Yesterday, my husband actually snapped his fingers in my face, more than once, and told me to "get moving", re: preparation of dinner, and then again when I was trying to get my mom ready for an evening outing. I am sick and tired of his hang dog face and all the whining that goes with it. Damn it! I'd like to kick his ass right outta here. Poor mama wasn't able to dress herself in a proper outfit last night, so I was trying to help her change, without offending her. My husband is a compulsive on-time guy and I'm a whatever-kind-of-girl...especially with mom's condition. Plans and emotions change in a heartbeat and I'm just trying to keep the ship afloat without tossing anyone overboard, including myself. I know this is hard for him, but I'm on empty. He took care of his late wife for 13 years until she passed away from a rare heart/lung disease so he's no stranger to the stressors. He has friends that live in the area and he never calls them. I'm sick and tired of being "understanding". Screw that! He needs to buck up or shove off! My mom can feel his vibes and it upsets her. "Did I do something wrong to upset him?" she'll ask after he's slammed a door or made a face. Even the caregivers roll their eyes. Usually we just laugh it off, but last night he really pissed me off. My stomach is in knots. He's Eeyore in the flesh and it ain't cute! I'd like to chew him a new one, but that's a fruitless venture. Crap! I'm going to have a good day if it kills me.
Nurse Ratshit

quote:

I was so afraid you guys were going to tell me to be more understanding and then I'd have to leave you forever Razz Kids left today. Hubby called all happy. I responded kindly. He has NOOOOO idea he's walking into a minefield...and he thought VietNam was bad...bush league...

*snork* That line wuz so choice, I read it to my vet husband who laughed (nervously) and mumbled "po' sumbitch." ROTFLMAO - he's been there, too! And I can think of a time or two he would have rather been back in the jungle!

I think sometimes we get into bad habits with the way we act... a couple of years ago, me & Mr MB were talking about some hert-warming story and were making snide remarks and I paused and HEARD us and asked him, when did we become so cynical?!! I think it's like that with relationships, too. Instead of treasuring one another every moment we are granted, the familiarity breeding contempt thing comes out... and we growl at stuff even when we are not in a particularly sour mood... or behave like pompous spoiled little kings and queens! We have been needling my husband about being an Ol' Curmudgeon over the past year, and he has actually been behaving more lovingly... Actually, it's real nice but kinda unnerving...

I hope he sees the light without having to whomp him upside the head...

I LOVE riding the elephants and camels, but I don't trust the camels - they will spit at you!

Oh and then there's the non-running buick in the yard that hasn't run since that danged hurricane (of COURSE a tree didn't fall on THAT one!), but it's insured and legal in every way. Sure would be nice if it'd crank every now and again...

A CAROUSEL ride!! Go ahead, Eeyore!!

Beautiful ladies! You sooo rock my world. I didn't kill the sononthebeach, nor did we have a discussion yet. He acted like this in front of my kids and grandkids. I'm sure he thinks it's blown over, but his arse is going to have more than one orifice after all. I was so afraid you guys were going to tell me to be more understanding and then I'd have to leave you forever Kids left today. Hubby called all happy. I responded kindly. He has NOOOOO idea he's walking into a minefield...and he thought VietNam was bad...bush league...I will bide my time as I do not want to upset my mama. Although I think she'd get quite a kick out of it, cuz she's tired of his Eeyore mannerisms too. Yes he as issues, and I'd like to cancel my susbscription Ooops...gosh I'm getting all worked up again. B-Girl you made me laugh out loud! I love you! Breaking glass in the garbage is a great idea, but I was more thinkin' on the line of body parts Actually I want you all to know I had a FABULOUS DAY after all. Eeyore even went to the Zoolights with us and rode on the carousel. (Something he would normally NEVER do) The gchirldren's sweet begging helped. I even got to ride on a real camel with my 9 year old and 5 year old. We had a blast!

This morning Eeyore's ignition switch broke on the truck he was supposed to sell over a year ago, but instead has sunk about $1500 so far, not including the insurance we paid while he let it sit at the mechanic's house for 7 months Deep breath...Calm blue ocean...Calm blue ocean...that's better. Anyways. His problems are his, not mine and I thank God for all of you and for every special angel He has put in my life, especially since we relocated to AZ from Chicago just over 2 years ago.

