Hello All,

We are preparing to introduce Mom to her new bedside potty chair. We can't deal with her using the bathroom anymore. Any time she uses the guest bath, it has to be cleaned. We feel like prisoners in our home because we haven't been able to invite family/friends over. We only have the one guest bath.

Does anyone have any advice about how to introduce it? Or how to 'manage' it? We're planning on putting plastic or perhaps a vinyl tablecloth under it and probably up the nearby wall 3 or 4 feet.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Hello Denise I have to agree with everyones assessment here if MOM is becoming lax in her cleanliness then it is up to you to assist her.
It sounds to me like she may be suffering some deficits in her thinking or she has sight issues...in either case you are going to have to help her because a BSC IS dangerous to be left alone with I can attest to that with my MIL.
I allowed her to use one for a while, well one night I hear a big thud and scream and find her laying up against a wall BSC contents ALL over my nice rug.....
Now call me crazy but Id rather be cleaning a hard surface rather than wood or rug cause once it is in there its dang hard to get out.....

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We're planning on putting plastic or perhaps a vinyl tablecloth under it and probably up the nearby wall 3 or 4 feet.

Hello and welcome, Denise. I think what you are planning will increase the dangers of tripping or slipping and I share all the concerns MB has expressed. Like Gypsy, I believe that if we knew something about your mother's condition we could help you with a better idea.

The need to get up and go to the bathroom is often a great motivater for moving around a bit and that is very important. I would love it if Mom could still get to the bathroom instead of using the bedside. But the bathroom available is so small it is impossible to give her the assistance she needs in there anymore. To her, the bedside is another depressing sign of her age and increasing disability. It can be humiliating to NOT go to a real bathroom and there is the handwashing that should follow toileting. Will your mother feel like she is being isolated or punished for her problems? That really is a concern even when dementia is evident. Depression and isolation is a major issue for the elderly.

MB is right that most of us with an elder at home eventually will be assisting them with toileting. That is often the cut off point for home care. It sounds like you are able and willing to clean behind her. A lot less of that may be needed if you can assist her when she makes her trips.

Hi Denise and welcome to ECO. I have to agree with MB. re not using the commode at bedside unless absolutely necessary. What worked for us(I was my hubby's CG for over 10 years)was a rolling commode/raised toilet. When he first came home and for a year or so before he passed he used a rolling one-stood at his pole at the bed, got on the commode and was rolled to the bathroom over the toilet. Once he learned to walk he walked to the bathroom, turned and backed up to the toilet, I (or the HS worker) pulled his pants down, he sat-the advantage of the rolling commode was you could pull it a little forward so you could easily wipe.When he was walking we had one that fit over the toilet but not on wheels-more stable. I use that one over the toilet now as it isn't as far down The ones I have had came with both a bucket and a collar thing to use over the toilet-actually a bucket with the bottom out. The rolling one had to have the collar thing shorter so it would go over the seat-with that one sometimes you had a bit of an accident esp. with a male sitting. I find if I am out I prefer to use the handicapped toilets because they are higher. If you share your Mom's condition maybe someone will have more suggestions.

Hi Denise... and welcome to ECO. Could you be a little more specific as to the problem of using the bathroom? People should not use bedside commodes unless they are physically unable to get to the bathroom. If they are physically unable to get to the bathroom, chances are, they need supervision to assist with the bedside commode. Sounds to me like you will be simply moving the mess from the bathroom (where it belongs!) to the bedroom where it will be more difficult to clean!

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Any time she uses the guest bath, it has to be cleaned. We feel like prisoners in our home because we haven't been able to invite family/friends over. We only have the one guest bath.

When people begin making messes when toileting, this is an indication that they need assistance. It is a VERY common issue. Because a bedside commode is MUCH less secure than permanent fixtures in a bathroom, it presents a safety issue which cannot be ignored. Moving the toileting area will NOT help contain the mess unwittingly made by a person who needs assistance.

I cared for my mom in a home with 5 people using a single bathroom. When Mom became unable to handle things neatly, I assisted her - at home and when we were in public or visiting in someone else's home. It isn't "fun" duty, but someone has to do it! If no one in your family is willing to assist your mom with toileting, perhaps it's time to look into a different residential situation for her where such assistance IS available.

As far as having guests over, if they are coming to see YOU, they will have to understand that the guest bathroom is sometimes not perfect, or you can direct them to another bathroom which is more pristine. It depends upon whether your focus is on caring for an elderly parent who is losing their ability to care for themselves or whether the focus is on how the house looks/smells.

Home caregiving is NOT for everyone, so weigh this situation carefully. As people's abilities decline, the amount of effort and assistance needed grows and may not be something you can or are willing to do in your home.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Moms_Buddy,