Unfrigginbelievable. My beautiful mom succumbed to CHF on March 30, 2007. Her funeral services were yesterday. A half hour before we're scheduled to be at the funeral home I get several voice mail messages from one of my "brothers" asking me to bring a copy of the will to the funeral home and we can read the will immediately after the funeral services. WTF? Glad I bawled my eyes out before I got the phone calls because I was so pissed off I couldn't even cry at the funeral!

So, I do as asked and have the funeral director make copies for the two vultures - I mean brothers. After the funeral the director asked if we still needed to use the conference room and I said I didn't think so. Told my brothers I just wasn't feeling up to this today. Duh, idiots! And they couldn't figure out why we didn't want to go out to dinner with them after the services!!!!!

So, when my husband and I get home, we have a voice mail message from mom's attorney. We call her back and she tells us that she's already received two voice mail messages from my wonderful family. One from a sister in law, who in my opinion has no business getting involved in this in the first place and one from one of my brothers ranting and raving about the lawyer and my mom as he's being cheered on in the background, presumably by other family members.

He's going to contest the will, saying she was not of sound mind and body (even though she didn't get sick until the following year) which leaves me my childhood home - the home that my mom and MY dad (not their dad) paid for and worked on for so many years. My brothers had families and lives of their own when I was born and mom always insisted that she wanted me to have my childhood home.

As a matter of fact, she told her lawyer she didn't want either of them to get one red cent! LOL However, being the peacemaker I told the lawyer at the time the will was drawn up that if my brothers could behave themselves I would try to give them something. Well now as far as I'm concerned, they can just burn in hell!

My husband and I are the ones that took care of mom in the home as long as we could before it became clear that we could not give her the kind of care she needed and I had no choice but to put her in a nursing home. My brothers were nowhere to be found when it came to the daily care of my mom. I could still tell you all the meds she was on and the dosage - they wouldn't have a clue.

In short, it seems no matter how much you think you have everything in place, there's always going to be some greedy bastard in the family who decides they're not getting their "fair share" and will contest any paperwork, no matter how long ago it was drawn up.

I hate family and am so glad that mom's not around to see how her two asshole sons are behaving. I'd say she'd roll over in her grave but to be honest, she wasn't even in her grave when this nastiness started.

During the services the minister told how mom's spirit is still around us and is watching us and what we're doing. Poor mom, how ashamed she must be of her sons. She never thought they'd do something like this.

Sorry for the long post, I just needed to vent some.

Hi
Know the feeling My Step Sisters lodged court papers on my the day of my fathers funeral, and have been in and out of court now for 4 years.
This is in australia and things maybe different over there but your right they are all vultures when it comes to money.

MsCherokee, I am so sorry about your mom's passing. I am expecting the same kind of treatment when my mom passes. My brother did get POA and has her will. In his opinion this widow, me, and my son who have taken care of both dad, then 2 years later my husband passes and mom is diagnosed with ALZ., and my mom throughout this all has lived here in MOM's house and should get nothing. I now consider my brother a business associate and treat him profesionally, not like family. It's Easter and he didn't even come see his mom even though he's in the next town with his wife's family. I am so sorry for you and do understand. Stay strong and just write them off. If they get to you they win.

MSCherokee,
((((my condolences))) Re: brothers...ick!
Love,
Kathlen

MsCherokee, I'm so sorry to learn of the loss of your mom and the terrible way your brothers are acting. You deserve respect and gratitude from them, not bitterness and envy. It sounds as though they separated themselves from her and had her dead and buried long ago, so they were ready to focus on practical matters. There was zero sensitivity to the freshness or depth of your loss. Shame on them.

So sorry for the loss and having to deal with those with such little regard for your sorrow.Throw them a bone and tell them to go fetch it , if they can

All I can say is these people are a sad representation of family.THEY ALWAYS HAVE THEIR HANDS REACHED OUT FOR MONEY BUT NEVER TO LEND A HELPING HAND.Always wishing for something for nothing.My mother use to say wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which on fills the fastest.You speak about those who do wrong reap what they sow.Well mother brother called me and told me his wife had a bad heart attack.She is home and able to ease drop on his conversation with me.Well, I told him I really do not give a dam and that pay backs are a bitch.I told him he was pnly pleading her case because she was sitting close by.Before he was always stroking her ego to keep her happy.I never imagined my self having sch feelings against another.But this gal is the worst of the worst.Everyone has had to feel the wrath of her anger toward her father and her lack of self confidence.She treated my mother so bad .My mother always reached out to her but she always saw fit to treat her as someone she had to compete for my brothers attn.
I told him she made her bed so just lay in it.
You can only turn your cheek so many times.Next they would want you to bare your behind and turn those cheeks.My brotyher is just as bad for allowing such behavior.She would respect him iof he had stood up to her.Even now he is trying to keep her from getting out of control.

