Mom moved from my neices in Tx to me in Alabama Dec 29th. We opened Mom a checking account here, with my bank cause they didn't have a branch of her bank here in Alabama.

I'm still trying to sort this krap out. Niece didn't write down one transaction AT ALL from August till mid Dec in the main checking account. So I waited till we knew all transactions came through before attempting to close it.

In Texas, they opened Mom 2 checking accounts, one savings and one CD. Don't even ask the reasoning for this, I have no clue. She only had checks for one account.

I sent a letter requesting the accounts be closed out, and the money shifter to her account here in AL with her new bank. Nothing happened.

I called, they wanted to speak to Mom. I told her Mom is 94....she said ok. They wouldn't take our word cause Mom doesn't "know" this address yet. I was calling it out to her, so she could tell the lady on the phone. Honestly, Mom didn't know the address she had in TX either, and she lived there 6 years!

So I got online again, and found I could shift from one bank to another, using some "out of the bank" method. I started doing that Friday, but they only allow you to do so much cash at a time.

Got back online to try to shift more money to Mom's account here. I'm locked out of the account, and they want "Mom" to call them on the phone to unlock the account!!!!!!! They wouldn't talk to Mom the first time,!!! GRRRRR....

Meantime, the bank calls my niece, since she's on the account too. They tell her she needs to go down to close the account out.

Thank God, neice is trust worthy. And they do have a Bank of America where she moved to, as she's no longer in TX either.

She said she could close the account out Thursday, and have it transferred to Mom's bank here.

If she does that Thursday, I'm going to tell her to take $50 out of the account and have a nice lunch!!!

And yes, I AM on Mom's account here. Niece is on her account in TX cause she was taking care of Mom out there.

Hopefully all this will be taken care of Thursday. Till then, I don't even want to deal with that bank anymore!

Ok, here it is Thursday, and niece hasn't called about bank stuff.

I call her. She said "if I have time today, I'll go close account, if not, I'll do it tomorrow".

GRRRR... I've been sitting here all day, waiting on her to call, so I can give her routing # and account # to Mom's new account here.

Bout to think we should have just go in the car, and drove to Fl to close the damn account!

I told her Mom was going to let her keep some for a good lunch, you'd think that would get her off her patoot!

Good to hear bnot .
Then I guess it's just the usual, frustrating way banks work.

Doc, I do have a power of attorney. Thats one of the first things I had done when she got her. I sent it in the mail to the bank, with the letter trying to close the account, with Mom's signature on it!

Oh well, niece should take care of the account tomorrow.

I was shocked to see that when I transferred money online from her bank in Tx to her bank here in AL they did transfer it.

Not being rude or anything, but I can't stress enough:
THIS IS WHY A POA IS SOOOOOO IMPORTANT!
Get one as soon as you can, it makes EVERYTHING so much easier!

Hang in there bnot!

This actually brings up an interesting point for me that has occurred recently.

Dad likes to have $ in his pocket, I take some out of the bank for him and we go from there. In Dec, I took out $200 as her wanted cash for Xmas gifts, but then didn't give any, so he has had that money for a couple of months...he pays when we go out to breakfast sometimes, etc.

A couple of weeks ago he ran out and said he wanted $200 more. I explained that we couldn't do that and we had a big money discussion. He knows he gets his pension and SS each month, but doens't see it go as I handle the finances. We went over in detail the costs of his caregiver and his monthly life insurance, so he saw that his moeny was going to that.

Anyway, this week my youngest brother and his wife had a baby. Dad went with the caregiver to see them. Along the way they bought a card as a gift and Dad gave her $30 to put in.

While they were in the room, the CG was talking to my sis-in-law and my brother was with dad. The CG heard my brother ASK dad for money...and then saw him reach into his pocket, pull out a bunch and give it to him.

On the ride home, she called me to tell me...we asked Dad how much he had on him...still had $90...so we were perplexed. He had already spent $5 on the card and then $30 in the card...so with the $90, he had more than $100...so the CG asked him where he got the money..he told her he started the day with $200.

