I called my mother's Dr. and made an appointment for her to see her wound care specialist. She has refused to go in the past. I have laid down the law on this fact. I told her if she doen't go to the dr. than she forfiets going shopping with me. SHe is mad but has agreed to go. I am going to ask her regualar dr to refer her to a diabetic specialist and see if we can get her diabetese under control. She states her Dr. is fine and that she likes him but he has tried to get her to see a specialist for several months now. My question is that in a day where there is so many kinds of abuse is it abuse to refuse to take her where she wants to go if she wont go to the dr. I can do all the shopping for necessities, however she claims to need to get out of the house every once and awhile.I feel guilty about the conditions I have given her, as she is not a child but was out of ideals.

Glad to hear your aunt backed you up! I hope this is the beginning of a trend. Good luck with the trips and I hope the ac can be fixed soon. Bummer about that in the middle of July! Take care of yourself somewhere in that busy schedule.

"Whatever tomorrow brings, I"ll be there-with open arms and open eyes"

Thanks I feel alot better about giving her the ultimatium now. She has called her sister and told her what I said and for once my aunt backed me up. She informed my mom if she is too sick to go to her dr. appointments she is too sick to go shopping. I do belive this is the first time my aunt has backed me up. It sure took the wind out of mom's sails. We went to town today, a form of excape (airconditioner went out). We laid out what we were going to do in advance and let everyone have a say in where to eat. Although she wasn't happy about our choice, she just pouted. The children had a good time eating pizza, then I took her to get her chicken. She wasn't exactly happy, but she didn't throw a fit either. So we will try the schudeling our days out again.

There is no law that I know of that says you have to take an elderly parent anywhere, even to the Drs.However if you know they can not get out and refuse to make sure they have the ability to get or seek assistance for than that can be considered neglect. however you do not have to do it for them. If she is cognitively whole and able then she also has a right to refuse care. Thjough in an emergency where her cognitive abilities can be question as well as her judgement allowing her to refuse care may be considered neglect, especially if it is causing her physical harm and putting her in jeporady. Now how is all of this for clear as mud.

Edyth Ann aka Bubblehead aka Queen Bubble
AOL IM EdythAnn12
edythann@netzero.net

Lissa, its not like you are shutting mom up in a room with bars on the windows. If this is the only way you can get her to the doctor, so be it. It is definitely not in the category of "abuse". Think of in terms of a cranky child; she doesn't behave, she gets time outs and her toys taken away for awhile.