I'm heading over to the bar...let's see if I make it there without instructions.

quote:

Yesterday, my husband actually snapped his fingers in my face, more than once, and told me to "get moving", re: preparation of dinner, and then again when I was trying to get my mom ready for an evening outing.

I haven't even gotten much farther than this, Kathleen, before I am compelled to ask if he is able to move those fingers yet? Sorry, but I don't take chit like that at ALL! I would have stopped him dead in his tracks and asked him EXACTLY who he thought he was addressing because NO ONE talks to me like that in MY own damn home and remains in residence there... Tell him how you feel and do NOT take it! As you said, he should KNOW how all this feels, so if he has forgotten, a teacher needs to appear real dang quick!

I DO understand how incredibly irritating it is for others to have to wait on us... I am like you - I do the best I can to make appointments, etc. on time, but we get there when we get there. No sense in adding a buncha Type A stress to the fray! "Chewing him a new one" is NOT such a bad idea, particularly if you can modify it a little so as not to alienate him. You need to make him listen because this is adding to YOUR tension and is simply not necessary! I realize that afte his wife and now this, he may be sick of the "nursing the febrile" thing, but ya don't get to pick!

If it's any consolation, I have had the same sort of discussion with my own family members from time to time and although they are not angels, they DO shape up a little and step up more when things are explained to them just right...

I hope you shake off the upset and HAVE a good day! You deserve it!!
Now SNAP to it!
*...runs, ducking for cover...*

FR its because we teach em which buttons to push! My lil tactic never let em see ya sweat...then when they go too far snap em back in place! None of that nicey nice crap full boar anger that tells em who their dealin with...anybody can play elementary school yard games thats nothin...so let it roll off da back...pick and choose the one thing that matters most...in my world behavior like this gets a real quick slap down. There is NO excuse for sh** disturbers or abuse of any kind.It tells me there is something seriously wrong deep down with the individual in that they dont have any respect for the situation/illness or the persons involved here... mad or not its not to be tolerated on any level.
Ok soap box moment over *chuckle*

And DW welcome in so glad to see ya here! That DIL of yours...did ya change the door locks yet?! Interlopers gotta love em!

i hate when others make you feel guilty..kids do that to us too..the older they get the worse they are sometimes..husbands are like kids..

Wouldn't you just love to chop him off at the knees, or neck, or somewhere in between?
My husband used to be like that - very controlling and demanding; made you feel like your feelings and opinions counted for nothing - now he's the one with Vascular Dementia, and it's just worse, worse, worse.
I sometimes wonder if we were ALL better off before the CHF hospitailzed hime, and they put him on digixon and synthroid. The only things he was taking before were oxycontin and an anti-depressant. He slept most of the time, but at least he wasn't demanding I get things done "yesterday"!! Or accusing me of seeing someone else. That might be his daughter's fault. He never brings up the subject of our love life until he's spent the day with her.
And SHE's a whole 'nuther story for this wall.
Kathleen, do you think he'd listen if you told him he better lighten up, or he'll probably end up with a heart attack, or stroking out big time?

Here you go my love....I am soo very angry I can not get past the first sentence for a minute or two....
SO HELP ME GAWD! I get that your feelin a lil lonely BUT IF YOU EVER EVER SNAP THAT GOD DAM finger in my face one more tim your gonna be eating that hand if you can still open that mouth after I punch the livin crap outta you!
Devils advocate my ass I aint in the mood at the moment On time my ass ill give him on time! goin off to break sumfin now!

Ok but Im still mad I had ta go outside to the garbage can to break the jar (its garbage day) neigbor probably thinks Im looney tunes who cares.
So Mr on time has done this crap before dont make him a freakin saint...just tells me he probably treated...Ok I wont go there...But when he mixes it up in moms presence thats a WHOLE nuther matter! Still fumin bear with me baby! Tell "Mr Happy" I said..he makes mom feel unwelcome ILL COME over there and knock some manners into him! Woman I am right there with you my heart is racin and my blood is boilin...Im sorry its one thing to snap at you (and that aint right) but when you make a sick elderly person feel unwelcome and on edge, then you have me to deal with and sista I aint nice then....Kath git the can of whoop ass out on this man and tell him to change his tune NOW...Girl if I was one of those CG's it wouldnt take me but a split second to call someone out on their bad behavior thats a fact a few have had to deal with in the past...And no I certainly didnt get fired for it either. THIS is about MOM NOT his overbearing egotistical self

(sorry baby this fries me!)

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Bunnys_grl,