I'm fairly new to this and so is my Mom. All the family live hours away which makes caring for her problamatic. She has in-home care which is wondrerful, but this past weekend one of my sisters told Mom she was coming for a visit. Mom called the home care company and properly told them that family was coming. But my sister never showed! Mom is barely walking, can't cook, can't bathe w/o assist, fell 7 times last year, and doesn't remember to take her meds. I got a call from a neightbor who was concerned, thank goodness, that no one was with Mom for the weekend. So I got someone over there so the poor dear could eat. Sis thinks it's no big deal. In her mind, nothing happened, I'm over-reacting and butting into Mom's business. Mom is mad at me for getting angry with my irresponsible sister. She could have called, she could have done any mumber of things, but she never does. She leaves it for me to pick up the pieces and get yelled at for being responsible. I hate it.
Twistermom47

Siblings can be a blessing or a curse. Mine is both sometimes but with Mom he has actually been more of a blessing. (I'm still amazed). But I agree with Bunnys_girl that it sounds like your Mom may need more constant care. Have you considered assisted living? My Mom initially didn't want to go there but now loves her place. I feel better knowing that there is always someone there.

Amy who has Moms POA/DPOA? I hope you do since it sounds like you are the responsible party here and can be counted on in a pinch. Can she be moved closer to you to make this a little easier on you?
Cause seriously I think the time has come with what you have said here Mom needs constant supervision it sounds like or does someone live with her?
And also has she been diagnosed yet? If not I think I would attend to that right away then have a family meeting to discuss what comes next so that everyone is on the same page for Moms sake

Thanks everybody. I feel better. I'd like to take the bat to alot of people, but it would only result in someone going to the hospital, and then I'd feel guilty, and well ... I'm pretty much at the limit of how much guilt I can handle at the moment. The home-care folks have been properly chastized(sp?)and promise it won't happen again, which sounds good, but when you're hours away its hard to check up on them. My sis, well, let's just say its par for the course.

Ditto here too Amy I happen to like the idea of the "cluebat" meself!
Call up those *clearin throat* in home care morons and tell them they ever listen to your Mom again sayin she doesnt need in home care you'll hold those lil dears responsible if anything should occur! Mom is no longer able to make decisions of this magnitude and your sister, bless her lil irresponsible heart for not relaying she wouldnt be there at all! Has she lost her mind?!
Why the heck does she think home health comes in there?! Does she think their maids?! You better check her right quick!
They are there for a reason, mom is no longer a high functioning adult and what she just did was as irresponsible as heck!
Ok rant done till next time cause Im sure we'll hear more and I forgot to say
Welcome in Amy so glad you found us and hope to see more of you! Your among friends here who understand exactly what your goin through

Oh MY GOODNESS, Amy! Is there any way you can tell the in-home care people to report to work every single day, regardless of whatever else they may be told? ...or is your mom in control of their work for her?

This is one of the most despicable things I've ever heard! You have a very good reason to be upset with your sister!

Wouldn't you love to get a big old cluebat and beat them with it until they wake up to reality?

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