But wow, it was a mess the other day. Mom's had bronchitis. She just quit eating period. I tried home made chicken soup, went and bought 4 different types of soup.. Still about 3 spoons a day, then she wondered "why am I so weak?".

We had a few words. I told her there is no way to get well, if she's not eating anything. She told me she was about to call someone to take her to a nursing home. I told her, they'll make you eat there, or put you on IV.

I called her home health nurse and she had a heart to heart talk with Mom. I heard Mom saying "no, I don't want to go to the hospital". Mom's been eating better, and feeling better now.

I had a meltdown, and just sat on the back porch crying. Honestly I did that more than once this past week.

I told her later I felt I was failing her. She said she felt she was failing me.

This last week, has been the roughest one yet. Yesterday was much better though. Today better too, but now I feel I'm coming down with something.

She's had 3 sicknesses since she came to live with me Dec 29th. First it was Sinus infection, then Shingles, and last week it was bronchitis. She's seen the gp more in the past 7 weeks, than I have in the last 8 years.

I'll get through this. Mom isn't a mean person, she's just 94 now, and I know being sick 3 times in 7 weeks has got to be rough on her. That along with a geographical move at 94 back to Mobile AL, from Austin Tx.

I'm so glad I found this board, as I know this isn't the first or the last meltdown I'll have before its all over with. Wished I'd found it the day of the meltdown. Thats when I can pour my feelings out.

Thanks for putting this section here. I know know I'm not alone.

Sometimes when they are not cooperating even when able to and we're losing it, the best scenario is to promise each other that' "we'll both try to do better." We're human and it's TOUGH DUTY caring for our elders. How much energy is too much, how much not enough....Argh!!! Do the best that you can, dear and that WILL be enough. The "battle" we are waging is one we are going to "lose", so take it one step at a time and be kind to yourself along the way. This stuff ain't as easy as we make it look!