OK. I am not gonna lie or candy coat it - Christmas was the shits.
Yes, we had a nice time;
Yes, we got dressed up;
Yes, we were blessed with a warm home and food to eat and decorations and presents
Yes, our family was intact once again;

BUT

YES IT SUCKED!

And yes, I am probably being damned ungrateful, but it was just sad - certainly not as sad as it could have been, but sad nonetheless. The holidays are an emotional time full of memories good and bad...

How many of you had at least ONE crying jag? Doncha HATE that chit?!!

I just wanted to 'fess up...
In case anybunny else wants to attend my little pity party, feel free to jump in!

ONE thing I AM grateful for... they have sure come a long way with kleenex - those Puffs Plus with lotion in the oval Christmas decorator box are DA BOMB!!!No raw nose!!!
...well, not AS raw...

Mother's & grandmother's revenge....oh do I remember hearing those words from both of mine. lol

It's sad when our kids make basically the right choices(not drink or drive) & still find their way into trouble.

Dealing w/it is just part of parenting, just wish it all didn't have to come a once.

Thanks for sharing mae!

Ms Liza, I know all about the ton of bricks.I could write a book of the things that happened with my kids etc that wanted to force me to get intoxicated.Until I get something resolved I was a mess.Always thinking of the worse.When you deal with everyday life and 3 kids, you are in for a ride.Bak then I was a nail bitter.When finished bitting my nails I wanted to go for the toes, but could not reach.
I recall one time when my daughter and her boyfriend had been visiting a friend.Well, in the area kids had be sucking gas out of cars.Well, they thought my daughter and boy friend fit the profile.So they were arrested, later to be cleared.I get the usual call from the police.But the worst was my daughter was not being coooperative.She was being verbal because she knew they had not done anything and they had roughed her boy friend a little.I go to the police station, the officer tells me if that were his daughter he would whop her but.I reminded him what they had done to 2 innocent people.So we come home and had that knights around the kitchen table talking.About placing your self in such away as to convince someone they had done something wrong.To say she was minced for words is an understatement.Her total converstaion was directed on the way they treated her boy friend.She never forgot this officer.As a matter of fact when his official car was parked in our parking lot illegially , she called to have it towed.
My other son and hisgirl friend had been to a party , had a few drinks and pizza.Because they did not want to drive home, which was only a mile, they pulled over the side of the road and feeell a sleep.But he left the keys in the ignition.So cops come, see them call me .In the mean time the cops tell my son to get out of the car.My son tells him he feels sick and wants to just sit.Well the cop insists and my son up chucks all over the policemen.'When I arrive the police were fine, knew they had done right.When leaving he told me I may want to take my son to the hospital as he was spitting blood.My son said "NO, IT WAS PIZZA".wELL ANOTHER MEETING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE TO SHARE MY FEELINGS WITH THEM BUT APPROVED THE FACT THEY HAD ENOUGH SENSE NOT TO DRIVE.My older son and friends, driving our car, get chased by guys in another car they did not know.They get to my neighbors house , stop and the boys in the other car jump on our car and ruined the out sides.So you see I know what that feeling of the bricks falling.
Not I watch my kids with their children and see they are beginning to experience those growing pains with their kids.
I tell them they call it a mothers revenge.

quote:

Originally posted by mae:
The one thing I have learned is nothing turns out as we plan or would like.Each day I await the next shoe to drop

I hear ya on that Mae, although sometimes I'd say it's like a brick dropping and I'm sitting waiting for the entire house to crash down around me.

The one thing I have learned is nothing turns out as we plan or would like.Each day I await the next shoe to drop

Well, guess it's my turn to join the pity party.

Christmas like Thanksgiving was quiet w/o Mom. Just hubby, kids & I. Excuses, excuses on why bro & family could not join us. I now fully understand what Mom went thru and the brick walls she hit to "try" to get his family here.

New Years came in w/a bang all right w/some problems w/my oldest being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Then the neighbor accuses him & teammate of vandelizing their house and middle child ends up in the office for fighting.

Who would have thought life would become more complicated after Mom died. I'd happily trade what's been happening for the CG duties I endured b4.

Hopefully this next week is better.

christmas did suck!! if it wasnt for my granchildren..i would have slept thru it..new years too..stayed up to see good old dick clark..and went to bed..but hey i still have some baileys left..cheers!!

Well, y'all - we do kinda sound a LITTLE like a buncha scrooges, eh? But, I know we are NOT at heart - that's just the way the chips fell this year... or the cookie crumbled... or the cards we got dealt...<insert your favorite euphamism here>

So here's the deal: I say we party up the New Year and raise a glass to good fortune for us all in the coming year!

Ready or not.... here it comes!

---

OK. Pity party's over... for now... unless someone loses it on New Year's...

We had a nice Christmas Eve. She was pretty out of it, but seemed to enjoy all the silliness that characterizes our family gatherings when the kids are all here.

Christmas Day she went to the other side of the family for the day, and we pretty much stayed in our PJ's all day.

