Found out today that my brother in law has a malignant brain tumor and it is not a good prognosis. I really feel like I need to be with my sister in law even though all her children are there, but she has always been around for us and I feel the need to be there. Problem of course, is that I can't take mom with me and I can't leave her. SIL is about 4 hours away so I can't even do it for a day trip. Sometimes I just can't believe that my life has changed so dramatically and I can't just do what I want anymore and I get angry about it. This is the only place I feel "safe" for saying something that sounds so terrible, but reight now that is how I feel. Holidays were ok, but I didn't get to see 2 of my children because they can't trael here because of time,etc and I always went to them if they couldn't come home. Now I can't do that either, so there is more feeling sorry fo rmyself because I missed my kids over the holidays. I know, I honestly do know, that this is a very selfish way to be feeling. Poor mom has lost so much and her life has changed so much more than mine, so ishould slap myself for feeling like this.

Ok...enough venting. I will have a good cry and feel all better I hope.

I totally understand and I am so sorry for all you aer going through. aking care of a loved one is stress enough.

Don't beat yourself up...you are doing all you can. Call your SIL and talk to her, that will make her feel better too.

I understand about the kids. One of the things I have always been so proud of was my tie to my daughters...and I feel I have stretched it to its limit now, but they do understand...I am sure your kids do too!

I know there are times, we all feel so confined, when we want to be in 2 places at one time and it just can't be done.

Can you send them a card, and tell them you'd be there if you could, but you don't have anyone to help you right now?

So sorry your children didn't come for Christmas. There was a few I missed over Christmas too. They just didn't get their presents! (yea, I have a mean streak too).

Bev, I just tried to reply to this thread, and lost my post. I am so sorry to hear this news, and very sorry to be so late in my reply. Hugs to you. Our commitment to our LOs are not convenient at times like this. It is hard to hold fast. Hang in there. I will light a candle for your BIL in the ECO candle room.

Oh man - none of y'all needed this extra worry and angst. I HOPE that you will encourage your bro & SIL to get second opinions... I have had several friends who received rough news and checked out other places and found treatment that extended their quality of life and longevity from what the first buncha coconuts said. It NEVER hurts to check, especially if the news is grim!! I hope things turn our well for him!

{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Sweetie I am so sorry! {{{HUGS}}}
You are NOT being selfish, your entitled to feel this way our freedom IS cut short by what we do but that is also the nature of being a compassionate person and CG...it goes with the territory.
I am often frustrated at how short my leash is and every once in a while I snap a lil too doesnt mean thats really who I am, just means Id like to share a hug with someone in need and I just cant.
Is there anyway you can get someone to sit with mom for a few days while you go visit your BIL & SIL?
Start checking Im sure someone will step up so you can get some one on one time with your family....Id do it in a heartbeat if I was near, so start askin and uh it aint against no laws to lay a lil guilt on either We wont tell if you dont