It's going on 7:30 here. I just got home. My father was transferred to the snf and I could just die....I can't stand this. My father who's had it so rough for so long is so broken and nobody gives a crapola. The hospital was fantastic, the staff was wonderful. I had more hugs from the nurses and staff and other patients family members when I said goodbye and thanked them. Cooperation, smiles, compassion.... Even the transport service was great....got an invitation for a dinner date too from the driver LOL...all good karma AND THEN.............................He's delivered to his room at the snf, nobody speaking in English, I ask a question and they keep on walking.....I stop them and insist they pay attention and give me a look as if to say, "what the f*cK do you want?" and "yea....whatta ya want?" N A S T Y. They're all huddled in the room next to my fathers, giggling, making fun of one patient by mimicing this patient, talking to himself (AD). I go over to them as asked them why they weren't speaking in English? "Don't you know how to speak English?" and like cockaroaches, when the lights come on, they all scurry. My father was admitted and they just let him lay there. He's not moving, is severely depressed and in a hell to begin with. They leave him there unattended once they give him oxygen. Yesterday when I spoke with the administrator, the very first thing I insisted on was they talk English and to be sure someone would tend to him upon arrival. She swore up and down that this was strictly enforced. Nobody was there for him. I'm going back to the facility now. My fathers in pain and nobody did a thing for him, he needs his insulin too and nobody had even looked at his chart in the hour that I waited for the nurse who I had found earlier but refused to see him until she was done chatting with the other nurses and never did come to see him by the time I left. To think that nursing homes can conduct themselves with such blatant disregard for people at the end of their lives by people who have no training (in the least) in treating these deserving poor souls with the dignity they deserve or just what you would think, inherent, humane compassion for others because, "there but for the grace of God, go I" causes me to want to cry and then rip my nails into their flesh and watch them bleed.

I need to get back to the facility now just to let my father know he's not as alone as he feels.....but he really is. I could just cry for him and kill right now.

This facility has no idea what they're in for with me.

Sandy, what you described is the experience I had where my mother passed away.She had only been there aweek and they played no part in her passing.We walked in the door and all this girls, with long finger mails , dressed for a party and not work.The stood in a group and made comments about all that passed by.The place was good in many respects but the help was horrible and had no business being there.I had a bad time with the facility that cared for my mother for 3 months and she was so neglected she passed as a result.I kept my face in theirs, my son kept doing the same.But , when the cats away the mouse will play.If you get no results you contact someone in your state that over sees the facility.When my husband was in a facility for rehab, we had an incident.I told them I will come there with the police and a reporter.

Yea Kathleen, that about sums it up...hell. Out of all the facilities I've been to for him over the years, this hell is the lesser of all the other evils out there. The physical therapy team there is very serious and have laid out all they plan to work on with my father. I've got a lot of faith in this and this is what he needs to get the hell outta there! If I have to bring him home and hire pt in-home, I will but I haven't reached that yet.

I met with the head of administration and nursing today and reported the aide from Saturday as well as numerous other disturbing things I've seen, been subjected to and witnessed. I received a lot of lip service but will give them the benefit by trusting they will follow up and, if they don't, I will take it to the next level.

P.S. Kathleen, I still can't believe my friend ended her life. She had major problems. She was married to a neighborhood friend of mine who left her when he found out she was fooling around with his brother, for one! Both were bi-polar. She was an obsessive spender (and always looked like she stepped out of a fashion mag), didn't work, shopped-lifted, was hooked on drugs (prescription and non-prescribed) but/and, she was very, very sweet, always smiling, always receptive and kind.....but no more. It's just so unbelievable. Another funeral I'm going to, the 2nd in 3 months of people I've known and grew up with. Like you say, "It's always something."

Sandy
You are describing hell...is there any way you can have him taken elsewhere? My dad was in a snf for 3 days. That's all we could take. It was a shock going from the caring staff at the hospital to a place where he was either ignored or scolded. If you can't get him out, go after 'em girl with everything you've got. Got a little tape recorder you can hide in your purse?

I was devastated to read about your friend. You sweet, sweet girl. Just know we are all thiking of you and you are not alone. Your daddy knows you are fighting for him. I'm praying hard for both of you. keep us posted.
Kathleen

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The one aid tells me, "No way. I'm already on this side and I'm not moving him, I'm already here." I told her this will hurt him. "Get her the hell out of here", she yells.

That would have been ALL she wrote! NO ONE tells me to get the hell out of my parent's room! NO ONE! Not and LIVE! THey would NOT have laid a HAND on him until they demonstrated they could do it properly. Get him the hell out of there before those boobs kill him.

Well, tomorrow, I'm about to make some enemies but ask me if I care. My list is growing.

