I just do not know how to know what to do. Mom tends to get mad at DAd an awful lot. Dad has problems with his PSP and I think he does get short with Mom and then Mom spends her time shutting herself in the bedroom and crying or leaving the house and sitting in the yard. HEre's my dilemma. Dad says he doesnt say anything but yet I have been around them when he doesnt actually come out and specifically say things - but he does say things in such a way that there could be an underlying meaning. Like the tone and shortness of his words and actions. Mom says Dad thinks shes stupid and dumb. so I don't know just HOW much is really Mom's Alzheimers and how much is DAd really being short with heror how much she imagines. She keeps saying she is going to leave and get out of the situation, or do away with herself. Dad & Mom both talk that way. Which I have discussed with their primary doctor. Now today while I am gone to lunch, DAd calls and he has not been able to find Mom for 45 minutes. I call him back. He found her, in the basement. She's mad at him. Crying her eyes out. I ask her what about. She says "ask him, he knows". Dad says he has "no idea". NOW -- did Dad really say something or do something to make Mom mad or did he not do anything. They are like two small children -- "he did it" "uh uh no I didn't" type thing. There is no way I can solve this unless I am there 24 hours a day to know exactly what is going on. Over the years Mom has always done for Dad and taken care of everything for him. She's always been a wonderful Mom and full of caring and giving. so this recent "episodes" is out of charachter for her. Now that Dad can no longer work outside, they are together 24/7 in the house. Mom says Dad won't let her do a thing without him following her around. (I am sure that alone would be enough to get on my nerves.) But now I am wondering if a lot of Mom's problems are from depression making her Alzheimers look a lot worse than it is. I dunno what to do. Which way is up or what to sttempt. I know I can't get through to them that if they don't quit fighting and Mom getting mad and walking out in the cold, that they will HAVE to go somewhere where I know they will be safe. I just feel so frustrated and worn out from all of this. My sister and my brother both do not think Mom & Dad need to be in Assisted Living or a Nursing Home yet - but I really think they should have been there 6 months ago! Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do or what should be done? I would like for my Mom, Dad, brother , sister and the family doctor all sit down and have an appointment about all of it. Another question I have is Mom is on Zoloft and Aricept. And with AD -- if she forgets to take her Zoloft -- can a sporadic doseage cause some of her problems to be even worse? Currently we are trying to count her pills secretly to see if the correct number is gone according to the days passed since the last counting. I hate to do things like that in secret but if Mom knows we are counting her pills, she will feel that we think she's not bright enough to take her own pills. Aaarrrgh! I am sooooo tired of all of this.

Depression and Anxiety...

Daughter number 2 ------it's quite evident that YOU can't continue the way you are going with this situation right now. I would suggest that both your parents need depression medication and counseling to work through all of this---

It is NOT your problem to fix because YOU can't fix it...

For the medications, I suggest you get a pill case from the drug store--the one with compartments for each day of the week and different times of the day.

It is also quite evident that you and your siblings and the doctor may have to arrange some sort of intervention in this situation to point out to your parents the toll the situation is taking on each one of them and you.
If not--I think you are just begging for a crisis to intervene in this situation too.



...

Use today wisely,
It's the only one we get.

Oh, for so short a time,
we are on loan to each other.

Jim