Tuesday, she had another stroke. So now it's therapy and so forth again for swallowing and speaking issues. With her cognitive problems, therapy is a challenge. The doctor brought up hospice, but she's not suffering and isn't to the point of needing a decision on a feeding tube. My husband wants to proceed as though she is expected to be able to recover, and just see what happens.

I know about the "dull feeling". This has been such a rollercoaster over the past several years that we have had to learn to moderate our emotions as a means of survival. We're ready to accept whatever happens, and perhaps that's the point of the experience.

I am with all of you all. I had a pretty bad Christmas too.
Usually I wait for the moment when Christmas actually "Arrives". It can be with a certain song or a smell or a memory of something I always enjoyed. But this year it just has not gotten her and Christmas has come and gone.

My Teenage granddaughters were not happy with
their gifts My attempts at making special food turned out wrong. My mother slept through the Christmas Cantata after I broke my neck getting her ready to go to church and drug her (litteraly pushed in the wheel chair) to get her there.
I did get one smile from her when she opened the doll I gave her. It giggles like a little baby when you push it's tummy. No one can hear that without smiling. Even mom in her "lost" state smiled a little crooked grin. That should have been the moment Christmas arrived for me but by then I was so tired, I missed. It.
Oh well maybe things will be better next year.

Funny but I don't need the kleenex. I don't cry over thngs anymore. Just feel kind of dull all the time these days. The doll is the only thing that got a real emotion from me this whole season. Maybe I will steal it from mom and play with it.

I had my cry before Christmas when they said Mother has cancer. But maybe not. Christmas was very quiet here since there were only Mother and me here. My brother is working and couldn't make it down. But he'll be here in January for Mother's surgery. I have to confess that I thought of the old times when I wasn't in charge of Christmas, and lots of people came to dinner, but I have to say this was the easiest Christmas dinner I ever made. I bought a smoked turkey and steamed it a little so I could eat it, thawed out the dressing from Thanksgiving and opened a couple of cans. Boy, was that easy and it was good too. Of course, if I'd been alone, I'd have had pizza. I sort of wish I could go back to those days when everyone was alive and Christmas was fun, but I was a kid then. At least my brother didn't give me any trouble. Well, he did. He bought me a topee (a British pith helmet) for Christmas and was so excited that he called me and made me open the present while he was on the phone. It really was a cool present since my guest room is decorated in British Raj stuff. He's not a bad guy though he keeps threatening to move in with me when he retires. I haven't had the nerve to tell im NO, NO, NO. But I can set a trailer in the backyard and he can live there. Sorry about your Christmasses. Maybe next year......

Sometimes you have to wonder where some family members are from.Maybe another planet.Sometimes you want to tell them to shit or get off the pot.They behave like children who have to be reintroduced to the human race..I RECALL MY MOTHERS FAVORITE SAYING FOR SOMEONE WHO SHOWED LITTLE SENSE AS BEING A HORSE ASS.oR IF THEY WOULD TRY TO BE BOSSY SHE WOULD ASK THEM WHO DIED AND LEFT YOU BOSS.She had so many good sayings.

Im just jumpin in to the pity party!
Christmas was shitty!

Got my own box of kleenex, too. Had to buy some more today. This is not funny. I herewith release some of my sadness:
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Sniff, sniff, sniff.

Sandranne, I HOPE the psych nurse can get through to him - his behavior was the absolute ANTITHESIS of everything the holiday season is supposed to be... his spirit of generosity and unselfish gestures is apparently not well developed... It's bad enough having to deal with folks like that the rest of the year - is it too much to ask that folks take a vacation from being a**holes for a few lousey days once a year? Ah well, holidays and emotional times bring out the best and worst in everyone... I do so wish that he had surprised you and your mom and been a considerate, loving person... would have been the BEST present he could have given to y'all! Calling you names behind your back to your mom is not nearly as painful for you as it is for HER. Doesn't that drip realize that fighting amongst children is the #1 heartbreak for mothers everywhere? Sheesh! What a slow learner he is! Ya ever wonder exactly what led up to the homicides that occur during the holidays? I'll bet more than a few happen because of stuff like that...

The aide who is coming to help out with Mom these days had her own troubles: a HUGE family with her father in the hospital dying of lung cancer... I suppose it's wise for everyone to remember when they are making merry that there are others who are NOT having a good time, in fact, are having a downright LOUSEY time... Sometimes, we can bring a little cheer to them; other times, we just need to realize how lucky we are and count our blessings that it isn't our turn that particular year...

Did I tell y'all that Mom got some EARRINGS for Christmas? She is so happy showing off her little sparkly christmas trees! I also got her a bunch of new tops to wear - NOTHING white or white background!! Only colorful stuff, which she loved and will give my eye a little lift instead of seeing her enveloped in white sheets, white tees and gowns, etc. One of her grands sent her a sweet bracelet - but it's so big! Today I thought it was missing, but it was all the way up on her bicep!! Found it during a bath...

quote:

But the part that sucks isn't Chanukah or Xmas per se...it's the expectations, the disapointments, the "it used to be's".

