that either.

Well, I hope all have a good one.

Billy G.

Billy, sorry to hear about Ronni, but glad you got to see her smile again, even if you aren't sure it was for you. You still saw her smile. I happen to be sure it was for you.

What a great kid you have had time with. Your own grandchildren will be grown enough to enjoy you, and you, them soon. Hang in there.

It is wonderful that the situation is such with CG, that she can bring her granddaughter with her, to share you, and to share her..

Hi group,

Thought I would take a few minutes to write a little. Maybe an update.

Ronni has been having a few bouts with pre-seizures. I don't know how else to explain them. She acts like she is going to have one but then we, the caregiver and I, have been able to stave it off. She is loosing ground though. Most times she acts like she does not know much of anything. However, the other day I walked in and said hi to her and she gave me a big smile, as best she could. I hadn't been in there for a time so I don't know if she thought I was someone new or if it was because she hadn't seen me for awhile. Most times she doesn't seem to know who I am. And a lot of the time she doesn't even look at me. It is also getting to be a little harder to get her to eat, or I should say drink because all she lives on is Ensure. When we try to feed her she spits a lot of it out. I can't tell for sure if she is fogetting how to eat or she is just tired of the same old thing day after day.

The caregiver's granddaughter has been here for a few weeks. I have really enjoyed having her here. She doesn't have a grandfather so she has adopted me and I have had a grand time being a grandpa to her. She is 9 years old and we have done a lot of things together. We went to the fireworks display for the 4th, we've gone shopping, to the park, etc. This last Sunday we went to my property in the mountains. She seemed to enjoy it. I had to dig a couple postholes because my gate was falling down. She jumped right in and started digging the holes with the posthole digger. It is almost as big as she is but she figured out a way to use it. She did a great job, considering. She couldn't jam the diggers into the ground so she would just jump on them with her little weight. At least the gound was somewhat soft enough she could get a little dirt out afterward. As we were coming out through the National Forest we saw some deer. That made the day. It was a good day. I was tired, sweaty and dirty but still enjoyed the day. It is going to be really hard to see her go back home. I said she could stay for the summer but her dad is missing her also. I think she ill stay one more week after this but then will leave. I don't know what I will do then but, I'll have to get over it. I hope one day I will be able to spend that kind of time with my own grandkids. Right now I don't see them much. My granddaughter won't have anything to do with me until I have been around her for a few hours and my grandson is only two months old so he isn't much for having a bunch of fun with other than holding him and trying to get him to laugh. Maybe some day though I can enjoy them.

Well I hope all are having a good week. Talk again another time.

Billy G.

Opps! Me again. Thanks for the comback Mariabee.

Women seem to have friends, men not so much. Really, the only friends I do have are female. I can't say I could truly rely on them but then I have never asked. I feel a little strange asking for help so maybe that is why I don't have many friends that I would consider as true friends. Most the men I know are all married and have their own individual lives with their family and jobs. They don't have time to hang out with me. So when I need to do something I just us my mind and figure out how to do everything alone. Just like when I cut my tree down in the back yard I had to work out a bunch of ropes and pulleys to make sure the limbs, etc fell in the right location and directions. I did miscalculate on one and dropped it in my neighbors yard but I was able to retreive it since I still had a rope tied to it. My wife use to help me with all these things but now she isn't avaiable so I have to work out my own way.

Most the friends we had as a couple were her friends and since she isn't able to be a friend to them they have pretty much disappeared. The so-called fair weather friends. Oh well, I have pretty much been alone since high school anyway. The only friend I have had throughout has been my wife, now it is just me. Oh well.

"Woe is me". Here I go again so I will quit.

Before I go I will mention that Ronni had another seizure this evening. I went in to give her the evening meal and she was wide-eyed and was jerking. I knew it was coming and I tried everything I could to try and get her to relax hoping it wouldn't happen but it did anyway. Just another day in the life. She seems to be having them about every two to three weeks. Unfortunately, they will probably become even more frequent as the disease progresses.

Have a good week.

Billy G.

quote:

It is suppose to be a means to get advice about how to deal with hard life situations and all I do is talk about myself.

Billy! Please don't ever feel you have to apologize for anything here! Besides, "talking about ourselves" is what we all do---this is how we learn from one another!

Your life is like a window for us. It allows us to see possibilities beyond our own present situations. And our experiences act in the same way for you. We learn how things could be made better or become worse. We learn how others are coping and planning. We learn SOO much---and that would not be possible if we did not talk about ourselves and our loved-ones!

quote:

"I have a lot of acquaintenances but few friends."

