I finally worked up to getting mom to visit the adult day care facility. She is going tomorrow for a half day visit (5 hours) and I am a bit worried about her reaction. After her initial visit with me, she was very quiet the rest of the day and wouldn't talk about it at all. I know she is going to pout tomorrow when she comes home, but I am going to stand strong on her going at least 2 half days a week. I would like to work up to 2 whole days eventually. She is still very mobile, albeit slow, so while she is, I want her to go. It is a really nice place with great people and they incorporate quite a few things in the day that would help mom. I am trying to find aid $$ for it as it is pretty expensive, but I could swing the half days on my own if I have to. I sure hope it works because I definitely need the break and so does patient hubby. *S*

It is really something to think about how much we learn not only about our own LO's condition, but the empathy we develop for others in a similar boat. I'ld like to think that when Mom no longer needs me, I will volunteer to help others, but in all honesty I don't know what I will do.

T.O.R.P. , A sundown care program is brilliant. That is clearly a good example of people seeing the real picture of what tears people down and what they need to stay the course.

T.O.R.P....man that would be a wonderful thing to have wouldn't it? The thing is all these things that I am learning about this horrible disease makes me want to help others and if I wasn't in my situation right now, I would love to volunteer at the day care place she has just started in. AND..after reading your post, I thought how cool it would be to be able to have something like that available. I would love to suggest it to someone and even help start it up, but right now there is no way. Maybe someday.

I read an interesting article the other day (I think in the New York Times) about a new service offered by a facility there that's run by a Jewish charitable group that is like an elder day care but it's an overnight program for those with sundowning elders. They have activities, places to rest, etc. overnight so that the families can get a good night's rest.

Isn't that brilliant?

Your post shows how much you care for your mom. Definitely would be a big task to you. If she is not comfortable, why not try to hire an home carer at house. I know it is easier than done. I work at home care tulsa home care tulsa and lot of people approach me to work as home taker.

WaHOOO, That is soo cool. Even 2 half days is gonna make a world of difference. I don't doubt there will be days she isn't happy about going, but she very well may be once she is there, so keep it up.

Many of us have found that telling them in advance of things can cause anxiety. Play that part by ear. Sometimes it is best to say nothing until time to get ready to go. Other times, it gives something to look forward to (over and over).
This is GREAT NEWS.

I found one here that was like $39 a week, ran by the city. Place was VERY nice, but I couldnt' get Mom to even go there at all. Glad she liked it, and hopefully you can ease her into more hours there!

Bev, My mom went to a daycare program back in 2000 and like you we started 2 days a week. She had told me she didn't want to be around all the old people so I told her that it's a job so she can help them. (I informed the staff of this as well and they agreed to try it) It worked out very well and she was happy. It also gave me a much needed peace of mind while I was at work. Hope it all goes well. After the regular day care I was able to place her in a medical day care when she needed more supervision till we had a live in due to a problem with non payment of the day care.

Day care worked GREAT! She enjoyed it and said everyone was really nice and wants to go back again. I couldn't be happier!

BC...my leg is "ok". It was doing better and then I was on it a bit too much, so I am going to try to stay off it a bit more again. Doc said it would take months to get back to normal, so I guess I will be slowing my tail down some. *S*

Bev, It sounds worth a try, usually it is less expensive than a private sitter, and the staff is experienced. I know this has worked for others and I hope it works for you. You really do need a break.

How is your leg?