I got to the snf early and can't find my father. They had transferred him to another room. Finally a nurse tells me he's sitting in the tv room. I get there and he's slumped over, all twisted and looked soooooo broken. I lightly touch him, he opens his eyes and begins to cry. I feel rage but calmly kiss him and then find the nurse. They've had him sitting in the chair in a corner for over 2 hours. Before his surgery, he couldn't sit for an hour and now with just having surgery, the hospital told me, "No more than 20 minutes for the first 2 weeks." I tell the nurse he needs to be put back in bed, that he's in terrible pain. She finds 2 assistants and bring him to the bedside. I tell them, he's on the wrong side of the bed to help assist in transferring, that his good side, his stronger side is the side closest to the bed he should be on. The one aid tells me, "No way. I'm already on this side and I'm not moving him, I'm already here." I told her this will hurt him. "Get her the hell out of here", she yells. (Well, she doesn't know what that just cost her.) She lifts my father, he begins to scream and cry. She gets him on the edge of the bed. The man's equilibrium is bad, he's frightened......it was awful.

On the bright side, pt came in to evaluate him and although they don't know if they will be successful in getting him back to where he was before the surgery, they promised that they would diligently work with him; that they have to wait until he doesn't need the high doses of pain meds he's on now; that by 2 weeks, they'll have a better indication of how far he'll be able to progress but they will start working with him immediately.

While pt was there, I received a phone call. An old friend of mine from NY who also lived in Calif. and now here in Fla., committed suicide...jumped off a 6 story building. 54 years old.

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I need to get back to the facility now just to let my father know he's not as alone as he feels.....but he really is. I could just cry for him and kill right now.

This facility has no idea what they're in for with me.

Go get 'em, darlin'!! I have observed through the years, the "mama bear" attitude with moms and their kids, but it ain't NUTTIN' like the DAUGHTER BEAR experience! Protecting our helpless loved ones is our calling and god help anyone who doesn't do them right!

BG has an EGGCELLENT suggestion in the camera idea. ALSO one of those tiny, voice-activated recorder thingys... Document, document, document and give 'em hell for the way they are doing folks!

One of the major (to me) reasons I wouldn't consider a nursing home for mom is the way staff ridicules and make nasty remarks about their patients. This process is indignant enough without having assholes like that label and scoff at the sad peculiarities our loved ones develop as their illnesses progress... My mom was SOMEBODY in her life and I will be damned and in hell before I allow people to talk about her behind her back, let alone in front of her!

When mom was in the hospital recently, I overheard a conversation between a paid sitter and an end stage AD patient in the next bed... The poor woman was unable to talk and made snorting noises, etc. The sitter was (admittedly, lovingly) teasing her with remarks about being a "little piggy." I tried not to react because sometimes we all tease about things that might seem to other people to be mean-spirited, but are actually those little remarks and things that go on between folks. But it was hard hearing her label the woman as a little piggy... Maybe it was an in-joke between them, I don't know... I hope so...

ANYWAY, I am rambling... get 'em in line, Sandra - not only for your dad but also for the other patients who are not as fortunate as your father is to have a pit-bull for a daughter! Grrrrrrrrrr!!!

Awww.....this is unbelievable...I want to say I can't believe it, but sad to say Sandy..I CAN.
Maybe it's the area w/ are in (I think we both live in SW Fl?..Gulf Coast?) but I ABHORE these types of people who seem to run rampant in these parts PRETENDING they can't speak english. Most can/choose not to when they can get away w/ it. At the Medical practice where I was working we ran into this often...too often/I know it dosen't apply to your situation here, but we then required any patient who couldn't speak english to come w/ an interpreter. Of course they didn't.
I would have gone straight to the head person and got in their face.....I so understand your feeling of rage & SADNESS. These people are usually hired because they say they are bilingual. Whatever the reason it is just no damn excuse for this to be happening to your dear Dad. I hope this offends no one here, but I have found that the healthcare additude towards seniors in this area SUCKS. It seems as though they figure our loved ones don't know what's going on so they are slackers when it comes to being any type of attentive to them. This is, at least my experience w/ my Mom and was also w/ my Dad when he was alive and suffering from cancer. The best nurse he had was the one who came to the house 2X a week from Hospice. It's just not friggin right....
But what you experienced last night is just way too unacceptable. Not administering meds ..ignoring You....I think I might have ,geez I don't know, makes my blood boil just to think about what you all went through. I hope you can get some cooperation w/ this facility when you return. I will tell you, sometimes I wonder how the folks here handle all of what we must to see to it our LO's get good care, and some compassion from some of the healthcare people. I have been in their shoes and I ALWAYS treated patients like I would want my Mom or Dad to be treated. It just stinks . Bless your ever loving heart..and your Dad's.

Ya got a video recorder Baby?! Thats where the freak I would start! Then show that Jack ass what his "staff" extrodinare is really doing for their paycheck! MF! Making fun of patients OH HELL NO! Not medicating your dad BLAM time to git country on their asses! God help somebody that does that in front of me it wouldnt be the first time Ive gone off the deep end here! Give em hell girl!
AND ANOTHER THING!!!! lol was he cute?!