My mother will be 95 on Sunday, Sept. 20. I came up with the idea of having a reception for her at her church about 3 weeks ago. I thought about making it a surprise, but my mother is particular about her dress, and I was afraid of the fallout if she got surprised without being in the "right" outfit. So, I told her about the event. Very bad mistake. She said that her church always feeds people after church, and no one has ever just had a reception. She suggested that I could have fried chicken (easy to order).
Last Sunday Sept.13, someone had a fried chicken dinner to honor the outgoing pastor. I had already told my mother in no uncertain terms that I could not change the menu and would not be entertaining any more changes since I had already had to change my original plan. Now, here comes the Anger Wall part. Yesterday, I came home from work after a particularly busy day. My mother asked me to listen to something she was going to show me "without just blowing up". You guessed it. She showed me an ad in the paper for whole hams, 99 cents a pound. On Tuesday when the party is Sunday and I've already ordered the chicken. Not even thinking that these hams have to be cooked and sliced for 100 people. I calmly and politely reminded that I had already told her no more changes, the hams have to be cooked and sliced, and I don't have anywhere to store the meat until I can get it to church, since I am already making cole slaw, pasta salad, and fruit AND vegetable trays. She got upset with my response, and tried to make it seem as if she was only offering a helpful suggestion.
I went into the kitchen to cook dinner, and spent about three minutes cursing and vowing that even if she turns 200, she will have no more parties from me. As for those who will be expecting me to throw a party when she gets to be 100, too damn bad. This has got to be the height of ingratitude. She DOES NOT have Alzheimer's or dementia (per her doctor), she's just a control freak who can't handle not being in charge of something. I get bossed around on a daily basis, and she almost never gives me credit for having any sense or being able to manage anything.
Carol, I am glad you were able to pull it off. By 9:45 PM, a quiet remark is hardly losing it. Do you think it would help if you didn't wait until she found the last button to push. If she really can do it for herself, maybe she should!!
Carol, you did a very good thing having the party. If others want her to have a 100th b'day party, don't stop them, just step aside, give a curtsey and say "Go for it"!!! Your Mom may never give you credit, but I know it would be nice to hear a thankyou or a job well done. So, Job well done , Carol....Good work.!
That is too funny. Actually, it came off pretty well, and I made it through the whole thing without losing it. Everything was fine until my mother just made me pick and fetch for her one too many times by 9:45 PM, and I had to tell her I am not her slave. She got off my case after that. I guess when you are bone tired, one more request to give somebody something that is lying within reach on their bed just doesn't sit well. I know that I sound really mean, but I have been doing this for 15 years. I try my best to be patient, but I feel my mother just enjoys pushing my buttons until I snap, just like a child would do, and not being able to apply discipline like I would with a spoiled brat is taking its toll. Thank you all for being there.
I vote for her 100th to make it a covered dish event so that you just have to shell for the venue and the Chippendale Dancers, maybe hang a little crepe paper.
I understand completely. I remember an anniversary party we gave when my MIL almost drove me INSANE. The party for FOR her by not BY her. But I swear, I got twenty telephone calls a day worrying about things like what freaking color the punch was going to be and whether it would coordinate with the floral arrangements.
By the time the party arrived, I didn't even want to go. LOL But when party day arrive, she had a wonderful day and was so happy. (My poor father-in-law spent most of the party with the other beleaguered husbands hiding around the side of the building sneaking smokes. LOL)
