Oh goody a place to vent a little!
I carggive for my widowed dad and he is on a strict diet as per his doctor due to his health.

Money is pretty tight here so every month I plan meals down to the last can of vegetable for a side item. Last week I discovered a $30 can opener had the magnet lid lifter broken off.
I asked Dad if he had messed with it and he said he can't use those new fangled can openers so no he did not break it. Then I started wondering why the canned vegetables on the shelf seemed to be running out well before the end of the month.
I asked Dad if he had been eating the canned goods and sneaking off his diet, again he said no!
Dads kitchen has 30+ year old formica worn out countertops and he used to have a gas stove that was nasty dirty from food falling into the top. I had spent my own hard earned money from doing web design and setting up online shopping carts for folks and it took forever to buy a nice glass top stove to replace the old nasty gas one. I warned Dad many times about not using the stove top as a counter top because scratches can ruin them.

The other day my Hubby took off in the truck so I guess Dad thought he was all alone and I hear the can opener running!
I hurried into the kitchen to find him leaning as hard as he could forcing the can opener to grind around a can on my nice glass top stove.
He scratched the hell out of it!!!!!!!!
TO buy a new top by itself might cost me about $500! I grabbed the can away from him because I was so mad and dumped the vegetables down the sink, I so wanted to knock some smart into him, keep in mind he is almost 6 feet tall and I am only 5' 4" and he outweighs me.
The only thing he was concerned about was WHY I was dumping the vegetables down the sink! He was not concerned about the stove or the lies he has been telling us.
He could have taken two steps to either side of my stove and ground the hell out of the 30+ year old countertops!!!! Argh!!!!
We added a key lock to the canned goods pantry door now.

Today he had to be taken to his monthly Doctor's checkup and Hubby takes him so I wrote a long note explaning all the small things dad's been doing, like walking the floors at weird hours and opening the house doors and the fridge/freezers/closets/oven doors too many times like the early beginnings of OCD and his lies and lazinesses, he also has rubbed his long fingernails on his recliner now that the fabric is totally gone from the chair arms... his Doctor read my note and prescribed Dad some Paxil.

I feel a bit guilty getting him medicated but I can't take his little daily crap like I used to.
His Doc said all the things he is doing could be depression or early OCD so I should not feel guilty.

I told the Doc I guess it was best that he medicate Dad or else he was going to have to start medicating me!

Anyone have any idea what I can expect from Dad on Paxil, will he maybe be easier to live with, more sedate hopefully?

quote:

Originally posted by handbasket:
Thanks to you both for the extra information.
How did you know about Dad's long pinky nail! LOL! They are all still long but his pinky is his favorite one. I am 100 percent faithful that cutting his nails will lead to a fight.

Your welcome Baby! Just know its a generational thing (at least I think so ) My MIL had the same thing my hunny tries to grow his to my disgust/horror (Im sorry! lol) I got the clippers out for both and wacked those suckers off! meanwhile both are screaming at me about how cruel I am! LOL!

Thanks to you both for the extra information.
How did you know about Dad's long pinky nail! LOL! They are all still long but his pinky is his favorite one. I am 100 percent faithful that cutting his nails will lead to a fight.

As far as his extra vegetable cans, no way! We already discovered if we give him anything beyond his diet then he just keeps asking for more and more.

This week he is driving us nuts wanting a pipe to smoke or a cigar and he hasn't smoked for over 3 years but he keeps battering us for just a bit more. I am asthamatic and I have already told him No more tobacco as per his doctors orders (early prostrate cancer)

So Far so good this week on the paxil, it seems to be allowing him to sleep through the night.

After locking the food pantry and telling him for an entire hour just why, the very next day he was asking my husband why we locked the pantry. He plays us like a kid wanting something, if one of us won't bend he soon approaches the other. When he isn't playing us I think he is checking to judge if hubby and I have matching stories about why we do things here. Comparing us to see maybe of we are lying to him? We are both sick to death of Dad catching us each alone and asking again just what the other one of us has told him.
He seems to be mentally becoming like a evil imp hearted 13 year old.

Hope the paxil keeps on working! Keeping my fingers crossed still.

Sorry if this post is scatter thoughts but It's 5am and I haven't been to bed yet.
Night all!

