My husband and I recently moved my mother in with us. She's suffering from mild dementia - asks the same questions over and over, poor short term memory, etc. She also has 'bathroom' problems. I think what gets to me the most is the bathroom problems - the smell, mom not being able to tell when she needs to change her undergarment, her not making it to the bathroom in time, etc.

It's frustrating; I want to believe that my mom is OK, but she obviously isn't. My husband tells me that everything irritates me these days.

I guess I just need to know that it's OK to feel this way; that there are ways to cope.

Sorry if I've gone on too long.

COPD can cause memory lapses along with dementia.Not to mention the fear of not being able to get enough air in the lungs.I know I have COPD........

I don't know if this topic every came up here before or not, but after my mom was diagnosed with dementia and she also had urinary problems we did a lot of research on the connection between the two. If she hasn't already had a CT-Scan of the head to rule out Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus (NPH), it would be a good idea to have this test done. NPH symptoms mimic those of dementia and can be alleviated by inserting a shunt into the brain to drain the fluid that causes these symptoms. I'm not a doctor, but I have had experience with this, and it is certainly worth looking into.
Shari

quote:

Originally posted by Denise_Texas:
My husband and I recently moved my mother in with us. She's suffering from mild dementia - asks the same questions over and over, poor short term memory, etc. She also has 'bathroom' problems. I think what gets to me the most is the bathroom problems - the smell, mom not being able to tell when she needs to change her undergarment, her not making it to the bathroom in time, etc.

It's frustrating; I want to believe that my mom is OK, but she obviously isn't. My husband tells me that everything irritates me these days.

I guess I just need to know that it's OK to feel this way; that there are ways to cope.

Sorry if I've gone on too long.

quote:

Mom is just on her best behavior.

Bingo
BC is right its all about the "comfort zone" we have said it in the past, they do a REAL good "duck n cover" when they have to and when their back to their comfort zone anything goes.
It sounds like shes still pretty much "with it" so your going to see alot of this duck n cover routine right now.

Her health is really not that bad - insulin-dependent diabetic, just diagnosed with COPD, dementia. It could be that when we go out of town, Mom is just on her best behavior.

Denise

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Originally posted by Bobcat:
As long as you got here, you can put it anywhere.

quote:

We get home and within a short time, we have a mess.

That is a little odd, but many of us would be glad she waited until at home. People have strange responses to being out of their comfort zone for a bit.

Other than that, what is going on with Mom and her health?

As long as you got here, you can put it anywhere.

quote:

We get home and within a short time, we have a mess.

That is a little odd, but many of us would be glad she waited until at home. People have strange responses to being out of their comfort zone for a bit.

Other than that, what is going on with Mom and her health?

Thanks for moving my post - I wasn't sure where to put it.

I guess what I find the most frustrating is that we take my mom out of town with us and she never has an bathroom accident. We get home and within a short time, we have a mess. I don't understand it.

I have 5 sisters, but one is mentally ill, another emotionally and financially abused mom and I can only count on 1 of the remaining 3 to provide backup once in awhile. Mom will be going to stay with her for a week shortly - my hubbie and I will be off celebrating our 2nd anniversary. That will be a nice break - I am sooo looking forward to it!

Thanks for the warm welcome; it is greatly appreciated!

quote:

Originally posted by Bobcat:
Hi Denise, Welcome to ECO. Glad you signed in. Believe me that was not at all too long, and I hope you don't have trouble finding your post again, I moved it here where we all keep an eye out for introductions.

By the way, Hello Will79, good to see you, too.

As Will said, this is a great place to find good experienced company to discuss problems as they come up. If you have any ttrouble with using the features of this forum, any of us will try to help.

Hi Denise, Welcome to ECO. Glad you signed in. Believe me that was not at all too long, and I hope you don't have trouble finding your post again, I moved it here where we all keep an eye out for introductions.

By the way, Hello Will79, good to see you, too.

As Will said, this is a great place to find good experienced company to discuss problems as they come up. If you have any ttrouble with using the features of this forum, any of us will try to help.

Hi Denise,
Welcome, this a good place to have friendly advice.
What your mother is doing or not doing is the result of her mind not working as well as she is getting older, justry to remember she is your mother and that sort of helps.
One other thing to remember you as the caregiver has to maintain your health and sanity, try to maintain a free period occasionaly.
I have been thru this and hope you feel not alone and reach out for help once in awhile.
There is no shame in asking for help.

Hey Denise welcome in
Of course its ok to feel like this as long as you dont allow it to rule your day.
This is life sweetie, it aint neatly wrapped in a box with a gold bow on it like the movies....its messy frustrating hair pulling shakes you to the core cause you cant wish it away.
So what do you do you ask?
You do the best you can with whatcha got and let the rest fall to the wayside.
Set some of those balls down ya got up in the air the house can stay a mess the dinner can be late there can be a little smell some dust bunnies merrily multiplying under the couch (this is when a dog with a long coat can be real helpful )
Ya gotta find ANYTHING to laugh at and remember when you do get a little flustered, BREATH.
Go get mom some depends (or Walmart brand their much cheaper and just as good)
Get yourself some reusable chux pads whether they be medical grade or from the kiddie section in Walmart
Cleaning supplies
Vinegar (toss a cup in the rinse water when washing clothes and always keep moms separate from yours) if their really foul soak in water with the Odo ban or vinegar overnight
Odo ban (or an equivalent)
Keep mom in light or white colored clothing so you can bleach them especially when their incontinent.
Wash and hang clothing bedding etc out in the sun to kill the rest of the odor.
If this is poop were talkin about keep a jar of vicks to lightly smear under your nose it does help.
Hope this helps just a little
Again Welcome aboard

Hi Denise and welcome.
I also found it very hard to cope with the bathroom issue.
For some reason I resisted using disposables (diapers).
I guess I felt like it was giving in to the disease and I wanted her to NOT be that bad! (denial is my middle name sometimes)

Looking back it was just kind of crazy, because using them made my life and hers so much easier.

You are new to this and of course it is a huge adjustment, but you will be okay. Everything is irritating because you feel a lack of control.

Hang in there!