Mom has been insisting all weekend, she go for a flu shot today. Walgreens won't do, she wanted it from the dr office.

We finally finds something she can wear. She refuses to give the "too tight clothes" and stuff she refuses to wear (pants that dont' have elastic) to Goodwill. So I don't know what fits and what doesn't.

Get in the car, and it smells like she's got 1/2 bottle perfume on. I made a remark, she had enough for me and her. She screams at me, and starts crying. I know I have to some how blow it off, or we'd be back inside before we got out of the driveway. If we didn't go today, I'd be to blame later.

Wait 40 minutes at dr office to get her flu shot. I asked nurse if they faxed the scrips to the Canadian pharmacy, she said she was waiting on the DR's approval of canadian pharmacy. I took this schytt over to them last Tuesday, and today is the following Monday!!!! Thats 6 days!!! They called in the Verapamil last week, and got the Merck application in the mail!

She gives me 1 "sample" of Spiriva, which has a 10 day supply in it. Then 1 sample of another med, that may have a 10 day supply in it. That means in 10 days, I'll be running back for more of both. They running my ass to death, like I don't have enough to do, taking care of Mom.

They dang funny about giving out samples. Like its expensive trick-or-treat candy. Make you come back and feel like your begging every time. Much less having to drive over there and back.

Not a good day for me. Had to take a prn when we got back, so I won't spend the rest of the evening crying, and wondering why I even stepped up to the plate to take care of her.

I sure do feel for you. My mom's much the samw way, as you know. Especially about the clothes. And the saying anything that passes through her head. Sometimes she regrets it later, sometimes she doesn't remember saying it.

Are you getting any chance, at all, to get away time for yourself?

Mom, God is awfully busy right now, but I'm righ here.
What do you need help with?

Sorry Mom's_buddy, donuts are gone! I ate the rest of them yesterday.

Dunno what I'd do without you all!

quote:

I know she's doing the best she can. So am I, but at times, just don't feel its near enough, or good enough.

If it's any consolation, we ALL feel like that, dear. You gotta remember a few things here...
1. You are ONE woman
2. It really DOESN'T say GOD on your birth certificate
3. It doesn't say Wonder Woman either.
4. There will never be a single day in your life when there won't be SOMETHING you could have done better.
5. What you do is heroic. It will not save your mom from dying at some point, but it WILL make what's left of her life far better than if you were not there.
6. We love you just the way you are. And so does your Mom and so does your Psychic Sister with donuts. And so does the Great Spirit.
7. Don't forget to pick up more kleenex tomorrow.
{{{{{GIANT HUGS}}}}

I'm glad you have a psychic sis!
Ummmm... BTW...
Y'all gonna eat all those donuts? Hmmmm?
Jus' tryin' to help...

quote:

I know she's doing the best she can. So am I, but at times, just don't feel its near enough, or good enough.

This is what we ALL go through as CGs. We take on the blame and frustration of all the problems at hand. We are all too hard on ourselves.

Sounds like you have a good sene of humor.
I LOVE your comment about your birth certificate not saying God! Somehow we are going to help you use that valuable tool to ease your way thru this more smoothly!

Glad you have a sister with donuts to come to the rescue! Very good!

Today has been a rough one again for me.

Convincing Mom she needed the PT without making her mad was a hard one to pull off.

Tonight, I've cried a lot. Probably more than I've cried since she got here.

Older sister (lived with us "some"), swear she has radar for when I need to talk. She called after Mom went to bed, and talked with me a good long time. Then she insisted she go pick up donuts and come over.

Bless her heart. I so needed someone to talk to.

Thank you all for being here for me too. I don't feel so alone in all this.

I have a little secret to share with you. Bnot my mom would bang on the windows and scream HELP ME. We lived in a dead end street and everyone knew that if the light was on she was just going through her "thing" and not to worry. I had got to the point that I was so stressed I'd make sure she was safe and go in my room and get my CD player and put on headphones and turn it up loud. I could see her still yelling but couldn't hear her. It helped a bit with the stress. I know this is a very hard period to go through but it will eventually pass. HUGS

quote:

Ok, haven't looked at my birth certificate tonight, but last time I did, my name was Brenda, not GOD.