I think there probably are a lot of us like this. As I mentioned, I am a fairly shy person, so it seems I've always had only one or two real friends. Sometimes it is the caregiving that whittles down the number of friendships we have (or are able to maintain)---but regardless, the couple of true friends I have are treasures! They are worth more than all of the aquantances in the world. I sincerely hope yours are real gems, too, you certainly deserve them!

Hey bobcat, good to hear from you again. Yeah, they do have dance lessons on Wednesday nights but I am not out then. However, I guess I could some night just to try and learn a few new steps. As far as stretching I did, however, I am so out of shape it didn't help much. But I am ok today. I am still a little sore and tender but doing a lot better.

Maria,

If your ever out and want to dance I am there for you. I love to dance also but I am just having a hard time since I haven't been out there in such a long time plus about the only person I have danced with for the last thirty + years is my wife so it is very difficult to dance with a stranger. It is especially hard since the style of dance has changed so much. In my day the "line dance" was the "Virginia Reel",etc and of course the "slide". They don't do line dancing here but so much of the style is like the change related to the line dancing. It is hard to learn if you haven't been in on the start.

I have to appologize to you Maria and to all others in this forum. It is suppose to be a means to get advice about how to deal with hard life situations and all I do is talk about myself. However, I have gotten a lot from the others here and do appreciate all that has been said. I have found that though I have felt I was the only one dealing with this I have found that it isn't so. The people in this forum are extremely caring and giving. I have learned so much about coping. I don't necessarily take the advice to heart but I do appreciate the love with which it is given. Yet, there is a lot of good advice and it certainly has helped.

I know it may sound selfish on my part but I have done my morning and I know my wife is going to die. Only God knows when. My job, at this time is to make sure she is comfortable and well taken care of, whether I do it or someone else does. I also believe that her place is here in her home. I know I am somewhat younger than many spouses that are trying to take care of their loved ones but not all. I also know it is difficult for some to take care of their loved one in their home because of their age. It has been my choice for two reasons, one, because it is her home and I felt she would be so much more comfortable here and two, because we aren't low income and she isn't over 65 so we cannot qualify for financial assistance. Believe me, I have tried.

She is in bed 24/7 and most times doesn't seem to know much of what is going on. She does look at me or my caregiver sometimes when we are with her and sometimes she seems to know what is going on or being said but a lot of times she just lays there staring off into space. So, I therefore just get on with my life and spend as much time as I feel is appropriate with her. I take care of her most evenings and the weekends. I am off from my job and from my responsibility on Thursdays. That is the day I run errands, play golf, go to dinner and then to dance. Saturday evenings I just get to go listen to music from 7 to 10 pm. My caregiver then just has to give her the last feeding and then I change her and settle her in for the night when I get back. Otherwise I am home all weekend unless I make prior arrangements and pay extra for the extra time.

For those of you trying to take care of your loved one at home. If you can't get the financial support for a facility then the live-in is the only way to go. Granted everyone will try and tell you that the person has to be certified, etc but, from my take, the person just has to be a caring person and can follow schedules. Sure they may have to administer medications but if you can do it so can they. None of us do more than what the directions say so what is the big deal.

Ok, I have added my two cents worth so will shut up for now.

Maria, thank you so much for your kind words. I do try to enjoy life and I do enjoy people however, I really don't have many friends. As one friend did say once "I have a lot of acquaintenances but few friends." I think they are friends but when it comes to needing them they are not there. So, I have learned to just rely on myself. I certainly hope others aren't in the same boat. It gets very lonely but I have learned to accept it and get on with my life. Even my caregiver spends most all her time in her room watching TV so I don't even have her to talk with most the time. We do talk occasionaly but usually only when she has some crises to deal with, the rest of the time she is in her room. Oh well, life goes on, right?

Hope all have a great week. Until next time, God bless.

Billy G.

Gracious sakes, Billy! I'm so glad that you didn't injure yourself terribly! You are far braver than I am---but then again, I KNOW I'd have been killed in that mud pit ...does sound like a hoot, though

I've been meaning to reply to your posts for a long time now. I'm really sorry that I haven't until now. It's just that every time I read what you've written I feel so deeply for you and your wife and the situation you are in, I tear up and I can't find the right words to say.

You sound like such a fun man, Billy. I wish I had been out some of those times you went dancing. I love to dance so much! We'd have had a great time!!

I really feel for you with regard to the matter of trying to get out and meet people. I am shy to begin with---and then, having been married for so long, whew! I would have been SO uncomfortable, too!

Anyway, Billy, you have so much love and life in you. It shines through in every word you write---it has to be evident when folks meet you! Please try not to worry about things like your age, because that makes up the least part of who you are. Just keep trying to live your life as fully as you are. You are such an inspiration, and certainly a person that everyone would love to be around!

blessings,
maria