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This message has been edited. Last edited by: SandyF,

My thoughts are with you for your loss, Sandy. We also held a memorial at home for my father (last Wednesday) because of my mother's deteriorating health. I had said goodbye to my father in the hospital and, first, agreed with my brothers that we didn't need any kind of service, but my mom was in the hospital, herself, and didn't get that closure. I decided, separate of my brothers, that I would call the pastor of the church they used to attend when they could still get out. Several friends came and it was a really beautiful afternoon full of memories of dad and comfort for my mom. I am so, so happy I didn't defer to my siblings.

As a Jewish woman (Reform) I too was surprised at the comfort in the 'shiva' tradition. I think it is the being together. I also found comfort in the yearly lighting of a candle in remembrance - such a simple yet beautiful way to remember someone. I love the photo here - such vitally alive people. My husband's Zaydee died on Dec 23rd - our last grandparent - so we are in a similar mind set right now. We got out a bunch of old photos and looked through them with our kids. Remembering them as they were in the best, healthiest part of life is best I think. It's how I hope to be remembered. May you feel peace and know that your father is with G-d.
~Hannah

Sandy F, WOW!mom was beautiful and dad so handsome.Still think he resembles a young Sinatra.It will take time to absorb all that has happened.We are never prepared, mentally , for the loss of a loved one.You have to deal with this in your way and no limit on time to grieve.
You know we are with you in spirit.