I can't stand hearing her voice any more. My mother who I love dearly (bottom line), makes me absolutely sick!! Sandy, get me this, Sandy get me that, Sandy I'm hungry, Sandy, did you walk the dog? Did you lock the back door? When are you going to give me a shower? Where's the aid? What's on t.v.? Change the channel for me. What were you talking about on the phone? What are you making me for dinner? On and on and on...... I CAN'T STAND IT..................I'm watching my life pass me by. I'm dressed and ready to get out of here but she wants me back early to give her a shower and clean the carpet.

And in the end, I know I'm going to miss her nagging terribly. You can't win for losing.......

Tense all the time Crick..........And I thought I was the only one.

It's a good thing to sometimes not know what the future holds because the thought of this going on much longer will kill me. Even when I'm away from it all, it's always with me. I'm taking care of 2 sick folks. My father had a severe stroke and is totally disabled and suffers with dementia. My mother is blind and just fading away. She depends on me for more than just sight. I can't get over how the relationship I had with both of them is diminished to resentment most of the time. And I know this is my undoing but I can't stand it anymore! I'm totally trapped, watching my life pass me by and there's nothing I can do about it. While my brother pays his duty call once every 3 weeks and lives his life with no sacrifices or contribution whatsoever, I look forward to going grocery shopping as an escape. I wanted to go away to visit my hometown a while back until my mother went into a complete psychotic episode over it. So, I'm trapped again. Sleeping all night through till morning without one of them calling out? Impossible. This will make letting go when they're gone, easier. That is, if I don't suffer from the guilt of having wished it would end for so long.....

One thing that relieves the tension for me is holding one of my animals. I automatically feel my heart beating slower.

Hang in there as they say, Crick! No other choices for now.

OK, I feel better again...for the moment.

quote:

Originally posted by CRICK50:
Glad I read this. My dad is the same the best part is when he poops and tells me where to clean.I am so tense all the time have to count to 10. I usually start with 10001 it seems to help me calm myself quicker. Your right in the end we will miss the nagging but right now I think about being freed from all of this.

Right now life is minute by minute

This message has been edited. Last edited by: SandyF,

Glad I read this. My dad is the same the best part is when he poops and tells me where to clean.I am so tense all the time have to count to 10. I usually start with 10001 it seems to help me calm myself quicker. Your right in the end we will miss the nagging but right now I think about being freed from all of this.

Right now life is minute by minute