ive done home health in the past however taking care of my grandmother is one of the hardest things i have ever done.
i try to give her, her breathing treatments shes suppose to have every 6 hours she refuses i usually get her to do them at least once a day. since she came home from the nursing home i havent been able to get her to shower or change her clothes she came home on monday night. she needs to have her blood sugar checked 3 times a day i am lucky if i can get her to let me do it once a day. she wont do her PT exersizes
shes 85 years old and until she got sick she was very independant she even drove and now i just dont know what to do i try to tell her that she needs to do all the things the dr wants her to to get better but she just says she doesnt care. i am at a loss for what to do

Can you talk to her doctor? Tell him you need a nurse to come and check her once a week.

I know once we got that started, they also asked if we needed someone to come bathe her. At first, we didn't do that, as we had a shower chair, and Mom would take a shower once a week. Till I started having trouble getting Mom to take a shower...

After that, I talked to our home health nurse, she set it up where Mom got a bath 2-3 times a week.

They also have physical therapists too. And medicare does cover all of this!

Elders don't adjust to a new environment in a week. Even if its a wonderful move for them. It takes a while for them to adjust to living with you, and you having them there. But the adjustment will happen in time. Hang tight, and remember to breathe.

Y I dont know what type of O2 delivery you have (whether its a standard plug in concentrator or "liquid")
But the liquid (in the large silver canister) is much better for them then the standard concentrator delivery.
Call up the company that supplies your O2 and ask if they can give you a rough estimate on how many deliveries you would require to have gran put on the liquid O2 if you dont have it already.
Sometimes it is a hassle if they are on higher LPM's but the benefits far outweigh the negatives and its self contained in other words if the electricity happens to go out shes safe as you dont have to plug this particular unit in.
Theres also a neat lil portable that goes along with this type of system thats more manageable when you need to go out for short periods of time.
Another thing too is to get the mask for the albuterol (the one that covers the nose and mouth) so that she gets the maximum amount into her lungs and as MW said she does need to sit upright to get the full benefits of the treatment.
Next step if she is indeed a religious person as BC suggests maybe a friendly "visit" from her minister/preacher wouldnt be out of line.
I firmly believe Gran is still here for a reason her work on earth is not at an end just yet, get philosophical with her...
We all leave a mark upon someones life if shes so hell bent on trying to leave and isnt successful at it then ask her what unfinished business she has left.
Until she figures that out (or admits to it) she is here so why not try and make the very best of it if at all possible knowaddimean.
Sometimes we need to talk truth (compassionately of course) with them so that they find their own way to go on

I might be thinking of a different thing altogether, but for the breathing treatment, is it a thing that looks like a two handled mug with the hose and mouthpiece coming out of it?
If not, is it something she COULD hold with 2 hands? Maybe you could try this.
Picture a girl who's a little more developed than the rest of the girls in her class, and how she holds her shoulders and hunches over to "hide" her assets. It's very difficult to breathe like that, so the first thing is DON"T let Mom lean forward. Have her sit up as straight as she possibly can. She needs to use both hands to hold the thing up to her mouth.
Now, when she takes a breath, see if she can move her elbows away from her sides, as high as she can (even I can't get them level with my shoulders). That expands the ribcage and gives the air and medication a better chance.
This posture, goofy as it may look, will also help if someone is just coughing.
Blood sugar? Ask her what she wants to eat, and then tell her you should probably check to see how much of it she can eat. Or what kind of snack (if any) you two can share before bedtime.
Or if she can have pancakes with syrup or plain ol' oatmeal for breakfast.
When Don was being fretful about being useless and wondering why God didn't just take him, he was in pain, didn't care, etc. I just told him that God wanted ME to have a little more patience, and who better to learn it with than someone I loved very much.
Gotta tell ya' I developed some useful skills during that time. As everyone here will agree, this is the hardest job we'll ever love.

Ymyers, When my mother went through a spell of asking why she was still here, I relied on her faith for an answer. That God must still have something for her to do (sometimes I would point out that she was the only one who would give Lisa a job), and that we don't know the number of our days, so just in case the plan is to be here for some time to come, we need to set our hearts right to make the best of it.

Does she have a minister or other religious authority that will come to visit? You can show respect to the idea that she is ready to go, but still point out that we don't get to pick our time and should be as comfortable and strong as we have the opportunity to be.. Her church leader may get through to her, or at least if she knows someone is coming to see her, she may agree to get cleaned up. That in itself might help her feel better.

her breathing is labored like she cant take a deep breath. i have gotten her to do a breathing treatment once a day but no more than that. i did talk to her today, it was acctually a good day til then, not gonna go into all the details but the bottom line is she feels she has lived her life and wants to die, or be with the lord as she put it.

quote:

I know that albuterol makes my nephew kind of unmanageable, but he's a kid.

