My step mom was taken off a feeding tube last Wednesday. My stepsister made this decision and never even phoned to tell me. I found out when I went to visit today. I was so sad. Sad because now I knew she was going to die for sure and for the fact that I wasn't told and I could have missed my last chance to visit. There is a big mess with my family and I don't know my stepsisters very well, but I do love their mom. I've known her since I was 8. I don't know what I'm looking for by posting here, but I just needed to let this out tonight. I'm going back tomorrow to see my stepmom and hopefully I'm not too late. I don't know how long someone lasts without any food or water. I know she is still getting pain medication, so hopefully that will help. My stepsister said today that she was told that in the end the patient gets almost uphoric. Thanks...

Thank you for your posts. I went back today and my stepmom was just sleeping. My stepsister was there and she gave me some pictures of us with my stepmom that were at the house. Some of my dad too. He passed 3 years ago. I was so glad that I went yesterday because she was talking a little, but now she just sleeps. It's so sad. I won't be able to get down there again in the next couple of days, so this was probably the last time I would see her alive. She was just skin and bones. She was a skinny lady to begin with. It's so hard to lose someone you love.

My MIL died of lung cancer in July of this year. She was only 58 and only diagnosed 2 months prior. She went so quick which in a way is good. It's been a hard year for our family. My 4 year old son still cries everyday that he misses his nana. Now another person he loves is going to heaven too.

Welcome austinminigirl. So sorry to hear that your stepmom is passing... I hope that you will be able to make a peace with your stepsister's decision. I think perhaps she just forgot with everything on her mind...

I hope you have time for a good visit in the next week... this is mighty tough, but you are fortunate to be able to visit one mo' time before she has to go. {{{HUGS}}}

Austin

I understand being upset w/the decision your step-sis made. Please keep in mind that we all deal w/grief differently and for some it's just easier to make decisions on your own.

Since you don't know your step-sisters very well it is possible that they are unaware of how much you love their "Mom".

Take the time you have with your step Mom and consider it a blessing. Many of us that have dealt w/death don't have the chance to say good-bye.

It sounds as though your step sister needs to keep this passage, personal and exclusive to her and herself, alone. This decision was hers to make and obviously wasn't one she needed support with. I don't think it's right or wrong, it just is what it is austin... You could have BUT you didn't miss out on another visit so try to let what could have been, not stand in the way of trying to find some comfort from one another during this time.