You said a mouthful, Hannah! Most all of us have memories of "better" times... Despite our adult brains telling us that every holiday season cannot be that perfect scene from the snowglobe, those memories are deep-seated and live in our subconscious. One can jolly oneself up sometimes, but other times, ya just have to let everything wash over and come up for air on the other side of the wave... That's my "surfin'" theory of getting through life... Hey - it works! Just hang onto the board...

Well, good, bad or indifferent - we're almost through the holidays, so everybunny hang in there! We'll get through and it isn't ALL bad either... Sometimes I find myself looking at the world through sh*t covered glasses... but as soon as I locate my rose colored ones, it's all better.

Boy I hear you all. It really DID suck. I think my Mom tried to sleep through it. My Dad passed away at Christmas time so it makes it even harder.
Christmas eve day she was so weak, didn't want to get up much, of course the night bfore 100k bro calls & invites her over for 3 pm. I TOLD him she won't be up to it. Talk to a big fat ugly wall............he calls Christmas eve @ around 10 a.m and TELLS me that if she can't come he will bring his whole family and the beef stroganoff (She hates this by the way) to her house. I explain to him that that would be too much for her. (and who would be doing the setting of the table, cleanup etc..? ME). So I try to explain very calmly that he is not thinking logically. Told him to please, of course come by and visit, but I will cook a small ham etc. He begins to rant & rave about the money he spent on the figgin meat....I told him to freeze it ....and by the way don't yell at me. He says he will be here at 3:30. I hang up. Of course he never shows or even calls. Just as well of course. FA LA LA LA LA......
So, Mom hubby & I have a quiet dinner. She was so depressed it worried me. I let her sleep for as long as she wanted.
Next day....Merry Christmas. She doesn't know it's Christmas. I doesn't FEEL like Christmas and I am trying to get through it without crying. My husband is helping. I had got some shrimp for shrimp cocktail and crab cakes...2 of her favs. BUT>>>> then bro calls, Mom gets to phone before I could catch it....I pick up extention....he is going ON AND ON AND ON to my MOM about how I SHUNNED him from coming over, and how she needs to "get rid of the bitch for a couple hours" and my Mom says "OK, I'll try."
I lost it....my hubby is very upset now. We realize she did not know what she was saying.
I am not mad at her....BUT little asshole bro thinks she knows what she is saying.
I have had it with him.
So, of course she has a sleepless night. What a circle. So now it's Tuesday....she is still asleep, I wake her for her meds and coffee & bagel. She eats. Back to bed for her. The phyche nurse calls to see how she is. I explain the crapola that happened. She says that if my Mom signs a release she will call this brother to tell him "the real deal" with Mom. I think she will. She is a good nurse who doesn't mince words....I am hoping he will listen to her.
I am glad Christmas is over...........this isn't how her holiday was supposed to turn out, I wanted it to be special for her.
I am so sad.

P.S. Hannah, Jewish here too! But I've always celebrated Christmas....too beautiful to not be a part of.

La Chaim!

Christmas? It happened already? You're joking, right? Not even the slightest hint of Christmas here MB. Thought my father was improving. Turns out, hospice explained what looked like a turn for the better as "rallying." Two days ago, he started shutting down. He's not responsive. And my poor mother....she's become soooooooo withdrawn and seemingly unreachable too. Yeah, the Grim Reaper has been to my house, alright. No Santa Claus this year.

Sorry to hear that you and the rest who felt less than awestruck at the magic Christmas usually brings.

Mine wasn't "the shits" as MB so eloquently put it I found myself tearing up a few times thinking how much has changed since I was a little girl.

Luckily Mom's at the "little girl" stage right now where everything is shiny and new and she's just happy to chirp or sing off-key or quietly sit next to you. A complete 180 from the mother I grew up with. For some reason this year the 180 thing was the "big topic" among the rest of us. I also discovered just how nasty she was a few years ago. I must've been numb or something.

This holiday was also bittersweet because deep down I know it'll probably be her last holiday in some way...not that I don't think she'll pass before the next one (I can't answer if she will or not, but her family's famous for sudden deaths), but I won't be surprised if she isn't bedridden or in a facility or something.

Instead I've been focusing my grief over the furry critter issues we've been having lately. Better to piss/moan/cry about them rather than do the same right to Mom's face.

Moms Buddy, you are so right when you say the holidays bring with them memories both sad and glad.When we have no idea what tomorrow will bring, when we feeling so helpless and hopless, it does cause these emotions.For you it has been a difficult time.You dealt with the flods and all the uncertanies that followed.Hannah, it seems you are hit with so much sadness with no break in the sadness and stress.The same for bunnygirl.
Your feelings are honest and need to be acknowledged of what is happening inside your hearts and minds.Better to be able to let them out then to hold them in.Many times doing this brings change witin.I am so sorry you are dealing with these emotions.You have given others permission to feel free to be honest with their feelings.I would say we climb the mountain, reach the top and have another mountain to climb.Oh to be able to reach the plateau and remaine there for a while.
So much of my mothers feelings at xmas were brought on by her sadness.The loss of family members.Not having the husband she promised to honor and obey no where to be found.She had so many around her that loved her but she still felt alone.
Too bad we have no control over all aspects of our lives.It would prevent the emotions that come to be.