I had to call the agency today and terminate the young cg. Man, I hate having to do that, this girl {17}, is just too young and inexperienced to deal with this little woman who is H E double hockey sticks on wheels.

MIl, is only abusive to this one CG. When I tell the other CG's how she has behaved, they do not believe me!, Their mouths drop open and all of them say "WHA???".

We had two calls from the CG tonight before 8pm. The first call was, mil is demanding medication, she had just had it an hour before...I told her to stay on track, and tell mil she would get it as scheduled. I also told her to take the knobs off of the stove, and to put the step ladder on the back porch. {last week, she was trying to climb the ladder and rummage around in the cabinets, then she turned the stove on to light an already lit cigarette. Still, the other cg's never ever have issues as this.

At 9pm, mil called and demanded my H come over and give her more meds. He said absolutely not, you will only get them on schedule. He explained to her rather heatedly that he is not going to put up with her being mean and abusive to anyone....if she acted like this all of the time, that would be one thing, this girl comes at nights during the week. Mil, behaved like a normal person with the weekend night and day CG. So, I think this is not so much the AD, as it is her rotten disposition, of "I want whatever I want right now, and you'd better get it for me" attitude. She told my H, " if you are not going to give me what I want, then go home and don't come back".... he said, OK!

When my fil was alive, she would have him hopping all of the time, "gotta get mommma some chocolate milk", "gotta get momma some pain medication" " gotta give momma this", "gotta give momma that"....it was enough to drive a crazy person sane!!!!!!!!!!

I thought my H was never going to get calmed down enough to go to sleep. He finally relaxed after I laid down beside him {I am a night owl}, and went to sleep. He is the one I am concerned about, I want to keep him healthy, and alive.

Now, for our sanity, I have to make sure this CG does not come back tomorrow night. Again, I hate doing this, but we have to live in this and it has to be as smooth as we can make it.

Sorry I rambled and griped and carried on so tonight.....ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO! Blue, poor thing she will never forget her first charge, but seriously I doubt she'll ever forget you either! Your kindness is wonderful what a blessing you are Blue

Thanks BG, I will make sure this young one gets the message. I feel she probably needs to be pumped up about now. She's a beautiful, smart, concientious, brave person.

She also just found out she is pregnant, I do not know how much support she has at home, or from the sperm donor. I had given her a baby bed that was in mil's garage about a month ago. She is gathering things she can find for her baby, I will never forget her, and I know she will never forget us!

It just kinda dawned on me Blue after the 9-5 comment that this was a much "safer" time for the less experienced CNA's since the family is there if the LO gets too outta hand for the CG they can step in but they still get the experience from it.
Have you told baby girl this Blue? She would make a better RN. Maybe she needs the ole "push" shes scared maybe to go further??? Its not that often you came across someone of this age that shows compassion like this make sure she knows that shes ahead of the game...amazing

After repeated conversations with the agency yesterday, I think they have realized that seniority comes in to play. They did say there was a replacement, a woman who had been working for them a very long time.....we'll see what happens.

hmm BG, I have been so busy with this situation, I haven't even thought of that. I put nothing past anyone these days, trust is a fragile issue with me.

I intend on taking a card by the agency for this young girl. I want her to realize that she should take this experience and draw from the positive things she learned here. It will all fit the puzzle in years to come. I think she would be a better RN, but it is her life.

BG honey, I know you know, thanks for the Hugs and the never ending support, to all of my friends!!!!!!!

Hmmm I just thought of something BC and Blue...
Do you think they do this to a young CG to prove whether they are up for the task? And since the patients family is there during evening hours they feel safer to do so on the off chance a CG may walk off the job?
Hmmmm I wonder......

I am sure you told the agency that this girl did her job by the book and that your MIL was just too much to handle for some one withou experieince with dementia.

It always amazes me, that NHs and agencys think the night shift is the place to start the new ones. The management of such places just seems to think everyone lives on their own 9-5 .

I do understand that seniority counts. To pick your job and all, But to put a 17 year old on night shift with a sundowner????

Everything is changing all the time, hopefully they now realize the situation


I realize, they might think seniority

Good job Blue! Give them 1-4 weeks and there should be a change in her behaviors if not just calmer to be around but if she is still like this at 4 weeks tell the Doc pronto. Either its too low a dose or not working on her at all.
(((Hugs))) sweetie, I know

yes bg, we made med changes last week.

I hope everything goes a little smoother for a while, her BP was perfectly normal this morning, a very good thing, because it was out of control last week, so the new BP meds are just what we needed.

MB, I didn't think to tell them to send Nurse Ratchet, but if I had, I would have said it!

All is done, I am sure the young CG is relieved she never has to come to mil's again.

Mil told H today that she hates the young girl and doesn't want to be around her. Reason being, she did not want mil to take a fall so she was close to her when she moved around the house, she would NOT, absolutely not break medication protocol. She followed every rule almost to a fault.... how could we be unhappy with someone like that? No way. Mil has been told that she is on a different page now, with new rules....that's just how the ship is being run.

If she is forgetful, that's ok. If she has a bad day and is missing her H, that's understandable. If she does not have an appetite, or can't sleep, we will do what we can to make her comfortable.

But under no cirucumstances, will we agree with her abuse of others. Not gonna happen, as long as we know for a fact that she is in control of her behavior, right now, her choice!

I hope all this works out for you Blue so you and H can relax a bit.

I have to agree, Blue. Seventeen just is not enough time on the planet to handle this. I think your MIL perceives this and is running her like she would a kid. Ask the agency to send Nurse Ratchett!

Blue Im so sorry I know thats a tough call when you have to fire someone.
I was just sayin how my MIL is becoming more lucid at night time in the NH but before when she was at home it was just the opposite, it seems to me you may be better off with one that is more experienced in handling her at night and maybe putting the less experienced one on the day hours.
She seems to be progressing and displaying more agitation now yes? Maybe its time for a med change or up the dose? Have you asked her PCP about this?

sorry you are having such a rotten time with your mil and the poor caregiver. i feel for her. look again and make sure you don't have my mil by mistake. i would love to make them roommates!