YOu know HB I agree with what MB says here (sometimes I still wanna believe the docs assessments with each individual here as they know whats going on better than we do here) But the behaviors you are speaking about do go hand in hand with AD, my own MIL does this scratching alot to herself...picking OMG! Clipping their nails is a really good idea and NO they can not have that one little pinky nail left to grow for the purpose of cleaning out their....! UGH! lol Cut em all!

quote:

I feel a bit guilty getting him medicated but I can't take his little daily crap like I used to.
His Doc said all the things he is doing could be depression or early OCD so I should not feel guilty.

I think what you are seeing is not true depression nor OCD - it sounds like dementia symptoms...

I am assuming that your dad has a neurologist because of his stroke... if you have not already done so, please look into getting him a full, inpatient geriatric psych workup... Personally, I doubt if Paxil will help one iota. I think there's more going on than that...

I know it's difficult not to think of the money that your dad's behavior costs, but when all is said and done, these are small things. First rule of taking care of elders (or kids, for that matter...) is "Don't sweat the small stuff." I don't know what diet he is on, but veggies are good for most folks... an extra can or two should not harm him... As for his self-feeding, chair arm rubbing, rocking back in chairs, etc. - these kinds of behaviors are real typical of old folks with brain damage. Many folks rub big sores in their arms and legs - be grateful it's the chair that's catching the damage and not his skin! Keeping his nails manicured should help a little, but it will not stop the rubbing behavior. As to the rest, it's simply an adult with a lifetime of independent living experience behind them whose brain no longer works well for him to make rational decisions. Controlling impulses is a typical problem... it sounds like his judgement is shot and what you are seeing is the vestiges of an independent adult going through the motions of living - only he's not real good at it any more. Sometimes they will lie or be sneaky about what they are doing - this is yet another symptom of the damage to his brain... it ain't HIM, it's what's HAPPENED to him...
Best wishes and good luck!

Wooo Hannah! Thats some of the symptoms I had! Yikes I knew it wasnt just me! Woo wee! Thank you for that site 2 thumbs up!

and prescribed Dad some Paxil.

One thing about Paxil...be careful if or when he goes off the drug. I took it for mild depression and followed Dr's orders to wean off of it over a week long period. I felt like I was going to die - uncontrolled crying, bad bad pain in my head and neck and fainting. My Dr said, "This isn't supposed to be happening." and it took me 6 weeks to wean off of it. Check out www.quitpaxil.info Apparently MOST people are fine on it but some of us lucky ones have had extreme reactions. People who may be brain impaired to begin with will have reactions that are not necessarily those of the control groups studied. Good luck with your Dad on it.
~Hannah

Here baby I like this site alot better than other ones of this nature more basic to the point no nonsense if ya know what I mean!
http://www.drugs.com/Paxil/index.html
In my experience antidepressants decreases sexual drive not the other way around but hey like I said everyone is different I took some to stop smoking and let me tell you I nearly wanted to beat someone senseless so not a drug you wanna use for simple things like that (not that quitting smoking is simple) but you know what I mean! *chuckle*

quote:

Originally posted by Bunnys_grl:
Good girl with the Locked Pantry I did the same thing here. In fact there are now locks on all doors in this house....trouble walkin is all I can say here! *chuckle* sounds like you have the same thing happening...As to the Paxil well sweetie it all depends on the patient...every one is unique in how they absorb these chemicals and respond to them but hopefully with a little time he will calm down a little here for you...Just watch his behavior though if he gets more aggitated towards the end of lets say a week and a half to 2 weeks report it to the doc. sometimes they can have an opposite effect on a person so keep an eye out for this ok sweetie?
keep us posted

Thanks again Bunnys_grl!
I'll watch for any aggitation while he is adjusting to the medicine. All I found online about it was some sexual side-effects! OMG! That's all I woulds need if it were to raise his libedo!
When Dad was young he had a very bad habit of always doing the baseball player style genetialia shifting hand grab to his crotch ( always embaressed us kids and mom too around our friends. HAHAH!
I had terrbile ideas as to what this drug may cause him to do with his genetalia and his hands topped off with a bit of early OCD!

Good girl with the Locked Pantry I did the same thing here. In fact there are now locks on all doors in this house....trouble walkin is all I can say here! *chuckle* sounds like you have the same thing happening...As to the Paxil well sweetie it all depends on the patient...every one is unique in how they absorb these chemicals and respond to them but hopefully with a little time he will calm down a little here for you...Just watch his behavior though if he gets more aggitated towards the end of lets say a week and a half to 2 weeks report it to the doc. sometimes they can have an opposite effect on a person so keep an eye out for this ok sweetie?
keep us posted