MSCherokee, I'm so sorry for your loss and so glad your Mom isn't here to see this! Apparently she had SOME idea of how these guys are, or she wouldn't have made her will the way that she did!

You are a bigger woman than I... I would have refused to read the will on the day of the funeral and I wouldn't have been very nice about the suggestion, either! There's a time and place for everything. The day of someone's funeral, IMHO, is for celebrating their lives and sharing the grief of their loss with others who knew them. I think of it like a solemn holiday dedicated to the memory of a person. Business comes later. THe next day would have had to be fine 'cause I have a tendency to eat people when I'm hurting and they poke me with a stick!

Let the blowhards blow on. Let them spend their money on attorneys, etc. I don't think they have a leg on which to stand - they are simply making trouble. Let them call your attorney - they are not worth speaking with!

THis is one of the SADDEST parts of the passing of loved ones: the way people fight like jackals after the death. I don't blame you for feeling angry, hurt and disappointed with their behavior... try to insulate yourself from the greedheads and don't allow them to upset your inner peace. You have enough on your plate with getting on with life after your mom's death - try not to hold on to the bad feelings - let it go so that it doesn't bog you down at this time in your life. Wouldn't it be nice if some scientist came up with an Anti-Asshole Force Field? If only we could hold up a cross or wear garlic or something to REPEL people like this from our lives along with their hatefulness and greed...

I hope you'll be extra kind to yourself - find a place or space where you can just let all the emotions wash over you so that you can begin to recenter yourself. Many blessings for the loving care you gave to your mom!

We just heard from our attorney who basically said we have nothing to worry about, the house wasn't part of the will, she signed it over a year before her decline and that the burden of proof will be on my so called brothers.

So, my wish is that these greedy pricks burn in hell. It may be mean of me, but IMO I'm not going to even give them the old pictures that I was in the process of sorting down for each brother. It's quite obvious unless it's green and has a denomination on it, they don't want it!

BTW Donswife I absolutely LOVE your idea! Can't think of a better way to release anger and not cause bodily harm to someone!

I have a plan.
Don used to be quite involved in restoring antique aircraft, and then cars. We have a nearly empty 40x60 foot metal building on our lot. I'm going to go to yard sales and start collecting all the reasonably priced (read Very Cheap!) glass and china I can find, and stack it in the hangar.
Can you imagine how satisfying it will be to throw that against the wall, and not have to worry about cleaning it up for a while?
Just slam it and leave it!
If y'all get down my way, bring pictures to hang up and aim at, if you wish. Perhaps some day we will have a huge beautiful Caregivers Mosaic, dedicated to all of our loved ones, inspired by all the greedy money-hungry bastard vultures we left eating dust!

MC I am heartsick for you. (((hugs)))

This just goes to show you MC they cared NOT for your mom or you, all they cared about was what they could get.
This SIL tell her to mind her own dam bidness and stop getting involved in crap thats none of her concern.
For those 2 greedy little SOB's may they rot in hell for what they are doing to you.
What I hate... the fact that they wouldnt even let us mourn the loss of our beloved mothers! Bastards!

((((hugs for you)))))

I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother.

As to the parasites, I'll pray for justice on them. Maybe a nice, old-testament case of painful boils all over, in addition to being out a bunch of lawyers fees after the judge tells them to buzz off.

((((MSCherokee, I am so very sorry to hear of your dear Mom's passing, please accept my heartfelt condolences.)))))))
The worm can sure turn when someone passes.
My dear Father passed away a few years back (before my Mom was ill) and the brothers were relentless with my Mom, yes , just like vultures.......even though he of course, left everything to Mom, they were browbeating her within days of dear Dad's passing from cancer for things.
It was discusting and heartbreaking, as they were never around when he was ill, Mom and I took care of him in her home until he passed.

Now, even BEFORE Mom is gone, they are at me continuosly (I won't go into detail...I have in other posts though) They think they should get it all.....Moms not gone . Talk about vultures...I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR.
My husband & I take care of Mom as you and yours did your Mom.
It is heartbreaking to hear you must go through this at this time of mourning your loss.
I hope your brothers and SIL's rot in proverbial hell along with mine.
I can only hope and pray that they step back, and up, and act like real men....not money grubbing assholes.
Sad to say that the heartbreak goes on, isn't it?
I truly am sorry for your loss and what you are having to go through.
Sandra