Can I just call you GODDESS for short? If it's any consolation, my mom doesn't call me either. She makes certain noises which I am supposed to interpret as beckoning... Buy your mom a silver bell so she can ring for you. That worked pretty well here until Mom took hers apart and ate the clapper... I looked around and never found it and I promise you I didn't check her dipe carefully. A bell is relatively useless without a clapper...

And even if you find a resolution to THIS particular annoyance, sure as the sun comes up toward Florida, there'll be some other dang thing that'll rear it's ugly little head tomorrow.

Easy does it... Sometimes making it through a day of aggravations is a greater accomplishment than winning gold in the Olympics!! Do something NICE for yourself, willya? You've been so worried lately and have been running like a chicken with its head cut off... the Goddess needs a little self-worship sometimes!!!

B, remember there is always the option of going into the back room, shutting the door and screaming into a pillow when you are at your wits end.

Seriously though, you'll probably end up with blood shot eyes. We all feel your frustrations, just know that you are not alone, we are always here to listen to you!

Thanks ya'll. I will try to remember to breathe.

Tonight, she's heading up the hall hollering "GOD HELP ME, Lord help me".

Then finally when she makes it where I can see her she says to me "my legs are trying to give out on me".

I get her to the chair. Asked why didn't she call me before she got that far up the hall. She says "I did!".

She has a walker that has a chair on it. She could stop and sit down (I pointed that out to her tonight, again).

Ok, haven't looked at my birth certificate tonight, but last time I did, my name was Brenda, not GOD. I did refrain from telling her that.

Doing all I can to keep from blowing up at times. One of those days today, where I have just one little nerve left, and I don't need it tromped on.

Still have my feelings hurt from her hollering at me earlier getting in the car. She doesn't have a clue. I ain't pointing it out to her either. I know she's doing the best she can. So am I, but at times, just don't feel its near enough, or good enough.

Ah how I remember being dreadfully late for EVERY appointment no matter how many hours of preparation I allowed! To save wear and tear on my nerves, I helped mom get ready for appointments. I was sneaky about it - kinda hanging around, checking in on her frequently, etc. I watered her perfume and laid out the outfit we chose the night before. And still, it was ROUGH.

Be HONEST with the people at the doc's office about your difficulties. If they will only hand you ONE measly sample, tell them you have too much to do to be coming back every week unless they are buying lunch. Realize that the wheels of office work turn SLOWLY. You took paperwork to them Tuesday. They certainly didn't look at it until Wednesday as their Tuesday was already scheduled. They don't work Saturday and Sunday, so in reality, you are talking about 3 working days. I had to teach myself to "count" time in a different manner because it doesn't go by the normal clock or calendar. It does help to call after 5 business days to give a little prod. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Patients in their faces get priority over those who are out of sight and out of mind. Patient admissions and discharges get priority. Fridays are patient discharges and wrap-up days for the week with everyone inching toward the door after lunchtime and Mondays are spent catching up with the stuff that hit the fan over the weekend. This means they REALLY only have 3 days per week to look at new paperwork. Then, too, office workers, doctors and nurses have lives - appointments, sick kids, meetings, etc. Heck, it's a wonder that they get ANYTHING done!!!

It IS a ratrace full of dealing with someone who isn't all there. BC gave you GOOD advice: remember to BREATHE. Don't let the horsecrap get you down. If you make it through the day and haven't choked the ever livin' crap out of anyone, you have reason to celebrate!

Easy does it, m'friend. If it weren't for rolling my eyeballs and sighing, I'd have been locked up by now for SURE!!

Don't forget to let GO of the aggravations as quickly as humanly possible. Often, at the end of the day, I have literally forgotten the aggravating stuff that happened earlier. I got through it and don't need it on my hard drive.

AND... it was a BEAUTIFUL sunset this evening. I hope you didn't miss it!

bnot, I am so sorry that both of you have been put through the mill and are on a last nerve right now. In several ways, our Moms could be sisters. Hey, that makes us "could be" cousins. Breathe deep and often, Cuz.

You are doing a fantastic job. Remember to breathe.