My husband and I have been separated for the past year. He just moved back in. Our marriage 'ended' years ago. I don't know how I can care for him. He is declining. His only son, my stepson, will not speak to me, lives 40 minutes away and is unaware of how serious his father's condition is. I can hardly breathe.
I don't even know how to use this chat room.

Thanks for your reply. He really just needs casual supervision and company, as you say. When things get worse (so far his condition is progressing slowly), his son will have to take over. His condition is still a secret from most of 'the world' because he is still teaching. He was going to retire this summer but decided to stay until December. This secret part does make it harder. Had a bit of a down day yesterday but better today.
Thanks

On some level, you will care.
Did you break up because neither of you was the same person as the one you first met (and I wonder, could that be because of the Alz or other reasons?) You don't have to answer that here; just something to think about.
The two of you can be in the house together for as long as you can deal with the situation - it will become worse, medication or not, and there is no guarantee how swiftly that might happen.
The Long Term Care Insurance is good - NH placement my eventually be the ONLY way you can responsibly care for him.
How much actual, hands on caregiving does he need at this point? Casual supervision and company, or help getting dressed, getting up, etc?

Thought this was a chat room. Does this site have one? Still married. Been to doctors and lawyers. Have protected our assets, he's on all the Alz medications that are used today. Have long-term care insurance. He has no one else to take care of him.
If I divorce, I can not keep the house so that is why he is back.
Am wondering how I can actually do any care giving w/o the "caring" part.

Welcome, ADC. This is not a "chat room" - it's a forum. We do not have a "chat room" here at ECO. I have moved your topic to the New Caregivers Meeting Room where folks usually introduce themselves and tell us a little about their situation so we can get to know you and understand more about how we might be of support to you.

But for immediate matters... have you discussed your husband's condition (whatever it is) with his doctor? If you are still married, you have a right to do so as his spouse. If you are divorced, then you cannot speak with his doc because of privacy laws and should contact his son. If he will not answer telephone calls, you can write him a letter.

Without knowing more details, I do not know what else to suggest to you. How did he move back in without your permission? Were any legal separation papers drawn up? I think you need to speak with an attorney...

ADC, welcome to ECO. You pose a serious problem that is difficult to approach. The chat room here is disabled for now. I am sorrry about that. This is a pickle you are in. What kind of help do you want? Mostly we are a How to do the care giving sort of place. Do you intend to attempt this in your home? You give no clue what his medical problems are. Take your time. Also, what you can do for him will depend on your legal status. POA... DPOA. Breathe deep. We will try to help if we can.