Hi,
I just found this board during my desperate attempt to find some answers. I am 21 and my grandfather has recently gone downhill. I have one uncle who is worthless, and another one who thinks there's nothing wrong with my grandfather and has the "if he dies he dies attitude". My grandma is still living and very sound and healthy. My parents, grandma and I are basically the only people worth much in the family right now and we're the only ones trying desperately to help my grandfather (my mom's dad, my grandmas husband of 52 years). I don't know if anyone can help me here or if not, PLEASE recommend a good forum where I can post. I am desperate. Here's what's going on. My grandfather just turned 81, has had a stroke years ago, 1 heart attack long time ago, has a brain anurism that he's had for years and years. He is extremely intelligent, able to walk, and rode a 3 wheeled bike twice a day. A month ago right before Thanksgiving, he wasn't feeling well. My grandma said he was just being lazy. My parents and I begged her to take him to the doctor. She took him to the Veterans hospital where he goes, they said he was ok. Few days later she took him to a regular hospital and they found out he had Congestive Heart failure and renal failure. He was admitted for about 5 ays. During that time he got very weak and was unable to walk. He was moved over to a nursing home for rehabilition through physical therapy. The place was a joke. He seemed to go even further downhill. My grandfather started getting depressed. He also started talking to himself. He would yell "help me! Please help me!" When asked what he needed help with he would yell "Dont worry about it". He started getting grumpy and talking to himself. It was rather alarming and stressing to see him start to do this as he has NEVER EVER done this before. He wanted home. He didn't like their food, didn't eat much and has not lost about 24 pounds in one month. He is very thin, and I don't recognize him. That place did nothing for him. The veterans finally got him into their nursing home about a week ago. Since then he has gone way downhill again just when we thought he was getting better. He WAS walking again and talking, laughing, telling jokes and back to him smart witty self. He caught pneumonia somehow and finished his round of antibiotics. He is now at the Veterans nursing home. The other day his blood sugar went to 11. He is diabetic, not on insulin or anything because he has always been borderline diabetic. They had to IV him a few days ago because of his blood sugar going to 28, then to 17 and then to 11. He won't eat very much. The other day I got into it with him telling him he had to eat! I can't watch him do this to himself. I said dont you want to get better? and he said he doesn't really plan on getting better or think he ever will again. There's more to it but I ended up leaving the room in tears. I think he is giving up. Anyways, today was a very weird day. My mom and I went to visit him around 5:30. He did not eat breakfast today and they said he didn't eat lunch. My grandma brought him a sandwich from home earlier before we got there and he didnt eat that either. I guess I should mention this also, he was given a test the other day for dementia etc and he came out as being perfect. They said he was sharp as everything with no sign of dementia. Well today he started the HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME and then was yelling "NO dont do that, dont do that, please dont do that". We would ask him dont do what and he would zone back into reality and say "nothing, dont worry about it!" Then he would start all over again. We'd ask him a question and he would answer it correctly then would zone back into yelling things to I have no clue who. He just keeps saying help me help me help me, no please dont do that. He then had to go to the bathroom and wheeled himself in. He didnt shut door all the way and we heard him say "NO you did that all wrong, no look you messed it all up!!" Then he said "yeah, i know, i know". Then he was saying some other weird stuff and then started saying "yoyo dodo" and then screamed yoyo dodo again. When he came back out he acted normal. Food came and we stayed to make sure he would eat it. He stared at it and just started saying I can do this! I cut his fish up and buttered his role. I put a straw in his drink etc. He took 2 bites of rice and started choking on mucus and threw up in his fish. I had to run and find someone to help. I think his pneumonia is getting worse although when we asked they dont have him on antibiotics anymore and this place is a crock too but only place that will take him since he is a 100% disabled from the War (he lost his hearing in the war and needs hearing aids. He can hear with the hearing aids). He didnt eat dinner. So now he hasn't eaten anything today once again. He started the please help me, please let me go, please dont do that, dont do that, please. Sometimes he closes his eyes and yells this weird stuff and then when we tap his arm and say who are you talking to he yells "Dont worry about it!!!". Tonight he started yelling Margaret (not my grandmothers name) and was talking to people I'm assuming because he would say their name. No idea who they are. He pounds the bed and in his "sleep" but not really sleep he said no way to get home, no way to get home, i see the doctor and he tells me no way home. He wants out of there so bad and he needs to get better before they will release him home. This Veterans nursing home here in Orlando is a crock. So far no one gives answers and no one is really around to ask questions. He sees the doctor tomorrow for another chest x-ray. When asked why he is acting this way they dont know. It's like he is extremely delerious. I have never ever seen my grandpa like this, or yelling this stuff. It's like he's in another world then snaps back to reality. He can tell you what time it is, what day it is, when he last took pills etc... but this stuff is very concerning and no one in our family knows what is going on!!! If they said he doesn't have dementia, which I dont think he does either, then what is this?!? What are these delusions he seems to be having? Anyone have any experience with this? Sorry this is so long, but if anyone can help or point me in a direction where I can find out info please tell me because we cant get any answers from anyone and I'm trying to find them out myself since no one else will help.
Thanks!!!!!

What a hard thing for you to be going through. My heart goes out to you and I promise I'll pray until things seem to go in a different direction. Hospice taught me while caring for my mother-in-law [alzheimers] that there is a point "to give in" not "give up" just "give in". Give into the fact that your grandfathers body is tired and breaking down. So what to do while you wait for ans. from doctors? Love him. Go along with his reality. Don't try to change his mind about his reality. Hospice also told me that when they stop eating it is a sign that his life might be very near the end. So give as much comfort you can--give into it. I'm not saying give up trying to get ans. just let go and try to see how many times you and your grandfather can connect before he leaves this life. It sounds like you are doing all you can, Lisa. The blood sugar level can also cause many terrible side effects. My MIL also had this problem before she passed on. I would get orange juice or Ensure down her to level out the low blood sugar. But then she refused everthing. She was a skeleton when she passed. Don't hurt your heart over not being able to stop this. You might ask the hospital to contact Hospice to help you and your grandfather. The doctor will give the order. Cannot tell you what kind people these are and how much help they will give you. Keep posting while you wait. Many here have so much first hand knowledge that will help you get through this. I am sending you a yellow rose because they are so full of courage. Bless you, Lisa!

You have come to the right place for information and support. I'm glad you found our site. Rich has given you some very good advise. When an older person is suddenly put in the hospital with a serious medical condition, having delusions is not uncommon.

Is there a favorite food he likes that you may be able to tempt him to eat? Talk with the Dr. about your concerns. It is important to get the nursing staff on your side if you can. Post again and let us know what is happening with him.

Vicki

Sugarlips

Soemtimes an individual will get delusional when they are ill (i.e., with pneumonia) and placed in an unfamiliar environment (the hospital).

You are well advised to continue to be there with your grandfather and do your best to help him eat. You are his best advocate for care. Educate yourself on his conditions and prepare to take him home when he is ready for discharge.

His "weird talking" may just be a sign of the delusion. Look to make sure that he does not have any unknown bruises or other injuries. If someone is delusional or demented, they often can't express themselves when they are in pain and may act out in ways you described.

Look to see what type of response he has with the various aides and doctors. If you have any concerns, raise them with the doctor. Also, having a positive relationship with the aides and nurses is essential. I don't mean to be confrontational, but you have to sometimes see the work load from their perspective. Being there as much as possible will help both the nurses and your grandfather.

Please keep us posted.

Casey/Rich