My husband is feeling neglected. We've been living in my parents house since December of last year. We have our own "suite" complete with bathroom. Dad died in September. Now I am taking care of mom w/dementia. I am pretty much housebound. He wants me to be more attentive. I want to scream. He has friends in the area, can come and go as he pleases. Chooses to sit in front of the TV watching car shows or golf all day. Very negative. Did I mention I want to scream? I want him to be grateful for what we have and to get off his dead ass and participate in life. He is Eeyore in the flesh. I want to bite his head off. My mother is my child and he feels left out. I have no patience for whiners. Mom and caregiver very aware of his moodiness. Thanks for letting me share. Grrrrrrr!
Sincerely,
"Lousy wife"

Hire a babysitter & go out weekly with your husband--Just because we take on the care of our parent does not mean "instead of" caring for our other relationships. He has a right to miss you. Be greatful that he cares and do not put him on hold.
AliceRN

Kathleen, what your hubby's going through is, from what I understand, completely normal in a situation like yours. I'm in a similar situation. There are times when he gets so p.o'd that he refuses to talk, even if I make the first move. Childish? You bet. I'm just waiting for him to throw an actual tantrum

I wish I had advice for you because I could certainly use it too!

I just wanted you to know that you're not alone in this situation...I hope that helps.

Kathleen.....Shame on you! Your not a "lousy" wife...just a little overtired is all... Just remember you cant dictate how others react to life but you can sure as heck control yourself and how you act around him. And thats probably what he's banking on. He knows his moodiness is gittin under everyones skin and at this point the attention he does get is just that...attention. Just like a kid when they need attention and dont get it they try the negative approach cause they know it will get them the attention they need even if it is in the negative. Heres where it gets a little sticky...you need to prioritize things in your life a little (I know mom is important here) but happy content hunny means happy content wife which leads to happy content mom. If he likes watching car shows (hey I got me one of those ....golf.... I draw the line! waaaayyyy tooooo boring!) get mom set up for a minute and sit down and cuddle with him...let him talk or have him explain whats going on so he feels you are trying to understand whats up.... sooner or later it becomes boring for them....Does he have a hobby? Him being in the house with you might mean he is over his wandering and really wants to just be around you. Get involved in his hobby even if its for a minute or 3. You will see things turn around if you do.