Fast forward to me going to the caf at work and reaching into my wallet for cash to find almost $200 missing. I had left my wallet on my desk in our office...so dad went in there, took the money out and then when I asked him about it last night, told me he "found" it.

We won't even go to my brother asking his father (with dementia and Alz) for cash...Dad has had "sticky" fingers of late. I had a bowl of change I would throw extra change in...saving it up for vacation...all of a suddden all of the change is gone. Each time dad walked by, he reached in, grabbed a fist full and brought it to his room. He hid it in a container under his bed...

Is anyone else dealing with this as a symptom...I do know I have ot lock up cash and hide it now, but...any other suggestions?

Thanks!

Bnot:
I will be feeling your pain soon. I have to sell my mom's house and use the $ to buy us another one closer to my new office. It's the only way to keep her at home w/ me. I can't imagine all of the hoops I'll have to jump through to get it done. Wish me luck.

WEll, they protecting her pretty good, as she can't get access (or I can't for her) to her own account!

Niece is the one that opened the account with her, since she was going to be the one (in 2002) that would be helping her with her bills.

Now niece is in Arkansas, and I have Mom here in Alabama.

We'll get it straight. Just have to wait till Thurs for niece to go close the account.

quote:

Originally posted by Bobcat:
but she is really proud to sign her own checks. I like it when she is pleased with herself.

I couldn't agree more, My mom likes to sign her checks too but she doesn't like "looking" at bills, so when we are out I have her sign the checks. I think my mom LIKES not having to worry about bills. She knows she is OK financially and is more than happy leaving the grunt work to me. I do like TORP's idea but my Mom has no active credit cards. She likes having a paper trail with her checks.

I am lucky to have a Bro that handles the banking, to a point. The checking account for regular expenses is replenished bi-monthly as a routine. For an extra expense like home repair, plumbling emergency, stuff, I let him know. So far, we have been in accord, and I believe it will stay like that..

She still signs her checks. I would like to get signature rights along with Bro, but the bank needs all 3 of us to be there together to sign the card for signatures. This has become difficult. It is not about trust, because I have her ATM card. I shop for her with it, get cash for her, No problem. Sometimes I use it to pay a bill, but she is really proud to sign her own checks. I like it when she is pleased with herself.

quote:

Originally posted by AnnaS:

... if she has a large expense, I put it on my credit card so she can pay me back.

What we did, with my husband and his brother's agreement, was to have me added to her credit card account. I don't have POA or sign ANYTHING except charge slips on that account. I use this card for her expenses only through the month (drug co-pays, buying her diapers and other personal care items, paying for her hearing aids and dental work, etc.) then match the receipts with the statement and so there is only one check to write from her account to pay for all of these expenses. Plus, our budget doesn't take a hit while waiting for reimbursement. It's worked well for us.

I agree with Bobcat that these institutions need to put every effort available to them to protect seniors. My mom has PD and Dementia but not so bad that she doesn’t know what she has in the bank. When the statements come in, I take the time to show her and answer any questions she might have. Yes, it gets tiring to have to explain for the 1,000th. time that she pays $98.00 per month for her supplemental insurance.

I don’t like the idea of controlling my mother’s bank accounts. Since I have DPOA, I pay her bills from her checking account and if she has a large expense, I put it on my credit card so she can pay me back.

If we have any dealings with the bank, I make the time to take her to the bank for the transaction. When she wants cash, we go to the bank to make the transaction. I think Bobcat says it right, once a merchant or financial institution becomes aware of the situation, they are much less suspicious.

This aspect of care giving can be the most misunderstood and takes a great deal of patience. I think you are doing a great job.

Oh, we ran into that with a Texas bank. A relative misled our LO about some paperwork she was signing, and got herself added to the bank accounts as a joint owner. By doing this, half the funds belonged to her by law and wouldn't enter probate. But I think that the purpose was control rather than wanting to steal. When we explained to my MIL what she had signed and its effect, MIL had a FIT and chewed out both her granddaughter AND the bank officer.

