Mom's buddy....the link you gave me is within blocks from my home!

About 6 blocks up the road and round the corner from me!

John is heading this way right now. I will leave the link up on my computer, so he can see it....if he's going to be a sneak, I can do the same!

quote:

Is there "sucker" written on my forehead?

For a manipulative weasel like John, ANYONE is a "mark" - even a middle-aged woman struggling to care for her elderly mother! Seems like he's working out a little passive-aggressive number on you as well! What a prince! Not!

Bless your complete heart, bnot! You did get suckered, but having someone try to pull a fast one on ya is NOT your fault - it's HIS fault for behaving like a slimy, conniving lowlife.

Sorry about the "brother" thing...

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I know John don't want to rock the boat with me.

Doesn't seem to be bothering him that much... I think it's high time to get real assertive. Tell him he has exactly 5 days to come get his dog or you will place Max as abandoned. Period. This "man" - and I use the term very loosely - is a U S E R. Wonder how long he has been using women to clean up li'l Johnny's messes...

At this point whether Johhny-boy thinks a rescue organization is or isn't the way to "rehome" Max is NOT the issue - the fact that he is putting YOU out, shoving HIS problem onto YOU, upsetting both you and your mother while NOT taking care of his responsibility IS the issue. If he thinks he sees a sign over your door that says "The Bnot Rescue Home for Rottweilers", he needs strong meds for those hallucinations!

"Rehome" my rosy red asp. Where do people come up with politically acceptable lingo like that in which to couch their sins? Bam, zoom to da MOON with John, bnot! He needs to "rehome" his OWN sense of manhood and responsibility!

PLEASE do NOT spend one SECOND of your time and energy feeling guilty about any part of this. You got suckered, plain and simple and he is guilt-tripping you by using a really nice dog and your own caring heart as pry-bars.

Man, this just slays me for all concerned, except John, who I wouldn't even bother to p*** on if he was on fire! If I didn't have 115 lbs of big male dawg already, I'd be on I-10 right now headed east.

I am sure GLAD that your mom and your niece aren't living with John any more! Someone THIS manipulative and irresponsible isn't a person that even a goldfish would be safe around... What a complete cad he is! Shame, shame, shame on him!!!

Light a candle? Hell! Light that boy's fanny on fire is more like it!!

He isn't my brother, actually he's my nieces ex-husband. Mom lived with him and niece out there from 2002 till Dec 29th, 07 when she moved back here.

I have an email he sent me dated 12-5-07 saying he'd "come get Max when the time come or earlier if needed".

I'm not a dog hater by far Mom's buddy. I'd do anything for the 2 I have. Before Mom came, you'd have to kill me to get one from me. Now, things quite different since she's been here.

Rotts are Very big dogs, and sure can eat a lot too.

Its something I didn't "sign" up for when I took Mom back.

He also tells Mom ALL. Mom don't need to know about out disagreement about Max. She's 94, she don't need to be upset.

I hate it. I hate I "feel" (yea, that was feel), I'm getting stuck with a dog I didn't ask for.

Thanks for the link. If he leaves Max here, I will need it. I know Max deserves a good home, where someone has time, and energy to give him love. He has a lot to offer, less than 2 years old, fixed, microchipped, great with kids and cats, and has a great temperment, knows a lot of tricks too. Just needs a big home, and larger yard.

Still blows my mind as much time and training he's put into Max, don't want him back.

Oh, I sent John a link for southeast rescue over a week ago.....he said he didn't think that was the way to go to re-home him.

Gawd, how I get myself into this, just getting Mom home???? Is there "sucker" written on my forehead?

I totally understand. You are in a really crappy position... and I applaud and admire the way you are handling the situation!

So your brother is actually the owner, sent him with Mom to "help her get settled" and has essentially dumped Max on you? That's so very unfair from about a zillion points of view!! Sounds like an "ultimato" is in order with your bro. Either he arranges to take possession of Max by ______, or you will place him with someone, somewhere. Personally, your bro doesn't sound like he deserves Max...

I found quite a few rescue organizations in Texas - I'm sure one is near him. In your area, there are several Rescue Organizations. This one sounded good...
http://animalrescuemobile.org/
You could try calling them, explaining that the dog has been dumped on you by a relative and that you cannot keep him and they should be able to offer you some suggestions. Your vet's office may have a bulletin board where you could put up a "Free to Good Home" card or the vets may know of someone looking for a special dog like Max... Other good resources for finding Max a good home are all-breed dog obedience trainers and AKC training clubs (not guard training type folks!). Your circumstances are rather sad so hopefully someone with a soft heart will offer assistance to you in placing Max in a good home. Good luck!

Mom's buddy, I appreciate your point of view.

Since John came yesterday, I've seen Mom spend more time petting Max than she has the entire 2 months she's been here.

I didn't ask for Max. I can't handle him, as its way too much on me.

I have bipolar disorder on top of learning how to take care of my Mother. I really don't need the extra stress of a dog that huge to take care of for the rest of my life.

Mom buys his food, and takes care of the vet bills. Honestly, there is no way on disability, I could afford to feed him if something happened to Mom. Much less buy heart worm prevention, and flea prevention. Its all I can do to keep that for my own 2 small dogs.

I'm the one that takes care of him. And its just too much on me.

3 dogs in a house my size is way too much. And he's too much dog for this house. No matter where he decides to lay, he's in the way when I move.

The owner wasn't looking for a dog when he was presented Max. They'd just lost a beloved rott to rattle snake bite less than a week earlier. His bartenders and waitresses took up a collection and bought Max for him. He couldn't say no, take him back.

Now he's divorced, and works 12 hour shifts, and lives alone. He said he doesn't have the time Max deserves.

With Mom, I don't have time for Max. Of course My Mom comes first. I haven't had the time for my own 2 much less the 3rd one.

Honestly, I can't take the stress of a dog that huge being in my way all the time. 2 yorkies can hop in a corner. If Max attempts a corner in the small rooms I have, he still takes up most of the room.

I've suggested to John and even sent him a website for Rott rescue. He said Paula would re-home Max, and he could stay at Paula's till she re-homed him.

Paula told me today said her husband say NO F*%@ing way could Max stay there. They have 3 large dogs already that stay in the back yard, and 3 cats that stay inside.

I don't know what else to do.....I'm NOT THE OWNER. I've had about all I can take. I don't have time or money to train him. I'm not a dog trainer.

He came with Mom to "help her get settled". It wasn't a forever deal at all. To me, its starting to look like John wanted to get rid of Max, and decided "sending him to help Nanny settle" was a good way to do it.

I know Max didn't ask for any of this. I'd love to see Max have a great home, with a family that loves him, but I don't know anyone looking for a dog that size. I even offered to fly him to one girls place in VA, if they wanted him. She doesn't have a fenced yard though.

Blows my mind, that John comes here yesterday, plays with Max both yesterday and today, and still doesn't want him back. I don't frigging get it. You'd have to kill me to get either of my 2 dogs from me.

I know its not the dogs fault. I never said it was. John is just a frigging ahole if you ask me (can I say that in the anger wall?)

I don't mine at all taking care of my Mom for the rest of her life. But Max is too much on me. Mom spends no time with him. She spends time with one of mine, that is always in her lap. He doesn't get the attention he deserves.

Mom's buddy, he's not a bad dog. It rides my last nerve to have to say "Move Max" every time I move. That along with the dog hair, omg. Yorkies don't shead. My floor is light, Max's hair is dark.

With bipolar disorder also, I need to keep my stress level low as possible. This isn't helping at all. Having a hard enough time learning how to take care of Mom properly, as this is new to me. I know at 94, its as good as it'll ever be with her. One day, it'll get much harder.

With me NOT being his owner, I don't know what else to do. But I refuse to let a dog drive me nutz, (which isn't a far ride at times anyway).

He goes back, is all I can say. Unless someone here wants him, and will promise to give him a good home, and keep him inside, not outside.

I seldom comment on pet issues, particularly dog ones because I am a retired professional dog trainer. Most of my time with dogs professionally was spent bridging the gap between the two species - one with little power, the other with all the power. I have to temper my comments with the sure knowledge that not all people want, need or are suited for canine ownership. Likewise, I do not expect others to live and think the way that I do about dogs because they are a huge part of my life and life's work.

Rotties are not a dog for everyone. The breed would not have had the problems it does today if people would realize that one fact. Personally, I've always tended toward larger breeds of dogs and small dogs hold little in the way of interest for me. The last time I acquired a dog was in 1997 when I adopted a shepherd mix from the shelter after the last of my beloved samoyeds died. A couple of years later, my husband brought home a pup from the bar - a HUGE pup. I did not want him. I had just been through the first two years with the shep, getting him potty and house trained, basic obedience training, etc. Big dogs ain't worth killin' until they hit about 2! I looked at that huge sharpei, yellow lab and LouisianaGodKnowsWhat mix and wanted to scream. Unfortunately before I got home, the old man had wisely gotten the shepherd and the pup together (INSTANT true love forever) and introduced the pup to my son, who also is a huge person of 6'8". So by the time I got in from work, it was a done deal - they all wanted the pup to stay. So I sighed and went back to the land of huge puppy lakes (puddles is totally inaccurate), chewed up stuff and training a huge galoot to be mannerly. Despite my feelings initially, the two dogs were overjoyed at having one another and truly, the pup was smart (although not in a way I was accustomed) and everyone got along fine. Then came Mom.

OMG!! She was unsteady, walking with a walker and these two BIG (90 lbs and 120 lbs.) dogs who would turn a sofa over dashing into the house from all day in the kennel. It was surely gonna be death and dismemberment for her!

