SO, I need some advice please. Mom has not been doing good for a few weeks, really since her b'day a couple of weeks ago. Everything seems to be changing and it seems like it is kind of fast. One of the biggest changes is that she has been having alot of "accidents" lately and after ALOT of disagreeing, she is now wearing her "adult panties". I am going to call her doc on Monday because all this seems like a big change suddenly. I am used to her bladder accidents, but this is all new and it is happening several times a day and she has no idea that it is happening. I won't go into the details of it, but I'm sure you all know what I am talking about. She is so very private about her body and is having a really really hard time dealing with this, so much so that she hides the dirty diapers in her closet, her dresser drawers and then doesn't remember that she has done it. I need some suggestions on what is happening, how to handle this and just plain HELP!!!!!!

Thank you all for you suggestions and advice. Dochka..the thread you linked me to is great and packed full of some info. We are still having some problems, she is wanting her regular panties back, I took them out and put the others in her drawer so they would be there for her. Now she is wanting them back, because she "doesn't need" the others, even though as she is telling me this, I am cleaning up after her, changing her gown, sheets, etc. Her confusion is much worse and she just seems very,very down and keeps saying "just put me away." Again....all very sad. This is such a HORRIBLE disease.

Hi Bev. So sorry to hear you are going through this. Doesn't matter why,,it is hard. That's a really good thread Dochka linked you to, and so is the thread "in the thread". My Mom is still not at ease that she needs help with toileting and it is even more so now. It scares her that this basic function is not in her control. It was the "sign" that Daddy was leaving us. In his case it was true. He tumbled down a steep slope, start to finish less than 18 months. For Mom, it has been a up and down and down for 9 years.

Really what you are facing has never been a part of Mom's problem. By the time she was not able to handle toileting alone she was not physically able to hide the evidence. I was spared finding soiled pullups in odd places.

Perhaps it will help to regularly remind your mother that it is time to go to the bathroom. For a while you might find a schedule that will work, every 2 or 3 hours. Try to be very matter of fact, like it is totally normal to assist her if she needs it. With Mom, I talk about anything but the task of the moment.

Wishing you hugs, and cotton candy and all. It it can be very scary.

Dochka I swear to god I was tryin to find that one the other day thank you it had me crackin up thinkin about some of those times....ok maybe not so much when your hand is involved tryin to keep it contained....GLOVELESS!

Mom, once upon a time I needed your help to keep me clean and dry. Won't you let me help you with this now? I love you, Mom.

I'm giving you this link to a thread discussion I remember from a while back. It's called The Brown Glove. Funny and not so much. It would be good to read what others have gone through with this problem.

http://eldercare.infopop.cc/ev...781082325#7781082325

Aaahhhh alrighty then my all time fav problemo lol POOP!
Is it loose?
If it is its adding to the dehydration issue which in turn will produce even more altered behavior....
So...any changes in meds lately?
Changes in diet?
Hmmm sneaking foods???
Dont like drinking then mushy mushy mushy.
Puddings, Jello, fruit, smoothies, although that'll get you some poop but hey its hydration none the less.
Popsicles, ice cream...
Waitaminute you know this stuff already lol
Which means your gonna hafta git more creative in getting her to consume some moosh make a fruit smoothie and drink some with her..
"Oh Ma ya gotta try this its FABULOUS!"
Ok use your own words lol
Poor baby I feel so bad I can just imagine how she feels...you too its gotta be breaking your heart (((hugs)))

BG...nope, not taking about peeing! I always watch for that dreaded UTI, but urine smell is not that strong., but I was unaware of the home kit, I will check into that.

Skin is dry, and I try my best to keep her hydratedm, but this is also a challenge. She doesn't want to drink anything, so if I didn't keep a watch on what goes in, she would have her morning cup of joe and that would be it!

Cleaning up....she is stil doing her best to clean herself up, but...there is more and more of me helping her with that job, when I can catch her. She is becoming a master of hiding things from me. If I didn't help, she surely would be having more problems. This is what is causing her so much "anx". She keeps repeating "I never thought anyone would have to do that for me", "I never wanted to be any trouble", and my favorite.."I haven't had any problems, why do I have to wear these "diapers"....and that is the saddest part...she doesn't remember messing in her pants and needing help.

Im thinking your speaking of urinating FT correct?
Is the smell mild moderate or strong?
If moderate to strong smell then Id have her checked for a UTI.
Hell Id do it since shes incontinent anyhow the chances are so much greater at this point anyhow so it doesnt hurt to check regularly they even sell a home test kit at drug stores now so pick one up to keep at home.
You know sometimes they just go through periods of continence then all of a sudden it all changes but what your saying sounds a little more than that so Id make an appt with her PCP toot sweet.
Also hows her skin looking? Dry/flaky, is she hydrating throughout the day?
And as for "clean up" are you assisting her or is she doing this herself?
I ask because you mention she is "private" so the possibility shes wiping back to front contaminating her perineal area is great, you know what I mean.....

Also just for sanity sake shes hiding these offending objects because she is ashamed hun, remember they are still aware of what they are doing to a certain extent, my guess is she doesnt want to disappoint you