im still staying with grandma and taking care of her, she was doing good for awhile so good that my lovly aunt and grandma convinced the doctor that she doesnt need anyone to care for her, however shortly after that she began having hallucinations i brought her to the dr, and he said she does need someone to care for her, which is fine ill stay, the dr put her on seraquil and told her he was refering her to a psyciatrist. while this was all going on she also got a letter saying her lisences are susspened until she can be reviewed.
but heres my problem grandma doesnt believe there is anything wrong with her she feels we (me my mom and my 2 uncles, my uncles have finally stepped up even though they are 100's of miles away) are ganging up on her she tells me shes not taken those meds, shes not seein a psyciatrits and shes not going back to that doctor because there is nothing wrong with her and if she dies she dies she wont be a burden then and we will all be happy. we all tell her shes not a burden and the doctor is there to help her but she she doesnt believe that. any one have any advice how to deal with this?

Moms Buddy is right. There are legal issues that can come from this. Something your mom and uncles need to look into. As much as you love her and want to be there for her it's important that you move on and allow them to see how much help she truly needs. Be strong.

That other Dr is detrimental to her AD mind.I'd ditch that Dr.
I agree APS will help......

took grandma to the dr the other day, she wouldnt let me go in the room with her, she came out and informed me she was not going to that quack again, then she told me to bring her to her former dr (my mom had called this other dr to see if he would take her back as a patient and he said no) we get there and that dr takes her back and takes her off any psych drugs shes on, cuz she doesnt need them
later that evening grandma informs me that she is all better now and that i dont need to stay with her anymore, her and my auntie discussed this and they both feel grandma can care for herself.
which is fine with me, i dont feel she is better but if thats what her and auntie want im gone, i have been trying to do this for the last month

Ymyers this is a difficult time for not only your gran but you as well.
As MB states this is common with elderly people but she knows whats going on with herself shes just scared and who wouldnt be?
Please dont throw it up in her face that she is declining just be there for her like you always have...talk about the weather birds a tv show something other than the big pink elephant in the room and make sure others dont yell at her either about what she cant do it serves NO purpose other than upsetting her.
Good for her PCP having her license revoked now that was quick! Sometimes its like pulling teeth to get that done and not be the bad guy.

My suggestion would be to allow this whole situation to calm down for a few weeks then make the doctors appt's and not tell her which doc shes seeing.
It is permissible to lie in this situation just make sure the rest of this family is on the same page.
If they need help coping with these changes send them here to ask the tough questions
Were open 24/7/365

Ymyers, this is a common situation with elderly folks. When their cognitive abilities begin to decline, they are not able to make good decisions for themselves... Often the first thing to go are inhibitions and reasoning abilities. It will be up to her kids (your mother & uncles) to either convince her to submit to the testing needed to determine if she has a disease, such as Alzheimer's, etc., that is causing her to lose her functional abilities. It would be more helpful to have her evaluated by a geriatric neurologist because I do not think her condition is psychiatric in origin unless she has a life-long history of mental health issues. While she may resist seeing a shrink, she may submit to a neuro workup which is probably the wiser route for her care anyway. Please suggest this to your Mom, et al. Please understand that she is frightened about all these changes she sees in herself and that those around her are reporting to her. No one wants to think they are losing their cognitive abilities! No one wants to be told what to do! A more subtle approach might work better. If she continues having trouble and resists efforts to h elp her, your Mom & Uncles may have to call in Adult Protection Services to evaluate her condition and needs against her will. They might even have to seek custody of her via the courts. These are legal issues & decisions they have to deal with. I think your decision to move out and return to school was a good one because as long as you are there assisting her, the more difficult it becomes to demonstrate that she cannot care for herself.

Keep us posted!