I am at my wit's end. My MIL had a stroke nearly 4 years ago. After she left the rehab center, she lived with my FIL until he developed cancer and could not longer care for her. My BIL admitted them both into a nursing home. My FIL passed away 2 mo. after that.

So immediately my MIL begins telling us she wants to go home. It's been going on for two years. My hubby and I live in CA; my BIL lives across the state; and my SIL has a young child, works when she isn't in school, and lives in a trailer not tailored for wheelchairs. She can't even move herself over to the toilet or from her chair to her bed.

There's no way she can live on her own, and she can't afford to pay someone to stay with her 24/7. We've been talking to her for years that she can't live on her own, can't afford private care, and that the money she did have would be running out eventually.

Eventually has arrived. In order to qualify for Medicaid, she has some property she must sell. She won't do it. In order to pay the NH what she currently owes them, she needs to sell the properties. She won't sell!

She has no money to pay for the NH any more - she needs to go on Medicaid, but can't until her assets are reduced. She's handcuffed us all with her delusions of going home to live in this house!

We were told several months ago that we would not be able to get guardianship over her (the only way we'd be allowed to do what needs to be done) solely on the fact that she's making poor choices, but we're getting to the point where they aren't just poor financial decisions, they're possibly life threatening!

AUGH! She took my BIL's POA away, and made a point of saying in the new one that neither my SIL nor my husband can sell any of her real estate. :-( My SIL has enough on her plate with her son, he EX, finishing school, and working. My BIL now won't have anything to do with helping with any of the financial stuff. And we live in CA! The NH is calling here wanting information and decisions, but my hubby can't do anything because my MIL won't cooperate!

Now, I'm cycling. Sorry. It's just a vicious cycle that keeps repeating only because she won't see reality and do what needs done.

Thanks for letting me vent.

One thing I forgot to ask is: Why does she now owe Medicaid? Was an application previously submitted and approved by them?
And if so, was this submitted as temporary assistance on behalf of your MIL by the nursing facility? Either way, Medicaid will do an investigation (it's referred to as a "look back" period) of your MIL's assets. I'm not clear on how many years this includes in California but whatever was in her name those years, will have to be accounted for (where the money went). And again, Medicaid will either collect the money now or later from her heirs.

quote:

Originally posted by SandraF:
Hi Writer. If I understand your situation correctly, your intentions are for your MIL to remain in the facility but in order to remain eligible for Medicaid, she first has to sell these assets, correct? If this is correct, then Medicare and secondary insurance plays no part in this whatsoever. Medicare only would have covered the first 100 days after which, you MIL's stay would either be considered "private pay" or to meet the requirements under Medicaid, have the qualifying amount of her own assets and no more than this qualifying amount. Permanent nursing stay is not a Medicare covered expense.

She is faced with having to sell these assets now. There are no other decisions on this, sadly. The new Medicaid reform has one prerequisite that is nationwide and that is, whatever they pick up and pay for on your MIL's behalf, will entitle them to become the first benefciaries to collect these assets upon her demise, unless she can become qualified now. If her financial situation doesn't reflect the below amount, they'll take it from her estate when she passes.

She needs to be made aware of this and possibly be spoken to by an attorney, if you can arrange this.

Best of luck with all of this.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: SandyF,

Writer PG... Cali huh?! I feel ya there! Sounds like your in a pickle of a situation but she needs to be told this cant go on. Can you transfer her properties in all of your names? Try to, I have done this already with my own MIL here and it worked (I also live in Cali) Does she have any income whatsoever? There is a gap insurance through AARP that you can apply for I have my MIL on the plan F which picks up where medicare leaves off it cost 168 a month for it but it picks up all bills, hospital too.
(As long as she is not in renal failure though)
If you are going to end up caring for her (or not) you will need the DPOA and POA for her sake and you need to stress to her that if she doesnt and she ends up in the hospital others will make decisions for her best intrests not her or a family member. I hope this helps you. Stay strong sweetie ok! And welcome in!

Can you get her primary dr. to fill out an expert evaluation form stating she needs a guardian??? That is the only way the courts can get someone like her to have a guardian and then someone can make the decisions for her.