• You're not ready for a NH.
  
• You can't go into AL because of this state's ass-end Medicaid laws -- yeah, like WHY SHOULD IT ONLY BE FOR REGULAR AL? THEY DON'T NEED IT AS MUCH AS YOU DO!!!!!
  
• (oh yeah, that's right, who the fuck wants to pay for dementia? Wait 10-20 years until there's an epidemic. The feds will be sorry).
  
• Most important:
  WHAT THE HOLY FUCK AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU???

You're going to need a wheelchair soon.
I'm not worried about getting one because you'll have the Madicaid waiver.
It's what I'm going to do when you need it.

Do you realize I'm going to end up having to remodel THE ENTIRE FUCKING HOUSE? It's much more than installing ramps and using adaptive door hinges. Passageways need to be widened. THe entire side door area needs to be knocked out. Ditto the front and back doors. We'll lose most of our driveway for a ramp. The pitch is too steep on the front stairs. The den area -- the only place we have to put you if and when you need the wheelchair -- needs to be enlarged, which means we'll lose the back part of the kitchen. DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH THIS IS GOING TO COST???

Oh, and yeah, HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO PAY FOR IT? I don't trust reverse mortgages. I REFUSE to have my interhitance beholden to a lender. And yeah, 9 times out of 10 the RM never runs out because the LO dies in the midst of it But knowing Mom, she'll be the exception. Thanks a lot.

I don't care if I sound like a angsty 16-year old.

I don't care if I sound selfish.

I HAVE NOBODY BUT MYSELF TO SHARE THIS WITH BECAUSE HUBBY REFUSES TO LISTEN TO ME. Oh yeah, Mom...thanks for ruining my marriage. Thanks a lot. I know you didn't and still don't mean to, but you did/are.

Now I've got to get you up and dressed and down here, Mom. I'm praying I'll find you dead in your sleep one of these days. It'll make my life so much easier.

Hugs to you. I understand. I rent, not own, so far I've been able to move every year into a new place that better accomodates Dad's needs. Of course, each one is more expensive, we started out in a $470 apartment and we are now leasing a $1050 house. In March I'll need to move again, I'm sure by then he won't be able to use the walker at all. I just have no idea where we will go. There are so few ranch style homes for rent, and with all the yelling I can't move him back into an apartment.
Right now I'm just hoping to hit the lotto or something.
And yeah, I lost a husband and now my boyfriend because they just can't deal with the smells, behaviors and the fact that I am completely stressed all the time.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Jo O,

Oh Em.....Please know we understand your frustration at this....I myself can also see this in my hunny here when his frustration is hitting levels.....And boy is it ever! I hate the fact money always factors into this crap and how it seems to always errode the sanctity of marriage....man I feel for you really...it always always comes down to that.
Truly.... I am sending you out a big hug and lots of love your way

*HUGS* to you embersmom. I have no words of wisdom just know that I am here.

You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers.