WHY WHY WHY can't they just give a s**t about Mom & her care??? I hate them, I know your'e not "supposed" to hate anyone...but I do, I do I do.
My friggin brother came over to my Mom's yesterday & tried to talk her into having him be POA. What an asshole....did he just think he could bulldoze his way in....YES HE DID....because he is nothing but a big piece of crap. PERIOD.
For God sake my Mom just got out of the hospital for the 3rd time in a month on Friday.
Does he bother to even give a crap on how SHE is. NO NO......just doesn't think it's right that I have "control". He says hes going to supeona her financial records cause he thinks somethings not right.....yeah not right is when you got mom to write your fat ass a check for 100k. Then he says if we don't share poa (I have DPOA....he doesn't realize there is a difference) he will have a state appointed gaurdian. He is just so full of shit. Then he tries to argue in front of my poor Mom. NO way.
Does he want to (or his wife) participate in her daily care. NO he never thinks about it.... but he says I don't have a life....f off you slimey pig.
When my Mom got up to use the bathroom I asked him to shut up and not continue the conversation. OH NO>>> not him/demands to see medical reports from her docs stating she has AD. IN FRONT OF MY MOM.............I have emailed him links/reports everything I can think of & his main concern is if it's hereditary. I have never been so pissed and so sad at the same time. How can these brothers be like this???? It is YOUR MOM YOU JERKS.
I am so beside myself I don't know what to do.
I know I shouldn't let him upset me but after he left my Mom was so friggin exhausted she went to bed & slapt for hours.
It's like he is accusing me of wrongdoing......All I want to do is what is right for Mom and take the best care of her I can. I swear I'm going to hell because I think I could really harm him if I had the chance
My oldest brother is in Mich.& talks out both sides of his mouth and is all bullshit and a shit stirrer.
And the problem is that, as I think Moms Buddy replied to in a previous post I made, is that my dear Mom loves her kids no matter what....and she can not see the evil. How in the world am I going to protect her. I am only one person....I have 3 evil bros. One is always so out of it it doesn't matter....but the younger one is a relentless bastard
Why can't they see that Mom needs their support
How can they ignore what is happening to HER...
How can they claim to care? I hate every single one of them and their useless selfish money hungry spouses.
I am just sad.

Sandraanne,

Perhaps we share the same two asshole brothers? I understand exactly how you feel and you've gotten good advice. Glad to hear you're gotten an appointment with an attorney. Good luck and hang in there!

These Brothers Greedy are turning into the Reptile Brothers - and I am not sure that isn't a politically incorrect insult to reptiles...
What complete and utter egocentric money grubbing assholes they are!

Time to play hardball. As DPOA you HAVE the right to DENY them access to your sick mother. They CERTAINLY should not be allowed to visit her privately as their complete lack of concern for her MEDICAL condition is clearly demonstrated by their prior behavior. I would WARN THEM IN WRITING (sent certified mail) that if they wish to visit their mother, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are they allowed to have upsetting conversations with her. And if it happens again, then write them a letter barring them from visiting her. Period. No WONDER the poor woman ain't bouncing back - those guys are enough to make ANY mother wanna lay down and DIE!

Talk with the attorney for sure but FORCE THEM to cease and desist IMMEDIATELY. A statement from her doctor regarding the ill effects of upsetting the patient might be a good idea.

However, there is no reason you cannot provide medical information to them - if they want a statement from her docs, fine. Give it to them. There is no reason to hide her condition or refuse to allow them to see a statement of her physician's diagnosis and prognosis; BUT, access to her medical records, speaking with her physicians, etc. is another matter... This is not normally a problem and most hospitals, physicians, etc. will "bend" the HIPPA rules to accommodate out-of-town family members, etc. Unfortunately, the HIPPA laws had to be created because of QUARRELSOME, selfish buttheads like your Reptilian Brothers!!

I think a nice letter from an attorney informing them of their rights (which ain't many), and to cease and desist trying to rob their mother's estate, might shut their mouths.

You are in for a fight with these two, so cover your butt and do EVERYTHING in writing and do not converse with them without witnesses.

I am so sorry you and your mom are going through this. There is NOTHING more heart-wrenching than family disputes of this nature. Try to take the high road whenever possible, but stand up to them as well! When it feels too burdensome, remember: your mom put you in charge for a reason:
She trusted and believed in Y O U.
Don't let those jerks wear you down - you simply do NOT have to put up with them!

Good luck, sweetie!

quote:

Originally posted by T.O.R.P.:
Here's my concern, BG: POA's can be too easily downloaded off the internet, and if he gets access to mom and manages to talk her into signing it, they could end up in a mess that might take years to straighten out. (I'm speaking as the voice of experience on this.)

Since the brothers have already demonstrated what sneaky, slimey, low-down, belly-slitherers they are, I would act now to ensure mom's protection.

Im sorry baby I meant the lawyer here I just reread what I wrote in the midst of pure unadulterated anger and saw I wasnt specific! My apologies...Im not havin a good week in the writting arena and this dam yellow letter is driving me insane! Cant see crap! Hell could it be Mercury Retrograde again?! YUP! till the 18th! Yeesh! (astrology lingo here never mind if you dont believe) But make sure you double check everything! Geez could this be the reason why ole doc couldnt remember a conversation with me?!
Huh
Sandra dont ever apologize for the language in here it an anger wall for a reason you can use the bad words here! lol Ill send brother dear a hex for ya! LOL! Muhahahaha

Our LO had the PET scan about two years ago. It didn't tell us much (or at least the neurologist didn't), but wasn't any more taxing physically than getting an x-ray. They don't have to anesthetize them at all. They inject a very mildly radioactive dye into a vein and take a series of scans of their brain (or whatever body part is being looked at) to see how it travels. This way they can see what areas of the brain are damaged, and the extent. Unfortunately, it doesn't affect the treatment much but can be helpful in letting you know what to expect. That is important in your decision making for mom.

If mom's been sick and/or in the hospital, it's not uncommon for her to be extraordinarily confused. This may improve quite a bit once she's healed and settled back into her familiar surroundings.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. We've been there, done that and I know the heart pounding, nauseating fear, anxiety, and bloodboiling anger. Plus the disappointment of having blood kin who are such bottomfeeders. I remember my husband saying once early in our ordeal, "I don't have any family except you and the kids now." It broke his heart. That was several years ago, and we still aren't to the point of even being able to pray for their repentance: we pray for justice.

It's a little comfort, after a fashion, to know that our experience wasn't uncommon. At least, it's more bearable because we can take it a little less personally. But, in the end, it IS personal, isn't it?

Hang in there. I can't say it gets easier, but you can get to a point where you have some peace in your heart about it.

PS: We're all adults here and know all the bad words. Let 'em fly! It's cathartic. *S*

Sorry for all the bad language I was (am) so angry. I called an elder attn. today & have an appt. for Monday. I explained to the asst. briefly what's going on....they squeezed me in. God, this crap makes me sick. Worst of all, my Mom is just physically not doing so hot. Last trip to the hospital they transfused 3 units of blood. She just doesn't seem to be bouncing back. She started on Aricept (went to nuero on Mon) yesterday....who knows/I really don't have much faith in it from what I've heard & even he said that its really minimally effective. She is having a PET scan tomorrow..."they" (who the f. is that...LOL) say that can tell what "stage" she's in. Has anyones LO had this test.? God, I am just so flippin tired. I'm not sure whether to tell my Mom about my appt. w/ the attorney...probably not eh?
BG...When can ya come & kick ass...it would take both of us....he's a @@#$&^%<<
Anyone know how to get this big lump outta my throat or is it a perminant fixture now. ?

Here's my concern, BG: POA's can be too easily downloaded off the internet, and if he gets access to mom and manages to talk her into signing it, they could end up in a mess that might take years to straighten out. (I'm speaking as the voice of experience on this.)

Since the brothers have already demonstrated what sneaky, slimey, low-down, belly-slitherers they are, I would act now to ensure mom's protection.

Let him hire a lawyer! That little piece of shit wont get far I tell you In fact Ide dare him if I were you! THe Ide go out and hire a snake of an attorney...the reason why I say this is you need to see if he will go through with this...and while your at it Tell him if he feels this is what he has to do then you will have no other choice in the matter to bring up that FAT 100K along with his other brother so he will not only do himself in but he will do his dear brother in as well as it wont be hard to prove that your mom was clearly in the midst of AD at the time she wrote these checks and they took advantage of that fact....Wanna try me now?! How do you like me now little bro?! MF!
EEEEEWWWWWW!!! this sickens me to no end!@!! Iwanna kick his ass for ya baby!
AND next time he shows up unanounced call the cops and then file a restraining order!!!!
I misspelled like a mug now Bunny is done!
* off to a corner again! DAM! Mumblin like a SHIUT EEEWWW go punch sumfin now!

I agree with Sandy. You need to involve an attorney right away. Don't delay.

quote:

Originally posted by sandranne:
NO NO......just doesn't think it's right that I have "control". He says hes going to supeona her financial records cause he thinks somethings not right.....yeah not right is when you got mom to write your fat ass a check for 100k. Then he says if we don't share poa (I have DPOA....he doesn't realize there is a difference) he will have a state appointed gaurdian.

Of course he doesn't think it's right that you have control because how else is he going to write checks on his own behalf from your mothers account? Did you ask him why he didn't think it was right you have control? or, what he would do that you're not doing? He can cause undue financial hardships in legal fees but that seems doubtful only because of what you've said about him and his wife. He wouldn't sacrifice what money he may have to fight you for control. Along with poa/dpoa, you're your mothers primary caregiver and no court will overlook the sense that makes of keeping things the way they stand now. Records will show how the money is spent and if anything, without the courts accusing your brother/s of extortion, they'll see what was doled out or divided and question it.

quote:

Originally posted by sandranne:
Why can't they see that Mom needs their support

Simple - they just don't care and they need her support, financially! I really think it's time you call an attorney and have him/her draw up a letter, warning them of what they're in for if they are in fact, serious in taking control and of all the records that will inevitably be revealed on their past activities.