Thanking all of you and desiring to let NEW MEMBERS know that some advice and helpful comments do not feel helpful in the moment.

As I read and re-read notes that have been sent to me I find new thoughts that I am able to deal with and absorb. New tools too. Yes, INDEED, some of my anger really came from anger at myself and not my Mom. I have learned to just accept her where she is in the moment and not "try to figure out if she is in someway deceiving me or trying to get attention". Have an open mind and listen to those that have been or are still going through so many of the things you are experiencing. There is much wisdom here and many who have shared your emotions, frustations and hearts. Great to be here and glad you are too.

For most of us, we have no idea of what's to come and ALL it involves when we undertake the worthy task of caregiving. Ya kinda jump on the train and hold on for dear life!! It torques our heads and emotions in ways that most of us didn't think possible. We frequently find ourselves going over *old* business that we THOUGHT we'd settled long ago...

I've often said that I think caregiving our elders during their last adventures in life is the final step in *growing up* - when all is said and done, the circle has become complete and then we have to go on...

Hang in there, dear. Like the line from the movie, "Fasten your seatbelt. We're in for a bumpy ride." The rewards for what we do are different for each of us - sometimes, we actually hear the words, "Thank you." Other times, it's just a smile or the squeeze of a hand. Some days, it's just knowing we made it through and didn't run screamin' nekkid down the street!! Most of it, we take on faith because we'll never know if this thing we did was right or wrong - the point is that we're here, on deck and doing the very best that we know how. It's the most difficult task I have undertaken in life thus far. And I'd do it all over again if I had the choice to go back...

The BEST thing about the journey is that there are people who are walking it before, during and after each of us. Among us all, we help one another through.

Many blessings to you and ALL the folks out there who are walking the walk...

quote:

and desiring to let NEW MEMBERS know that some advice and helpful comments do not feel helpful in the moment.

Boy did you hit the nail on the head there SC!

I and others get the reason why people come here and yes it does take a moment to absorb some posts and no it doesnt feel helpful...folks are frustrated, burnt out, angry, depressed, and often times wanting something/anything to be said to them in that moment that just can not be said other than we get it and heres how to make the journey easier.

It is often hit and miss with this disease and if you have read anything including my journey with my MIL you will see that was definitely the case I got a diagnosis of AD but that was it, it didnt explain all the other stuff that was going on.
But see, the family of CG's here teach a valuable lesson. Research, question, talk it out even if its not the right answer eventually those who are posting will point you in the right direction. Sometimes Doctors and Nurses dont know everything Ill tell you straight out all of my answers came from this forum and believe it or not other CNA's who have dealt with this disease on a daily basis.
Theres a lot more to this disease than a school book, movie of the week, or a 5 minute perusal of our LO's in a office setting can give you.
I often found I had to just take a deep breath and walk away from this computer to deal with one or more posts and recognize I was exhausted and often times reading too much into a post.
Theres also that little thing called control, now Ill tell you that is one hard thing to let go of...Hmmmm could be the reason my house is so dang clean...THAT I can control

Thanks, Snugcare for those kind and encouraging words. We are here to keep a place going where the experiences of those who are doing or have done this job can be shared.

Truth...it is not always a pretty picture, it can be a huge blow to all we thought we knew about ourselves, our strengths, weaknesses, faith, limitations, and relationships. A lot of it does not come naturally even if it is in fact a natural life transition.

I am glad you are here, too. There is a lot of reward in this task, and a spoonful of sugar does help the medicine go down, but much of this just can't be sugar coated. For those who view their relationship with an elderly or impaired loved one as a contest of will, it is all the more difficult. We can find out how strong and loving we truly are with a little less heartache and far more joy if we don't try to go it alone. It is a journey of self discovery, and learning forgiveness of others and ourselves.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Bobcat,