If you are a home caregiver for your parent please read my posting on Family Dynamics so what is happening to me does not happen to you and your family. If I can make a difference out there even just for one person's life it is worth it. This disease has the power not only can destroy our love one but has the power to have caregivers give up their lives and not be able to foster friendships but to destroy families also.

Mary ann, I wish I had answers for you.Families , some, never stop amazing me at their lack of compassion.It is usually a pattern of behavior they have shown for a very long time and were allowed to get away with it.I wish I had more to offer.I admire you for continuing to want mother to have a xmas.Character , my friend, something you have alot of.Actually you should pity your brother for what he has become.Some day this will come back and bite him , you know where.

Below is my post from Oct. As of now we have a nice live in lady that takes care of my mom Mon thru Fri. I had to get a second job to help and to pay off my bills. My brother is still running the show and showed up today to pay her and was just so nice as I was struggleing to get plastic on my mom's bedroom windows. The front ones do not have any glass or screens so I was shrink wrapping the outside to cut down on the draft.The lady couldn't believe he just stood there and didn't help me as I was hanging two floors up. He called me tonight to complain that the water bill was not paid but I never got a bill. Needless to say he started yelling that I should know when things are due. I'm just taking things day by day and decorating for Christmas knowing it may be the last one here. Well if you have any questions I'll be happy to try to help you out.

posted October 10, 2004 06:54 AM
Hi all. I've been sole caregiver for my mom, now with advanced alzheimer, for the past five years. I am a widow with an 18 year old child that is attending technical college. My son and I have been managing to care for my mom with daycare during work/school hours. Two weeks ago I got a call in work that that Wed. would be my mom's last day in daycare do to nonpayment of her bill. My brother, who does not live here and sees my mom perhaps three hours on a Sun. so I can food shop, has financial power of attorney and has not paid her bill and told me he doesn't have the money to do it. I've had to get a health aid in while I work and he informed me yesterday that he wants my son and I to move out of the house. House in mother's name. He said he'll then put her in a nursing home and won't have to be bothered. I'm really scared as I have no money to move as I'm trying to pay off my own bills and student loans and I'm going to a lawyer on Tues. for a free consultation to see if I have any rights. I just want to be able to get my son through school, he graduates next July and keep my mom at home as it was her request and wouldn't sign over the house to me years ago for fear of my putting her into the home. It seems my brother has made serveral apts. in the past with the daycare and has not showed up. Of course he has a nice big house, wife doesn't work and makes over 100,000.00 compared to my if I'm lucky 15,000. I only work part time to accomidate mom's daycare schedule. HELP!! I feel like all is over. I'm only 47 and has been a widow for 6 years. How could the only family memember I have do something like this? Especially to his only blood nephew who has done nothing but give up his time to help us. Sorry for rambleing his Sunday morning but I can't sleep. Thanks for listening and if anybody out there has any advice thank you.

MaryAnn , we are interested in anything you have to contribute.

I am interested in your nessage,