I'm a bit upset with Mother. She invited my step-cousin down to spend the night with her before her surgery. My step-cousin is okay but I have some trouble getting up much enthusiasm for that part of the family. Also my aunt is supposed to come as well as my brother. Guess what I'll be doing? Cooking, cleaning, making beds....So I'm a little irritated. Mother didn't ask me if she could invite them. She just invited them. I seem to be the unpaid servant here. In fact, I seem to be the servant who does the paying. But I suppose I'm being selfish since she realizes that she could die during the surgery though I don't think she will. I guess maybe she wants to see people before the bitter end. The thing is that my cousin lives about 2 hours from here and has never visited us. Why now? Maybe she'll back out. We can hope.

Speaking of guest. Now the setup at my house is that mom lives in a trailer just a few steps from my back door. My son with schizophrenia moved in with her so I could finally come home and live a "mormal?' life in my own house. I run back and forth and pretty much stay there except at night and when I have sitters.
My sisters have to stay in my guest room when they come to visit mom. I really don't mind. They are welcome and I make coffee pots and such avaliable to them and expect them to just make themselves at home. They do and that is fine. But rather than going next door and spending time with mom ...they wind up just sitting around here and not spending much time wiht mom.
The next time they come, mom will spend her "up" time at my house in her wheel chair and let them take care of her. They are missing the chance to catch a "Window" when mom has an alert moment and might know them.

But then I have to get them home to visit before even that can happen. Oh well...

quote:

smile and say the tips have not been good so I have cut my services.

Mae, you slay me! I too have felt put out when folks come to visit, but I TRY to take it in stride - I never want to deny anyone access to visiting Mom because ya never know... BUT people have to understand (or not... ) that this house doesn't run like others... every day, I stay behind. "Dressing" things up for a visit means burning midnight hours. Although I feel a little uncomfortable with having visitors when my place is less than acceptable to me, I can't make things like I want them with the energy I have at hand... so they can either accept things as they are or not - I don't care. As far as putting up people at the house - I always ask if folks want me to make a reservation for them at the nearest hotel or if they want the number so they can do it themselves. Having overnight company IN my home is unthinkable at this time. I'm just sorry as heck if it offends folks, but I gotta draw the line SOMEWHERE... As for feeding folks, I am happy to put on a pot of gumbo and make some jambalaya IF I have time, but if not, I order well.

BOH, I don't think you would have been outta line to have called the cousins et al and told them you are so HAPPY to have them come - where would they like you to make reservations and what restaurants do they prefer?

And I don't think you would be outta line to tell your mom - remember what the rules were when YOU were young and wanted to bring home a guest?
ASK FIRST, PLEASE!!
If she has her mental faculties together enough to make surgery decisions, then she has it together enough to understand she needs to consult before speaking.

When friends and family come to visit I tell them where everything is and tell them to make themselves at home and help themselves,I , smile and say the tips have not been good so I have cut my services.
If I know they are going someplace I will say to them after you do what you have to do in your room I will be glad to see that you get to your destination and not get lost.The perfect hostess is fine if you are having a big cellebrattion with invited guests.Just know what they like to eat , try to meet that half way and allow them to self serve.Relax and stop worring.I have found the best times have come when folks just pop in and the house looks a mess.

I'm with Mae. They can make their own beds and order pizza. You may find that they are perfectly content to make themselves at home instead of being waited on.

Or, in the alternative, they'll decide to use a hotel next time because the service at yours stinks. heh

BHH, WE UNDERSTAND MOM WANTING TO SEE THESE PEOPLE.What you do is tell everyone , in a fuuny way, the maid is off and feel free to make what they want to eat.I would not concern my self about the beds