Same here Torp my hunny knows exactly when Iv been taking mine It gets me grouchy as all get out too.
Ymyers she can have "rattling" in the chest and not feel "distress" maybe thats what your hearing.
Does it sound like mucus down in her chest?
That doesnt nessesarily mean shes having a problem breathing like someone sitting on her chest it could just mean she needs to try and cough it up.
How about asking her what she feels like when you hear that particular noise your hearing and then ask if she feels any tightness in her chest.
In other words get her to talk about it without telling her she needs the treatment then tell her if she has trouble breathing at all to try a treatment and see if it helps.
Cajole her back door her however you get her to do something she doesnt want to do knowaddimean.
This is where the creative thinking cap comes in real handy.
You have to be ever observant as to what works with her and what doesnt so you can incorporate it into your routine with her.
If bribing is a way to get her to do something then thats what you do and if its joking then do that.
Sometimes being a "General" works with them sometimes not so much

I know that albuterol makes my nephew kind of unmanageable, but he's a kid. You might ask her doctor about side effects of her meds.

quote:

she just says she doesnt care

That does usually indicate depression and it is to be expected when someone goes from being so independent to being a "burden". I am curious about the medical crisis that required her to go to a NH. Was that for rehab after a fall, heart attack?. Some meds have a side effect of depression as well, and if her oxygen levels are low, she will feel tired and depressed as well. So one problem feeds another and then it all starts over again.

No wonder you are frustrated. Are you caring for her in HER home or yours? Can you get her out for a ride? There must be something she wants that you can use to bargain for (if she gets cleaned up you will take her out for a ride ). Surely she would not want anyone to come for a visit and catch her in dirty clothes, especially not her great grandchildren (your niece and nephew, sorry that your mother couldn't bring them to see their great granny).

How much assistance does she need to bathe? Is this refusal a matter of modesty or resentment about being helpless? There are ways around these issues, but if she is seeing you as a child you may have to be really sneaky.

I hope you can get the doc to send home health for some visits to get things started. As the others have said, she may listen to strangers better than a grandchild, but if they can get a routine going, then she may let you continue it because she will know that you "have had proper instruction".

My heart goes out to both of you. It is no simple matter to care for someone who doesn't care and getting her to care will be the big trick. It may take an anti depressant or a bargain, a bribe, a promise, There IS something that does still mean something to her.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Bobcat,

And a third ditto to T.O.R.P.'s advice -- my mom wouldn't do anything for me but she did listen to the home therapists her doctor ordered for her. Mostly. And when they left, it was easier for me to talk her into following their directions because we were backing each other up.

her breathing treatments are for copd its albuteral and another med that i can never remember the name of, as for her kids 2 of them live far away, my mom lives 2 hours away and is willing to come help but she had my niece and nephew this week and my aunt is willing to help but she has a full time job and a family to take care . but they do call n stuff and have talked to her. i do keep a log of whats going on with her also.
she just doesnt feel that she needs the treatment even if i can hear her having trouble breathing

as for talkin to her dr i think hes an idiot and he only hears what and who he wants to but grandma likes him

Howdy Ymyers welcome in
Ditto to what Torp said sometimes it is easier to get them to do things when its a stranger and not a relative and please take the advise of going to her PCP to talk about an anti depressant,
Also keep a journal on her daily care and notate her refusal of treatment you have to be careful with this part of care giving and also inform her PCP that she is refusing to go along with the program.
How about her children (your mom or dad aunts uncles) are they not willing to help you out?
Maybe one of them can convince her to cooperate?
Her breathing treatments why is she taking them?
Whats her O2 saturation maybe she feels she doesnt need it every 6 hours because she is not feeling any respiratory distress?
Im not saying its ok to pass a treatment up Im just giving you a reasonable explanation as to why shes refusing it because I cant imagine she would want to endure SOB if she didnt have to.

You might talk to her doctor and see if perhaps he thinks she needs an antidepressant. He might be able to get some home health ordered on a temporary basis as well.

For some reason, sometimes they are more cooperative with a stranger who is sent by their doctor than they are with family, especially a child or grandchild. No matter how old we get, our parents tend to view us as little kids and tend to be disinclined to take directions from us.

In our case, we had the opposite problem. She wanted her family to do everything and refused to cooperate with the nurses and aides. She came from a somewhat clannish background so doesn't trust "strangers."