Your Duck is Dead

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled
out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly
and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."

The distressed woman wailed,
"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you
haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might
just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room.

He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in
amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs,
put his front paws on the examination table
and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked
up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat
jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird
from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches,
shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of
the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a
dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few
keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the
woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.
"$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken
my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Hehehe, I needed that.