I have a bad leg….comes and goes. When it’s bad, it prevents me from walking without limping. Have had it for years and years. It usually is brought on when I’m wearing flat shoes or sandals. It’s acting up. Got a phone call from the aid this morning, say’s she can’t come today….this happens too frequently but between her and the other aid, when they both show up, things are taken care of and I’m relieved. It’s too difficult finding another aid….more have left than have stayed and for the most part, she’s reliable. She complains a lot, comes in most times telling me that she doesn’t feel well or, this hurts her, doesn’t communicate at all with my father, shows no compassion….just does what she has to but what she has to do is immeasurable and I’m still thankful for her. But on days like this, I fall apart, I can’t keep things in perspective. Everything is just too much. With my leg in great pain, lifting my father up, transferring him to the wheelchair, getting him into the bathroom, being more delayed to run the errands I need to……it all sucks. This could go on for another 10 years and I don’t want to give up those many years I might have to just breathe without feeling like I’m going to burst. I walk around as it is, about to burst most times and without any help this morning, it brings up the worst in what I’m dealing with. Don’t complain to anyone on the outside. The only one I might say anything to is my aunt, if she asks and the last time I told her how things were going, her reply to me was, “Sandy, your father is going to outlive you. Sorry, I know that’s not the answer you want to hear. Gotta go now.”

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone.

Sandy is there anyway you can call the agency and ask them for a backup when this happens? Ide like to agree with you on this cg but I cant her/his job is to come in your door and leave their problems at home. Its not your business. I think she is probably doing this to make you feel sorry for her so she doesnt have to work that hard...My cousin is going through this same thing right now with her cg to my aunt and I told her the same thing.
A CG's job is to assure that the patient they are caring for is fed medicated and clean. there is no personal talk just everyday convo if that as their responsibility is to the patient not you. (well in a way it is your respite but that is it.) But you know what I am saying...a personal relationship is not the way to go here at all. You need to take care of yourself and it sounds like your aunt is saying something pretty profound to you...are you really listening to her?
No matter what we all shed a tear for you...you arent "alone" in this know that.