BUT the first day home while she was in her room, I let the dogs in and they came bounding in as usual but skidded to a top in front of me as I commanded them to to SIT! STAY! I asked my mother to come into the room and although they wanted to break the command, they kept their butts rooted as I had MURDER in my eye and they knew it. I pointed to her and hugged her and told them that this was MY MAMA and that if they hurt her, they were DEAD. I emphasized that several times, then allowed her to pet both of them on the head. OMG, how they wiggled and wanted to jump on her and lick her and declare shenanigans, but all it took was a reminder of the command and they stayed rooted, quivering with delight and absolute fear. The big un', Louie, was of particular concern because he was still a pup, although fully grown. One paw was enough to black an eye or leave a bruise that would take a month to heal. His tail alone was a deadly weapon, especially if it hit just below one's knee from the side. So I taught my mom the "magic words" - first, the commands for the tricks that each had been taught. Then the operating commands. During those 15 minutes, I taught her what to tell them and how to say it and they learned that this was NOT the everyday training session and there were no mistakes allowed. I leaned on Big Louie hard. He had a shy, obsequious personality so it was pretty easy to put the fear of God into him (actually he fears God a little less than he fears the wrath of Moi). I had no faith it was gonna work, but I did my job. Amazingly, Mom who had never liked big dawgs fell in LOVE with Big Louie and he GUARDED her. He might barrel into the house, but when he approached her, he almost went into a crouch. His whole body would quiver and shake as he TENDERLY put his head (much bigger than her own) in her lap. He never once tangled up her legs or put a single bruise on her body. He took that first lesson to heart. I actually began to train him as a handi-dog (service dogs to assist handicapped people), so that if mom fell, he would get her up. But although he was very willing, I couldn't get Mom to participate in the training, so I hadda scrap that idea. He'd have done it anyway...

Then came the terrier mix when my son's GF had to get rid of him and was bawling. I made the mistake of saying, now stop crying and tell me about this dog. She brought him over and I feared for his life with two huge playmates. I shouldn't have worried. He took charge of them like a border collie and a herd of sheep. He even ran over their backs as they would all gallop into the house just as sheepdogs walk on the backs of their sheep. He RAN those big dogs! Mom by then was bedridden and the little nosy busy dog becamse a companion to her. She calls to him from her room to feed him scraps from her plate (I'm a great dog trainer, but humans are outside my expertise!). I'll hear her saying, "Where are you? Come up here!" and just roll my eyes. It's terrible dog training, but good for an old lady...

The point of the long story is that I didn't want two of the three dogs I had for so many years. The one I chose died of cancer in early '05. I wouldn't give love nor money for the two I didn't want! The huge one is a buttpain with his size. The small one is a buttpain with his boundless energy and mouth. Between the two of them, I never lack for security. A bad person might ignore the little dog but they will never ignore the big one the little dog's bark bring to the situation. NO ONE comes on my property without me knowing about it and few ever venture onto my porch without an escort. I'd be lost without the two of them, as they serve quite different functions in my household. I am grateful that I allowed my initial feelings to be overridden, because it turned out right and I would never have seen that for myself without having it thrust upon me by others. I was in my 40s when all this occurred. Now I am in my mid-50s and I am grateful for the companionship and security. They've earned their feed several times over.

Now my story might not work out the same way for others, but the point of it is that sometimes situations that initially are not desired can become exactly what one needs in the long run.

If your rottie has not offered to bite anyone nor eaten a Yorkie yet, chances are he has a stable personality, unlike many of his breed (thanks to asshole ignorant greedy backyard breeders). Some obedience training could prove to be the best time you and the dog ever spent together. He WANTS to please you or he'd have misbehaved badly already. Yes, he's too big for your little house. Big Louie is too big for mine and he stinks to boot. But no one intending you harm is gonna worry about a couple of Yorkies. The best they can do is alert you to trouble. Same with my little dog. He serves as the alarm system. What Big Louie doesn't hear, Da Mag brings to his attention. When the big gun shows up, instant respect ensues.

If you cannot see your way clear to realize that this guy MIGHT be a a serendipitous boon to your life (with a little work and accommodation on your part), there are plenty of rescue organizations right in your community who would be happy to place him in a home where he would be valued. Shipping him back to TX is absurd. The dog didn't ask for this to happen to him and should not be penalized for it. It would only take me one weekend to find a GOOD home for a well-mannered rottie.

Personally, I think you may be being short-sighted here, but I don't know how deeply your feelings go and I would NEVER want anyone to keep a dog they disliked or could not handle. You have already distinguished yourself to me as someone who is a dog lover and a person who is flexible (otherwise your mom wouldn't be living with you turning backflips for her care) and responsible. My guts tell me that you MAY be missing a wise opportunity not only for security but also for personal growth. I've always been of the opinion that small dogs are relatively useless. Da Mag proved to me how wrong a woman can be. I never had much use for HUGE lumbering dogs, but Big Louie straightened me out on that score, too. The next time I go pup shopping (which will be in the near future as it's getting time and Big Louie is getting mighty grey around his gaping maw), I will remember the lessons those two dogs have taught me and I thank them for it.

PS. The beginning and end of this for me would be that my mother loves the dog. What I will not do for God, country, money or myself, I would do for her.

I'll shut up and go back to my kennel now.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Moms_Buddy,