My father in law has dementia of some type -- organic brain damage showed up in a cat scan nearly two years ago; he has almost no short term memory and no memory of anything in the last few years. His wife is caring for him, but it's beginning to be too much for her to do alone.

His four children and I have no clue what we should be doing. His wife says the dr says it's not Alzheimers, but that's all we know. Is it important for us to pin the dr down on what exactly is wrong?

Is there some book you would recommend? What do you wish you had done right away?
Thank you so much for your help.
Nanci

36 Hour Day from Amazon

Gentle Care by Moyra Jones

Here are a couple of books about AD caregiving.

Use today wisely,
It's the only one we get.

Oh, for so short a time,
we are on loan to each other.

Jim

Thank you all.

We're going to call his dr. this week and talk to him about a diagnosis.

I hope that we are able to help my MIL before it's too late. She's extremely the kind of person who never wants any help. Also we're not local, so the kind of help we can give is limited, and she won't accept paid help.

Any other first steps advice? Books?

THanks

The others have already given you some good advice on your FIL's diagnosis.

My concern is for your MIL. She needs your help as much or more than your FIL. Please think of all the ways you and the others can help her, as you said she is about at the end of her rope. Ask what she needs done and if she says nothing, look around and do what you can see needs to be done anyway. We all hate to ask for help, but it is sooo necessary in caregiving. Take her out for lunch, sit with the FIL so she can get her hair fixed, call to see if she needs groceries before you visit, take a book or magazine with you, take a cassarole or dessert when she hasn't had time to cook. These things will make all the difference in the world to how she can hold up. AND, above all give her a hug and tell her what a good job she is doing and that you love her. Your new friend, Margaret

thats what the memory center said after 2 days of testing my husband, he had brain damage. when i asked if it would progress the said they did not know.
well it did progress in a couple of years it was odviouse he had alzheimers.

sandra

Getting and exact diagnoses is not possible. The Dr. must have put him through a series of testing in order to say it is not alz. In any case it does sound like your FIL is suffering from some form of cognitive disorder or disease. It sounds as if you all would benefit from some knowledge and information about what your FIL is suffering from. I would suggest calling the Alz. Assoc. in your area. they can help you with information and explaining what your FIL is suffering from. As his condition/disease progresses he is going to get worse and it will take knowledge to care for him in a manner that is best for him, your MIL and everyone else.

Edyth Ann aka Bubblehead aka Queen Bubble
AOL IM EdythAnn12
edythann@netzero.net