In our case, there wasn't a savings account, but only a checking and IRA. The IRA couldn't be made joint so it was safe, and the joint checking pretty much was just for paying bills so we spent it down and went through the paperwork to have her direct deposits (just social security and a small pension check) deposited into a new account. (As it turned out, the brat eventually signed the paper not knowing that we'd already established a new account. Coincidentially *wink wink* she delivered the release to us a day or so after a check to my MIL's lawyer cleared the bank. I'd imagine she was wetting herself when she saw that check appear online, but unknown to her it was related to establishing a trust and had nothing to do with her perfidy.)

I understand why they do the joint accounts that way. Otherwise, for example, a philandering spouse could clear acount the checking and savings in one fell swoop and light off to parts unknown without leaving their partner with funds they had earned.

Thank you BC I forgot to add Bnot they have a lock on the account simply because the account is under a fraud alert that is normal practice with banks and BofA is usually pretty good at that especially when someone tries to gain access to the account thats not authorized to do so.
If your still having problems get a statement from her old PCP in Texas and get a statement from her new PCP in Al. to show she has changed residence/location. Her new PCP may even have something on file check with them first maybe you wont have to go through the hassle.

By the way, I don't know as far as 2 checking accounts, some people set it up this way so that one account is for normal bills and the other is for items of specific interest in the tax department. Medical , pharmacy, charity, aides. Or one may have been for a money market account. Checking accounts are easier to "raid", so many people do keep funds in savings until they need to move them to checking. Any how, that is a possible reasonable explanation. Hopefully your niece can explain more. If you Mom had more savings than she could expect to use in a year or two. A CD makes better interest than savings, and is very hard to "raid". If you can make sense of this in regard to her real current situation, you may wish to follow suit.

I do find multiple accounts, to be confusing and frustrating. Still sometimes it is useful in our LOs protection. Maybe that is the reason.

So true so true this is the frustrating part of this whole mess dealing with institutions like banks and such may sound a little sneaky and underhanded but I never tell them Im not MIL Boy talk about feeling like Im doing something wrong but you try to explain to some of these yahoos English is not her first language she cant see the #'s on her ss card and sometimes she gets her own Bdate wrong plus the account is from when my FIL was alive so no one knows all the secret questions they would normally ask to gain access like FIL SS# mothers maiden name (they never talked about it) so I do the dirty deed and now that online access makes it alot easier and ATM's thats what I do now.
Changing banks however did you remember to switch SS checks to this new bank or do you still get them in the mail? If so to make it easier on you switch to Direct Deposit to avoid the hassle we did here and I love the ease of it

I know this is frustrating, bnot. And perhaps some of this is just getting the run around. If She has a CD, you may have to wait a little while longer and find out something more about it. Maturity date, penalty for cashing it in early, etc.

Actually the bank in Texas is trying to protect your Mom, (I know you didn't want to hear that). but the elderly in particular often fall prey to bank fraud.

I used to work retail, and a man came in to make a purchase using his mother's check. I didn't know him, but I did remember his mother and knew she was ill. He said he had just recently gotten signing privileges for her account, but not new checks yet. And he had forgotten to bring the card they gave him. It only took a quick call to the bank to confirm all he said and he thanked me for looking out for his mother. It seemed a step brother had stolen some checks from another account and managed to use a few because no one checked him. They just looked at his ID, saw the same last name and believed that his mom needed a $1200 necklace, which went to the girlfriend..

I would have thought your own bank might have been more help to explain the nessecary steps. And it is quite possible the Texas bank was being overly difficult, but what if the ex-nephew in law had decided to abuse his knowledge of her accounts. Not to say that he would, but over the years, he probably had access to her account info.

Alot of this "piece at a time" double questions, let me talk to her, stuff that is frustrating and difficult and (with the hearing aid and vision issue ) almost impossible by phone, is designed to protect her. Not funny, but a real crook seems to breeze through this.

It is like child proof caps, only children have no problem with them. Thank goodness you have faith in your niece. Do you have POA/DPOA in the works yet? Even if you have that document, you would have had to verify that info with that Texas bank. The process should have been made more clear. This is one bit of frustration you didn't need right now. I am sure you and your niece will get this all in order soon.

You are really doing good work. Hugs, and may the force be with you. Love Bobcat.