this is my 1st time here, not really new to caregiving. I am 46, my mother is 90 and has multiple physical problems along with alzheimers. hate to admit I came today because it was a really bad day and I seriously doubt any day will be better, not so much my mother but my only two relatives who seem to do nothing and feel like victims to everything. I originally wrote much more, read it a couple times and deleted but still wanted to say it does help to vent.

ccintn, my introduction on CC was to ask if it might be time to call in Hospice for my mother. It felt like a really tough way to start posting, and my mother died not long after, but I stayed arouhd because I just didn't have much support in my real world at all (other than my partner who also has a lot of health problems) and I found that here, plus I hoped to share what I'd learned (usually through trial and error and sometimes simply by accident) with others going through this incredibly difficult journey.

While I dont' post nearly as often as I used to, and my caregiving is restricted now to my partner who isn't quite an elder, I still have friends that I made here, and I still find posting - even if it's not anything to do with me - to be good therapy.

Not everyone is all that comfortable with posting, I know that, but I hope maybe you'll come back and give it a whirl again, and maybe you'll find it does help one way or another.

Sorry bout them relatives. I understand the frustration. Too many of us do.

Take care.

quote:

I came today because it was a really bad day

Glad you found your way here. Many of us got here by that same route: a REALLY bad day and looking for others who understand. If you do some reading here, you'll find that familial problems can really complicate an already difficult situation. This is a great place with super folks who "talk the talk" and who "walk the walk." None of us knows everything, but among us all, there's usually SOMEONE who has had a similar situation with which to deal and survive.

I hope you'll update us when you have time. Looking forward to getting to know you and yours. Many blessings to you for all that you do for the care of your mom.

Yeah. I understand completely. Being able to vent, and having someone who not only listens but understands is a little lift of that burden. I think one of the worst parts of caregiving has been that feeling of being all alone.

And families? It wouldn't be so bad if they are just useless, but these same people tend to add to our burdens. They whine, meddle, criticize, but won't lift a finger. But, "I'll pray for you." Praying is great; I recommend it. But as the apostle James said, "I SHOW my faith BY my works."

Hello, ccintn, I wish I knew the magic words that would make everyone do the right thing, the way to have this be easy. It is just pretty dang hard a lot of the time. On this particular day, I seem to be a little short of wisdom, but it does help to vent, it helps to be with others who understand.

Welcome to ECO. Breathing really helps. A good deep breath, again. And a hug, even a cyber {{{hug}}}.

Bobcat.