Hi all,

I stumbled on this forum last night as I was wallowing in some self-pity and needed to vent... I'm sure I will do that again, but for the moment I'm reasonably sane so I figured I'd give a proper intro.

I'm two months into having my mother in my house and trying to do what is best for her. I have entertained the idea of putting a few potted plants and a throw rug out in the tractor shed and calling it a guest house... but I'm guessing there's probably some stupid law that says I can't.

My mom is 69 and has been "losing it" for some time now. Probably longer than any of us care to admit. As I look back, I can see signs that popped up as early as ten years ago. The doc says it is Multi-Infarct Dementia, or good old fashioned hardening of the arteries.

I keep picturing the old video game where a gunship roved back and forth across the bottom of the screen and you had to shoot things in the sky. I picture the "silent strokes" like the ammo - sometimes it misses or only hits something small, other times it hits something really big and you have to sit up and take notice.

I'm currently wrestling with how aggressive to be in her treatment options. I understand there is no recovering what is already lost... and some of the medications appear to be a leap of faith. I'm reading and listening and trying to prioritize.

Aside from the dementia she is in relatively good health. She has arthritis in her knees, slightly elevated cholesterol levels, and we could both stand to lose weight.

I'm kind of on my own here, my sister is 6 hours away and busy with kids and grandkids as well as work. Right now I'm thankful to have a couple of hounds who love me and are willing to ignore the fact that I'm going around the house cussing under my breath. There's an ex husband who sympathizes and is good for an email joke every once in a while, and an amazing man who tells me he loves me and makes sure to gather me up into one piece when I start to fall apart.

So, that's a start... nice to be here, thanks for letting me ramble on!

I have the nurse and social worker from the Health Department scheduled to be here this Thursday morning to do an AERS evaluation of mom. Is there anything specific I should be asking them?

I'm in totally uncharted waters here. While I am hopeful they will be able to point me towards some help and services, maybe even some alternative living arrangements... but I'm trying not to put all my hopes in the government agencies. That said, I'm fully prepared to take advantage of whatever is out there, maybe finally get something back for the years of tax dollars.

Thanks ladies...

We are working with a doctor here in Maryland, and figuring things out. He has done a pretty thorough evaluation and feels certain the issue is this multi-infarct dementia and pointed out that she doesn't have some key symptoms that would indicate Alzheimers. He is willing to prescribe the Namenda, I'm just not sure it is worth any risk or side effect. Because she is in pretty good health, other than the memory issues, I'm more inclined to work on reducing cholesterol levels and increasing her physical activity as I can see where those two actions would have a direct positive impact. (and would probably do me some good too!)

Jake is working this weekend, so I'm on my own. I tried to plan things so that I will have a little time to myself, like an hour or two on the tractor yesterday... but even so, by the time dinner rolled around I was mentally exhausted.

Because of the language processing issues, she says everything she is thinking out loud... so the result is a non-stop play by play commentary on everything she sees... and when she doesn't have enough details about a subject, she makes up stories to fill in the blanks.

The poor man who lives across the street is about to be kicked out of his house by an ungrateful wife who hates the way he spends all his time in the garage working on that junk truck somebody brought in on a trailer. In truth, he built any man's dream garage last year and is now absorbed in restoring a classic Ford pick-up... but mom's version is much more entertaining and gives me insight to her thought processes.

OK, I'm off to figure out how to get through today! Go Ravens! Go Bills! Go Sabres!

Hi pumpkin, welcome to ECO. Like BG says, your Mom needs a serious evaluation. If her dementia is from TIAs, Namenda is unlikely to do any good. Preventing future strokes and therapy are the goal. But here's the rub. Just because there is a known thing going on, doesn't mean it is the only thing going on. If she has AD, there is a pattern of behavior, progression, and response that indicate that.

Not that TIAs are simple, but that was/is Mom's problem. Many years ago, her Doc put her on Aricept without further testing so her TIAs went undiagnosed, untreated, and ongoing, etc. AND she was taking an expensive drug with potential side effects for NO REASON. AND she was told she had Alzheimer's when she did not. Unfortunately there was then (and still is) a large stigma attached. She became isolated and ignored by friends and at social situations. I still spit nails about this. (LOL, everyone here knows that and allows me my pet peeve).

It is true, that sometimes, seeing the response to a drug is how a diagnosis is confirmed, but I always hope for better.

I like hounds just fine, but for me right now, I prefer my cats. They don't need me much but still are glad to see me. A good man will hand me a Guinness when I walk in the door. (Right with you on that one unless you like yours from the fridge. I like mine about 55 degrees.)

quote:

She isn't currently on any treatment. We are considering starting Namenda, but I have to do some reading first. I need to get my mom and my sisters together and try to figure out what everyone's long term expectations are. I personally am of two minds... one thinks I should take advantage of everything that is out there, the cold-hearted realist in me wonders if it is worth all the money, side effects and complications if this is as good as it gets and the Namenda may or may not have any effect at all. Now, if a concrete issue arose, an illness or infection, or some other symptom that needed a specific treatment, that would be different.

Honestly hun I would run not walk to her PCP and start treatment/get her evaluated.
This is a sticky situation I know but it would serve you well to get the ball rollin.
It may not seem like its worth while but let me assure you it is simply because its for her sanity as well as yours.

Her symptoms are mainly memory loss and loss of anything that resembles sound judgement. She cannot manage money at all. She gets days, dates and years wrong, and can't keep track of how old relatives are. (But if she wants to keep telling people I'm 28, that's fine with me!)

She has a difficult time processing spoken language and repeats everything she hears. She can still read well, but can't do crosswords or word finds. There are some speech issues, sometimes slurred, and lots of times she can't find the word she is looking for or name an object. She has to touch and hold things for a while to figure out what they are.

She isn't currently on any treatment. We are considering starting Namenda, but I have to do some reading first. I need to get my mom and my sisters together and try to figure out what everyone's long term expectations are. I personally am of two minds... one thinks I should take advantage of everything that is out there, the cold-hearted realist in me wonders if it is worth all the money, side effects and complications if this is as good as it gets and the Namenda may or may not have any effect at all. Now, if a concrete issue arose, an illness or infection, or some other symptom that needed a specific treatment, that would be different.

Two hounds and a good man and a Guinness... that's as good as it gets!

Glad to have you here Pumpkin!
If nothing else, we are all very good at picking up each others pieces.Tell us more about Mom - what treatment is she currently on, and what symptoms is she showing, and what's going on right now that makes you think you might need to be more aggressive in her treatment?
By the way - it don't get much better than 2 hounds and a good man! Lucky, lucky you.