My husband has POA for his mom (blessing), she is under hospice care (another blessing) we live 3 hrs away (hard). We have to rely on sitters, because she wants to stay home as long as possible (we will abide by her wishes). The end of April the sitter was attacked in her bedroom by her own son (drugs)and now she is unable to care for herself. Next sitter we paid
$1400.00 for May she deserted her in 2 weeks, we later found out she was the cousin on the attacker. She stated she was deep cleaning the home, and all she did was ransacked it. I spent 3 days getting it back in order, logging missing antiques, filing reports, and taking care of my mother inlaw. New sitter, ask for a long distance package, got them (family of 4)one with 1500 mins, and got the 1st bill last sat. Over $700.00. They used the 1500, plus over 5000 more. This will come out of the monthly pay. Since they were hired in mid may I have paid to them over $2500.00. They live in the home, we pay all the bills, and leave money for groceries for mother inlaw. When I called regarding the phone bill, and stated I would be down friday, the wife asked if I could go ahead and pay the aug.pay. You know I'm a nice person and all, and will try to help most people, but I think I about ready to knock some people out. Are they no good people anymore??? Also you are proble going to ask why didn't I file charges in that 2nd sitter. I did, and the police thinks it was tied to the attack of the 1st sitter. So in other words in that town nothing will come of it. SORRY, had to vent or cry. Doing both. Thanks for being here.

Hiya Mickey and welcome. So very sorry you have had such bad experiences!! One would hope that folks would not take advantage of a situation like your mom's, but they do. Time to kick them out and take the reins. Even though your mom may wish to remain in her home, it sounds like that is NOT a good solution for her, particularly since she has become a target for scumbags (I feel sure they have more cousins...).

PLEASE press whatever charges you can and keep after it - letters to the newspaper, etc. Your mom is not the first these weasels have fleeced and she won't be the last until they are incarcerated.

A case manager could advise you on more reputable sitters, if that's what you choose to do... Since she is beign cared for by hospice, are there any agencies workign with them who have liscensed, bonded caregivers?

Good luck - glad you found your way here. Please keep us updated on how things turn out...

MICKEY, I TOO AM NEW TO THE SITE, BUT I JUST KEEP READING AS MANY AND AS MUCH AS I CAN, SO PLEASE KNOW, YOU ARE NOT ALONE, AND VENT, VENT, VENT, LONG DISTANCE CARE MUST REALLY BE HARD, I EVEN FEEL MY OWN SITUATION IS HARD AND I'M HOME W/MY MOM 24/7, BUT I GET VERY DISCOURAGED ALSO,FOR THE FACT THAT BESIDES BEING HER CAREGIVE, I'VE ALSO BEEN DIAGNOISED W/FIBRMYALGIA, BUT I DEAL WITH THE PAIN, BUT THE WORST IS LOOSING MOST OF MY EYESIGTH TO GLAUCOMA...SO I AM RESTRICETED EVEN WHEN I DO GET A CHANCE TO GET OUT, WHICH IS VERY RARE...BUT YES, UNFORTUANETLY THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING, ANYBODY,NOT REPECT OF PROPERTY, ETC..ONLY WHAT THEY NEED AND ALSO MOST LIKELY FOR DRUGS.
MY OWN TWO SONS HAVE ACTUALLY CAME IN AND RAMSACKED MY HOME, STOLEN FROM ME, AS WELL AS THEIR GRANPARENTS, SO IF ONE OF YOUR OWN SIBLINGS COULD DO IT, JUST THINK WHAT A STRANGER MIGHT BE CAPABLE.
MY ONLY ADVICE WOULD BE TO HAVE A COMPLET POLICE BACKGROUND CHECK DONE ON YOUR NEXT PERSON, AND LET IT BE KNOWN TO THEM, YOU'LL THEN BE SURPRISED HOW MANY APPLICANTS SUDDENLY HAVE CHANGED THEIR MING...
GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND AGAIN, KNOW YOU ARE AMONG PEOPLE WHO WILL SHARE W/YOU, PRAY FOR YOU, BUT MOST OF ALL, WE WILL LISTEN..
HAVE A BLESSED DAY. BEVERLY

Mickey, I’m glad you’ve found your way to this forum, where lots of people listen and offer a kind shoulder to lean on.

Long distance caregiving is hard enough, I’m so sorry you have these additional problems! Our family is transitioning with in-home health care, too, which just started last Friday. We went through an agency (Visiting Nurses Association). Our mom needs assistance with getting ready for day care (bathing, changing depends, preparing breakfast) so we currently have in-home care for 2 hours/day, 5 days/week.

I realize your needs far surpass ours, and my heart goes out to you. It’s agonizing, isn’t it, and I join May with being mad as heck about your situation with your sitters.

It sounds like you may have to cut your losses and get the current sitters out of the house. Perhaps you can get some recommendations from Hospice? There are also professional care managers who can help. Here is a web site to find one in your area:
http://www.caremanager.org/

There is information on how to find help here, too:
Administration on Aging

Mickey, please know you are not alone – you will find a lot of kindred spirits here.

~Karen

Mickey, unfortunately, your expreience is not unusual.It is hard to believe there are such ruthless people in this world, but the truth will not set us free.THEY ARE LEECHES WHO PREY OFF THOSE WHO ARE VUNERABLE , IN SO MANY WAYS,.I hear so many sories about those who have been intrusted to care for a loved ones.You have to be so careful when hiring someone to care for a loved one.Even the professional organizations have employees who have done these things.Some where along the way they have lost their heart and souls and become the devil in human clothing.We have a nursing home, deals with mostly wealthy.It is well know they have the attitude of these people have money so they can steal from them.At one time I had enquirred about help with my aunt and hubby.The first thing I asked was how well they screnned their help.I let it be know my knowledge of theives with in the programs.It happens in the hospitals, nursing homes.THEY WILL STEAL ANYTHING THAT IS NOT GLUED DOWN.THE SAD THING IS the public knows of this happening so the facility must choose to turn a blind eye.Be very careful of those who will do such.In our area, we had an elderly woman killed when she confronted a 33 year old helper for using her bank card

Mickey-Welcome to this wonderful place. I wish I had some suggestions for you but all I can think of is to send (((hugs))) and (((prayers))) for you and your MIL and hubby. Please let us know how things work out.Gypsy