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Senior Member
Picture of bitteroldhag
Posted
Mother is in the hospital at the moment getting over a bladder infection, but her doctor told me that she is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. I am terrified. I don't know what to do. The doctor said the family often doesn't notice until the person burns down the house or escapes in the middle of the night. Mother can't walk so she can't escape, but she can burn down the house. How will I know when to put her in a nursing home? My aunt had Alzheimer's for about 10 years before she finally died. It was awful. She left pans on the stove until they started burning and finally wandered around a night so my cousin put her in the nursing home. My aunt, who was the soul of kindness, went through the combative stage and got in a fight with another lady at the nursing home. She fell and broke her hip and was bedfast from them on. She did some outlandish things. In fact, she was completely nuts. I can't bear the idea of my very intelligent mother being like this. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
 
Posts: 237 | Location: Oklahoma | Registered: April 13, 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Senior Member
Picture of Bunnys_grl
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quote:
Originally posted by bitteroldhag:
I'm really worried about the finances. Any advice?


Get in contact with a Medical Social Worker BOH ask her PCP there should be one on moms case now and he/she will take a look at all your finances/insurance and try and come up with a plan of action for you Wink


**********************************************
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.
 
Posts: 4662 | Registered: February 07, 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Moms_Buddy:
quote:
I am terrified. I don't know what to do... I can't bear the idea of my very intelligent mother being like this. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

So sorry, BOH.

Sigh...
The first thing I did when I suspected that something was wrong was to get Mom an in-patient geriatric psych evaluation so we could determine what we were lookin' at, where she was at with the progression of her disease and what we could do for her. Then we went about living the best way we could under the circumstances.

During the first year, I grieved a lot for my wonderful mother, who was slowly melting in front of my eyes. I also worried a lot - would this be my fate also? My sister's fate? I asked a lot of questions that have no answers, but I asked 'em anyway...

In the end, both medically and personally, I have tried my best to love her with all my heart and do what I can to help her go through this last stage of life as comfortably as possible. That's all any of us can do and it never quite feels like enough... but it's all that can be done.

quote:
Mother can't walk so she can't escape, but she can burn down the house. How will I know when to put her in a nursing home?

Cooking and unsupervised activities other than reading and sleeping will gradually go the way of the Edsel. She will eventually need a sitter or someone to be with her all the time. You will know when she needs to be in a nursing home when you can no longer adequately care for her. Some folks can be cared for at home until they breathe their last; others cannot. It just depends on the individual. Your mother may not behave the same way that your aunt behaved, or she might behave worse. Just depends on where and how severely her brain is damaged...

As my great-gramma used to say, don't borrow trouble. Deal with the difficulties she is having NOW. If she is in the early stages, medications may stall and diminish the progress of the disease somewhat. Get the evaluations done so that you know what you are dealing with. There's no timetable, no guarantees. Just do the best you can - remember to kiss her goodnight every night, hug her every chance you get and never miss an opportunity to laugh together.


MB -- Thanks for that wonderful hug. I will try what you all suggest since you know a lot more than I do about this. I will speak to the doctor about the drugs. Mother is still pretty sane though she couldn't remember George Bush's name today. However, she remembered that he was from Texas and that his daddy was President and that he has a ranch in Texas. I thought that was pretty good. She also knew what year it is though she didn't know the day. I didn't know the day either and had to hurry home to hand out Halloween candy. I had more trick or treaters than usual and was worried I would run out of candy. They were nearly all Indian kids and were so cute. One was dressed as a poodle. She was darling. I just love Halloween.
 
Posts: 237 | Location: Oklahoma | Registered: April 13, 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Picture of bitteroldhag
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quote:
Originally posted by SnowyLynne:
The medications do work.I've been on Razadyne for 5 yrs.& before that Aricept for 4 yrs.I'm still kickin'.Having a positive attitude regardless DOES HELP!


You are wonderful. We will try these medications before we do anything extreme.
 
Posts: 237 | Location: Oklahoma | Registered: April 13, 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Thank you all for the advice. I was melting down about this. I told Mother today that the doc thinks she should be in a nursing home. She said she'd been telling me that for months, but it was because she didn't want to be a burden for me. I think the doc may be giving me the worst case scenario and I'm not sending her to the nursing home straight from the hospital. We need time to arrange things and see what we want to do. I will not send her against her will. But she will probably have a wonderful time there since she is very outgoing and makes friends easily. She's bored as hell at home. What I'm really worried about is the financial strain that my brother and I will have. We think her nursing home insurance and social security will cover most of the regular costs, but the nursing home insists on using their own medicine and that could add up really fast. We figure that if we get away with less than $1000 a month, we will be lucky. We can't afford much more than that since we both have loans to pay off and regular bills. I'm really worried about the finances. Any advice?
 
Posts: 237 | Location: Oklahoma | Registered: April 13, 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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The medications do work.I've been on Razadyne for 5 yrs.& before that Aricept for 4 yrs.I'm still kickin'.Having a positive attitude regardless DOES HELP!


Lynne
 
Posts: 713 | Location: Iowa Park,Tx | Registered: March 08, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Picture of Bunnys_grl
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BOH (((hugs))) Ditto on what MB said here...I know your scared but as MB's g gramma said "Dont borrow trouble"... Enjoy the time, its all any of us can do...I dont even think of the diagnosis much anymore (kinda strange maybe I dont know) I just keep caring and being my usual supportive self as if nothing else matters because I dont know what tomorrow will bring and really who does...tomorrow may or may not come for any one of us so we must live each and everyday to the fullest irreguardless of a diagnosis....Breath love....smile even if its not how you feel inside.... Smile


**********************************************
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.
 
Posts: 4662 | Registered: February 07, 2006Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Senior Member
Picture of Moms_Buddy
Posted Hide Post
quote:
I am terrified. I don't know what to do... I can't bear the idea of my very intelligent mother being like this. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

So sorry, BOH.

Sigh...
The first thing I did when I suspected that something was wrong was to get Mom an in-patient geriatric psych evaluation so we could determine what we were lookin' at, where she was at with the progression of her disease and what we could do for her. Then we went about living the best way we could under the circumstances.

During the first year, I grieved a lot for my wonderful mother, who was slowly melting in front of my eyes. I also worried a lot - would this be my fate also? My sister's fate? I asked a lot of questions that have no answers, but I asked 'em anyway...

In the end, both medically and personally, I have tried my best to love her with all my heart and do what I can to help her go through this last stage of life as comfortably as possible. That's all any of us can do and it never quite feels like enough... but it's all that can be done.

quote:
Mother can't walk so she can't escape, but she can burn down the house. How will I know when to put her in a nursing home?

Cooking and unsupervised activities other than reading and sleeping will gradually go the way of the Edsel. She will eventually need a sitter or someone to be with her all the time. You will know when she needs to be in a nursing home when you can no longer adequately care for her. Some folks can be cared for at home until they breathe their last; others cannot. It just depends on the individual. Your mother may not behave the same way that your aunt behaved, or she might behave worse. Just depends on where and how severely her brain is damaged...

As my great-gramma used to say, don't borrow trouble. Deal with the difficulties she is having NOW. If she is in the early stages, medications may stall and diminish the progress of the disease somewhat. Get the evaluations done so that you know what you are dealing with. There's no timetable, no guarantees. Just do the best you can - remember to kiss her goodnight every night, hug her every chance you get and never miss an opportunity to laugh together.




"She ain't heavy; she's my mother."
 
Posts: 3056 | Location: SE LA | Registered: August 12, 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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