Hanging on for dear life. Trying to get mom's meds straightened out. Kept her out all day, went to a hilarious Improv show and out for an early dinner. Mom was functioning fine, even laughing. Then...Bingo...like someone flipped a switch and I am the arch-enemy again. Same questions, accusations, threats...I finally said, I need to lay down for awhile and hubby took over.
2 hours ago I gave her Xanax and 1/2 Seroquel and a glass of wine. Now she just walked in with the saddest look on her face apologizing for making me cry and treating me badly after all I've done.

I told her I didn't cry, which is true, and that she absoulutely did NOTHING wrong, and then I told her it was all my fault for not getting her meds in her early enough today.

She's scheduled to go into assisted living sometime next week. I don't know what to do or say anymore, except to pray,turn my iPod on, listen to Vince Gill and remind myself that this too shall pass. And now I do feel like crying a river.
Kathleen

Thanks Bobcat...Mom went in today...I've been crying a river out of relief and out of profound sadness. I went to see the movie "Away From Her" this afternoon...Alzheimer's movie w/ Julie Christie.
Awesome. That started the waterworks for me. Whew. I liked the PPLeague clip, but I didn't see Vince in there. Maybe it's the tears that are blurrin my vision.
Kathleen

Kathleen, All this is so very hard. All you can do is hope for the best and keep a close eye on how it goes.
I have known of individuals who really did much better in a community environment, and I truely hope this will be so for your LO. I know you are not "DUMPING HER" , but trying to find the best solution for all involved. There is no way to know until after the fact. Hoping the best for you and all. I'll tune in on Vince Gill with you. Maybe go back to some Pure Prarie League. I need the trip myself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwFTozPdwU8&mode=related&search=

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Kath just a thought here I get exactly what your saying but I have a little unique perspective here in watching MIL the way I do and while I get that everyone is different in this I want you to look at some things that mom does, does she have a certain "thing" she does when around people? Watch her body language when she is around others little things something you and I wouldnt put much into like playing with her hair moving around in her chair picking at something on her clothes fingers moving rubbing on a part of her body repeating something just said. My mil does a little mouth twitching (she used to do this way back) when she is quiet she doesnt do it but when around others she starts to, which means this is an indicator of her discomfort one I didnt realize until now when this disease came into play. I had this little epiphany when I thought about what my Gran used to do everyone including me thought this woman was comfortable with any situation but if you looked at the things she did on another level like when she would rub the tips of her fingers back and forth across the tablecloth this is a sign she was not so sure of herself a little uncomfortable with speech in front of others
My MIL does great (if you dont know her well enough or watch her like I do) around alot of people she is up talkative happy this can go on till they leave the room she goes quite till they come back shes happy again talkative etc.
Now thats what the outsiders see, me via the monitor after about 15 or so minutes what I see is she starts to wring her hands sometimes or "play" with them will look down alot or rub on her leg get a little fidgety what they see is her uncomfortable in a sitting position maybe so they assist her to get her comfortable what I see is the start of agitation.
Now leave her presence (her room) and yes she will get depressed but its not depression per say its mulling over everything that just occurred sometimes it comes on quick other times it takes a little build up what you just described is classic behavior here sweetie and I get what your saying if I wasnt watching MIL like I am I would agree with you whole heartedly that this was good to keep her this occupied but for a person with this disease short spurts like 15 minutes to a half hour is much better for them not extended periods of time.

Thanks for your encouraging words Bobcat. B-girl...unfortunately for us here on the homefront, when mom is in the house, she spirals down quickly...She does much better when she is around other people. This house is not a haven, and hasn't been since my dad died. When we stay in, depression overtakes her like a shroud and we're off to the races. I appreciate your input re: stimulation. One thing I've learned is that each situation is unique. Music brought such peace to my dad, it only upsets my mom. Her dad played guitar and banjo, and if she hears anything like that, she spins out. My dad was a jazz musician, played the piano. Big band music filled our house for years. Now she can't stand to hear it. Dad left a library of great music, but I can't turn it on while she is in the house. I wish my siblings were all here, they're coming in a month...by then, who knows how she'll be?

It's ironic...she will probably enter the facility on the one year anniversary of dad's passing, May 22nd...

I just need to get through one day at a time...she "hates" the caregivers now, and resents their "hovering"...

Right now, mom's sleeping thank God, as I am fighting off a migraine. I'm praying for a quiet day...your prayers and support are much appreciated. I'd be even more lost without this support site.
Blessings to you all.
Kathleen

Sorry, I didn't go back to previous posts before responding. You feel like Nurse Ratshit,? Yeah, and I'm Pollyanna, (That is for real what some good friends call me , sometimes with a sneer). I am truely touched, that this has to be now for your Mom, but it in fact is something that has to be done. We all keep our fingers crossed , that this is the right place, the right time.
Next week? .......Hard stuff.....

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Uh baby girl your taking your mom out all day long with all that commotion? No good sweetie theres absolutely too much stimulation going on you cant do this to a person with AD thats a big no no I know you think she is having a great time but the fact of the matter love is that was like lighting a fuse. The bomb was bound to explode.
You have got to keep things relatively calm around her stimulation has got to be kept to a minimum.
Most time I only allow MIL at the most 1/2 hour of stimulation otherwise she'll go off the deep end with me.
Just leave her in a quiet room for a while and let her ride this out Kath but be prepared if my MIL gets like what you just described sometimes it takes a few days to get back to "normal" most times a week....Hang in there sweetie I know how you are feeling

Just thought about what happened here 2 days ago with our new "neighbors" (not much of a fan can you tell) well anyhow we were talking music in another post here today sometimes it soothes sometimes not, well our new neighbor was playin his music (double paned windows here) thump thump you get my drift Kath? MIL went berserk on me bangin on the floor the walls its not pretty what noises (even though we dont think much of it at the moment) do to them...

Kathleen, My heart aches for you.
Does she know she is going? What an excellent effort to have a good time. You do know, that just cause are LOs are "placed" does't mean you lose control, don't you? When you have the strength and time, you girls can have days out. Hang in there, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I haven't faced this transition and I feel like a "straw man" answering you, but tomorrow, who knows? please stay in touch about all this.