After reading some of the posts,I began to feel as if I can share my situation as so many of you have. Three months ago my husband I brought my Mom (86)home to live and share our lives. She had been living in an independent living facility in another town. My sister lived there, but my Mom just didn't seem happy. My childhood was not a pretty one, but I want all of that to be in the past and give to her a comfortable and safe place to be now. I want to have a tender heart toward her. I am so tired and have found my Mom to be so much worse and declining. I am struggling with the past and trying to be a great daughter to her now. I am sad that I am not a better person. I want to be everything she needs now. Gosh this note is filled with lots of "I" and whining ... sorry. I feel alone and frustrated right now. Mostly tired .........

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Snugcare,

It sounds like AD and yes the more tired she gets the more her behaviors progress its called Sundowning.
Usually happens in the latter afternoon hours thru the evening.
The belligerence is even understandable simply because they really do realize there are deficits in their thinking.
The worse it gets and others like yourself are realizing somethings wrong they get defensive so what you have to do is act as if its normal ignore the confusion because the more you highlight the behavior to them the more agitated they become.
Allow her to help you in your tasks so she can mimic you its impossible for her to learn tasks or retain information but they can and do mimic.
Give her towels to fold socks to put together allow her to prep dinner with you if she wants most important is keep her moving and not just sit in front of the news all day long thats enough to depress this kid here lol
If animals do it for her kudos I love animals for this reason alone they are a God send in this arena even stuffed animals work at times.
Now for you give yourself a break this is a hard disease to deal with and most folks run from the room like their butt is on fire.
Remember when you start to feel like your on the edge take some deep breaths and blow it out dont hold on to something negative it does you no good nor the situation.
If shes got AARP (Bless them!) I have my MIL on the F plan I dont know which plan y'all got so check it out I chose that plan because there are no up front cost to us everything is included its a little pricey but in the long run it saves money especially with hospitalizations otherwise Id be in a hole right now by about 7,000 just on hosp. exits alone no joke
Find out what is needed from her PCP and get the ball rolling shes going to need this anyhow better sooner rather than later

Mom was worse when she first moved here and we notice she is worse when she is tired. She does seem to have declined since moving here. Ask the same questions within five minutes of one of us answering the last one. Her doctor recommended we take her to the Memory Clinic here for evaluation and some recommendations after doing a test with her. There is lots of paperwork to fill out before they will even make an appointment. We hope Medicare and AARP will help with this. She does not have a UTI, as we are very aware of these since she has had so many. Sometimes she is incontinent and others she just has little "dribbles". No bowel trouble. She uses a cane but is weak and unsteady and sits all day long. It is so hard to get her to even move about a bit. ALL she wants to watch on the TV 24/7 is news (in our livingroom). We are not used to having that on at all. She hates our shows, which are actually quite normal. She has a quirky sense of humor and can be very pleasant; but she is moody, belligerant, confused,angry and depressed at the drop of a hat and cannot learn even small tasks like using one button on the microwave to heat soup. She loves animals, always has, but now loves them more than people and family it seems. Which is fine and not taken personally. Time really confuses her. I hope I have answered your questions. Oh, she is on heart medications and was told 2 years ago that she was due for a "huge event" within 6 months. Gladly that has not ocurred. Thanks for your caring. I already feel better.

As a side note Im not ignoring your tired sweetie so dont think that.
If there is something wrong with mom then we need to get to the bottom of that first in order for some sanity to prevail again.
We are going to ask things like is there an infection what meds she is on is she ambulatory what kind of behaviors is she presenting etc etc.
Can you post what exactly is going on and answer the above questions so others may start to help make a little sense out of this for you then maybe we can get a little nap in for you once we figure this mess out K?

I have a minute before I gotta dry my mop so....
Snug does she have Alz's?
You said you moved her 3 months ago this is pretty normal behavior for an elder when their moved I usually say about a month its real bad after that its an adjustment period for them.
In your opinion has her behaviors got progressively worse or has it petered out a bit?
Is she incontinent?
If so could there be a possibility she has a UTI?